The New Intimacy

How do you tell your friend "He's just not right for you!"

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Contributor: xgreatlovex xgreatlovex
I don't want to get involved but some of my friends have this revolving door of men and get soo excited over each one and I meet them and just want to scream NEXT
05/21/2013
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Contributor: edeneve edeneve
I've had to deal w/ this. I've told them I just don't think about him in that way.
05/21/2013
Contributor: eri86 eri86
You tell them straight up, but nicely, and explain why. And that's all you can do.
05/22/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
You don't. That's the fastest way to loae a friend.
05/22/2013
Contributor: oneeyedoctopus oneeyedoctopus
These are the sorts of opinions I keep to myself
05/22/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by xgreatlovex
I don't want to get involved but some of my friends have this revolving door of men and get soo excited over each one and I meet them and just want to scream NEXT
If their new partner seems dangerous, I'd tell 'em.

If it's just an issue of him seeming boring or something, I wouldn't. Mostly, I agree with Stormy - that's how friendships end.
05/22/2013
Contributor: gsfanatic gsfanatic
Unless it's a clear hazard, I'd say nothing unless asked, then be polite but not enthusiastic.
05/22/2013
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by gsfanatic
Unless it's a clear hazard, I'd say nothing unless asked, then be polite but not enthusiastic.
This! If they are really being a jerk, you know they're cheating or trying to, or you googled them and found out they have a warrant for their arrest... Tell her! If they just don't seem right, you don't have to lie, but try to stay neutral.
05/22/2013
Contributor: ChaiMocha ChaiMocha
One of my best friends is the queen of this. Unless there's a specific reason you don't think it's a good idea or it wont work out. Just grit your teeth and ignore it, I know how super annoying it is but chances are they wont listen to you anyway, or they may even get upset. Everyone has to make their own mistakes sadly.
05/23/2013
Contributor: js250 js250
You know, in the big picture--by the time the friend listens to you they are going to be ready for the next one to show up. I have a friend that is ready to have his new girlfriends move in and talks permanent issues with every new girl in the picture--makes for some long days for hubby and I when we have to listen to him....but he gets over it and goes on.

After talking to my hubby, we realize he is just desperate for someone to love and love him back. It is actually sad and lonely for him--so he overcompensates in the relationships.

Appreciate what YOU have and tolerate their raves about the new guy. Hopefully they find someone to love and be loved by, but until then just be the best friend you can be. You don't have to lie or play the game--just say you are glad they are happy.
05/23/2013