I can't stand my boyfriend's friends.

The New Intimacy

I can't stand my boyfriend's friends.

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Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Any SNL fans? Kristen Wiig and Jason Sudeikis played this horrible couple who always chewed gum and spoke in monotone voice constantly asking each other "What? The what? The what? The what?" Really just the most obnoxious, self-absorbed losers you could imagine. Of course, since it's on TV, it's hilarious. Not so much so when that couple really exists and they happen to be my man's best friends.

I'll call them Jake and Jane. They live together, yet constantly break up. Jane will routinely contact my boyfriend for pot when she is out. Jake calls my guy everyday (EVERY. DAY.) and chats about NOTHING for like 2 hours. My boyfriend will literally put the phone down, walk away, then come back and begin to play video games, and Jake will still be prattling on about bullshit. He can't hold down a job for more than 2 weeks, he lives with his parents, he's one of those people who will start drama on Facebook, etc. He's like Snooki.

The final straw, the moment when I realized I could no longer continue to bullshit and fake a smile and casual friendship with this man was when my boyfriend left for China. He came down to visit me and we got a hotel room. Jake called him constantly and complained that they were supposed to hang out that weekend, and my guy had bailed on him. They had hung out the previous 2 weekends and had said their goodbyes. I was dumbfounded by this childish behavior from a 27 year old man. The day after my guy left for China, Jake posted a Facebook status saying "You have no idea what it's like to have to say goodbye to your best friend of 23 years as he goes to another country for 10 months." So I responded "Try being his girlfriend for almost 3 years and saying goodbye. You get to see him everyday. Get over it." His response?

"I know him better than you and it's not like you see him anyway. I miss him more than you do."

Really?

Really.

Anyone out there feel my pain? Was I wrong to be offended by this comment? How do I deal with the fact that I hate this loser but love my boyfriend? I don't EVER want to tell my guy to lose him, or pick one of us (that is immature and childish, and cruel to boot) but...this cat is crazy. His girlfriend, I can handle. Or ignore. Whatever.

Sorry. Just had to rant
10/15/2010
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Contributor: Illusional Illusional
No, it's totally fine to rant.
My boyfriend has unbearable friends at times.
I really really can't stand to be around them, but being a good girlfriend I tried.

His friends, call them Sam and Sue.. are ridiculously unclean and mopey.
Sue alway flirts with my boyfriend even though her damn husband is right there and even suggested a threesome with them both while I was sleeping in the other room.

Sue acts as if I'm some child and that my boyfriend has this dirty past that I'm unaware of. This couple has caused several fights between my boyfriend and I.

He admits their downfalls and wrongdoings, I guess he doesn't care enough.
Sam always suggests that my boyfriend isn't committed enough and in a long distance relationship of three years, who wants to hear that?

Through it out, I play it super sweet and nice. I'm always listening to music and perky and it pisses off Sue to no end. I always offer to cook for them and clean everything. It's my method and I'm sticking to it!
10/15/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
No, it's totally fine to rant.
My boyfriend has unbearable friends at times.
I really really can't stand to be around them, but being a good girlfriend I tried.

His friends, call them Sam and Sue.. are ridiculously unclean and ... more
"Kill them with kindness".

I respect you for being able to put up with that kinda crap. My boyfriend sounds like yours. His friends behaviors do irritate him at times, but I know he will never really let them go. They've always been around. I think I'm going to try your method and see what happens. I don't want to let these people get to me, but sometimes...I just wanna strangle them
10/15/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Any SNL fans? Kristen Wiig and Jason Sudeikis played this horrible couple who always chewed gum and spoke in monotone voice constantly asking each other "What? The what? The what? The what?" Really just the most obnoxious, self-absorbed ... more
His facebook status MIGHT not have been directed at you specifically-just a "you" as in general public. So, I can see why he might have reacted the way he did with his stupid immature comment back to you. He sounds a lot like this one guy friend my bf had for a short time. The guy was super klingy and him and his wife were a joke. They also smoked pot, had no lives, and started drama constantly. This guy is just a fucking baby who has a need to feel more important to your bf than you are because he isn't important to his gf for more than a week at a time. He is just unhappy with his own sad life. Or at least that is what it was in my situation. My bf did the same stuff with listening just to be nice...these guys are just lucky that their guy friends are too nice to tell them how annoying, selfish, and lazy they are. But luckily they have gfs like you and I to put them in their place if need be. It's not the same to compare the two pains, BUT obviously you know the worth of this guy to your bf. That isn't something this jack ass would ever believe anyways. It's not a fucking competition and if this guy tries to make it one again remind him of his insensitivity. It isn't about HIM, but about his supposed best friend who isn't saying bye to one person like he is, but he said bye to many.

