In need of ADVICE!

The New Intimacy

In need of ADVICE!

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Contributor: RavenWolf88 RavenWolf88
I have been single for quite a bit now and have decided I am tired of being single. But I am having a bit of a problem because I was single in the first place because of my health. I have a multiple issues, but ultimately they all boil down to causing me to be in pain. There is no cure for what I have and as I grow older, the pain will only get worse. I am not contagious, but my question for everyone here is, how and when is it a good time to bring a topic such as this up?

I have to take multiple medications and if I end up going out to dinner late in the evening or I end up well 'getting lucky', I will most likely end up having to take a pill or four. I don't want them to assume I am doing drugs or whatever and at the same time I don't want to lie or broach this subject too soon and scare them away. I tend to be a bit embarassed/shy/ashamed /touchy about discussing my health (which I am working on getting over) and I guess this is one area I am just completey at a loss as to what to do.
01/01/2012
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Contributor: Subbi Subbi
Quote:
Originally posted by RavenWolf88
I have been single for quite a bit now and have decided I am tired of being single. But I am having a bit of a problem because I was single in the first place because of my health. I have a multiple issues, but ultimately they all boil down to ... more
I personally would tell the person around the second date. Get to know them and if you like them just tell them what is going on. If the person can't accept it and love you anyways then you are better off finding out in the beginning.
01/01/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Quote:
Originally posted by RavenWolf88
I have been single for quite a bit now and have decided I am tired of being single. But I am having a bit of a problem because I was single in the first place because of my health. I have a multiple issues, but ultimately they all boil down to ... more
I think that first you should get to know them a little bit but after the first date or second date you should let them know. That way you will know if YOU like THEM and give them a chance to get to know you, but not wait too long so that they don't get in over their head.

For me, I met my hubby online, and we texted for a week before our first date, and he knew about my pain issues before he met me. I have very poor health as well, and that's always something I worry about in relationships, because there are days (which are MOST days) where its all I can do to sit up and watch TV much less go out and do something.
01/01/2012
Contributor: Nora Nora
I have had diabetes for over 21 years now, so needles are a big part of my life. I found that it was easiest to be up front about it.

Nothing scares a potential partner away faster than catching you sneaking off to "shoot up"! In my case though, it is also a safety thing...my partner has to know that I could potentially have a severe drop in my blood sugar during the "getting lucky" part (which I have done many times over the years).

If they have an issue with you needing to take care of yourself, they aren't right for you anyway!
01/01/2012
Contributor: prttynink prttynink
Quote:
Originally posted by Nora
I have had diabetes for over 21 years now, so needles are a big part of my life. I found that it was easiest to be up front about it.

Nothing scares a potential partner away faster than catching you sneaking off to "shoot up"! In ... more
I agree, if I were with someone with any kind of medical issue I would want to know right off the bat, especially if there's the possibility that I will need to help care for them, or be able to get them the care that they need.

Anyone worth spending a significant amount of time with should be understanding of you and your needs. And if they're not, it's not going to work out.
01/02/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
I think that first you should get to know them a little bit but after the first date or second date you should let them know. That way you will know if YOU like THEM and give them a chance to get to know you, but not wait too long so that they ... more
This! Don't let them know too late! I personally would let them know when they had to see me taking a pill or two. I may not tell them all of the details, but just an overview of the situation.
01/02/2012