I think I just did a bit of living vicariously through you by ranting myself. Thanks lol.

P.S. My story ended wonderfully. The guy's wife started drama, the guy stood up for her. My bf said enough and he split. I never said anything to the guy about it. They ended up getting divorced.
10/15/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Blinker
Any SNL fans? Kristen Wiig and Jason Sudeikis played this horrible couple who always chewed gum and spoke in monotone voice constantly asking each other "What? The what? The what? The what?" Really just the most obnoxious, self-absorbed ... more
Jake sounds like a child. Ug. A lot of men have a house a wife and a job and bills to pay by this age. He needs to grow up.

Why waste time with him? You can do better. "I knew him better than you did." ??? Is he in Middle School? Silly boy.
10/18/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
No, it's totally fine to rant.
My boyfriend has unbearable friends at times.
I really really can't stand to be around them, but being a good girlfriend I tried.

His friends, call them Sam and Sue.. are ridiculously unclean and ... more
These two are behaving in Classic Personality Disordered fashion. WHY does your bf put up with it? I hate to cut people out of my life, but at the first hint of Borderline or Manipulative behavior, or if someone tries to get into my business, I've learned over the years that these people do not grow up. I find a graceful way out of the relationship.

These people can't be "won over." DON'T let them "cause a fight." You are playing into their Drama if you do this stuff. Don't take what they say as Fight Fodder. It is what they want. DO NOT approach your bf with something they said he did or said, chances are it's an exaggeration. Do approach your bf, using "I" messages to let him know the relationship with these people is one sided and makes you feel bad. Some guys are too sentimental to "let go" of old friends, but when they make trouble in these men's love lives, sometimes some adult conversation with your bf (not with these people, it will do NO good) would help.
10/18/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Jake sounds like a child. Ug. A lot of men have a house a wife and a job and bills to pay by this age. He needs to grow up.

Why waste time with him? You can do better. "I knew him better than you did." ??? Is he in Middle School? Silly boy.
He is essentially a 27 year old middle schooler. Recently he enrolled into a "chef" class at a tech school and thusly believes he is God's gift in the kitchen. When I told him I was making coq au vin for dinner Sunday night, he sent me a message saying I wouldn't know what I was doing and would ruin it.

So I guess a one night a week cooking class that helps idiots cook fried rice is the only way to properly cook. He can't even keep a job as a fucking fry cook for more than 10 days without getting fired for being himself.

*cough*

I'd delete him if it wasn't so entertaining, dammit.
10/18/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Reminds me of some of the furries I see playing on some online games. Drama, child's play, immature comments, etc. Seriously, snipers doing body shots in game are allowed, so what, you can't get headshots 100% of the time, get over it. *rolls eyes*

Guess I'm lucky, I get along with my bf's friends, and he gets along with mine. I cut people out of my life real fast who are nothing more than tapeworms. I have enough problems as is coupled with my own depression and anxiety, i don't need extra shit to hit that fan.
10/18/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
These two are behaving in Classic Personality Disordered fashion. WHY does your bf put up with it? I hate to cut people out of my life, but at the first hint of Borderline or Manipulative behavior, or if someone tries to get into my business, ... more
I've slowly realized this. Whenever he says something or anything, I ignore it.
It's bound to be a lie, and just ignore it. Sometimes it hurt, but I have to realize they're just douches.
11/01/2010