The New Intimacy

Insecurity

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Contributor: Tart Tart
So I have been with the same man sexually for about two months. To me that is dating... even though we don't go to dinner and shit. I guess I would call it a casual relationship. Anyway.. that isn't the point of my discussion topic so who cares..

I got into a little tiff with him last night over his cock size. I must have said something pretty bad, because now he is totally sulking because he thinks I said he has a small dick. Which he doesn't, it's about 7 inches hard.

I thought I was giving a nice compliment when I said "I love that you don't choke me with your cock." I thought about it and in some ways, yeah, I can see how that could be seen as a backhanded compliment, but in no way could it be miss-communicated as a "low blow."

My first reaction was: "are men really that insecure about their penis size?" "Did I really say something that offensive?"

Whatever it was, his insecurity about his size totally turned me off, and obviously pissed him off. I'm laying low to see if he comes around, but if he doesn't I kinda don't care because I'm not really interested in being with someone who is that insecure about themselves.

I suppose the question for discussion is all of the above, but mostly... How do you feel about male insecurity?
11/08/2010
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Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
This isn't too far off of last week's Tuesdays with Nina.
11/08/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
That would totally annoy me. I personally dont like the longest cock ever. I like the one that fits. That doesnt beat the shit out of my cervix.
11/08/2010
Contributor: Harlequin Harlequin
interesting.
12/11/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Tart
So I have been with the same man sexually for about two months. To me that is dating... even though we don't go to dinner and shit. I guess I would call it a casual relationship. Anyway.. that isn't the point of my discussion topic so who ... more
OMGoodness just explain to him you meant he is careful when you are having oral sex and he doesn't thrust and choke you. Such a silly thing to get all upset about! Then again tell a woman her pants make her look juicy and large and she'll bite your face off, generally speaking. So were it me I would simply appologize to him for hurting his feelings without trying to explain it away.
12/25/2010
Contributor: KnK KnK
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
OMGoodness just explain to him you meant he is careful when you are having oral sex and he doesn't thrust and choke you. Such a silly thing to get all upset about! Then again tell a woman her pants make her look juicy and large and she'll ... more
I think Airen has some pretty good advice here. I think every guy I've ever been with has had some penis insecurity, which is in it's own way sad and kind of sweet; maybe I can say that since none of them have been small so far?

With the last one, I had to pull out one of my sex toys and do a side by side comparison to prove he wasn't small. I told him, "Hey look at this vibrator. It's way thinner than your dick and it's shorter too. If this gets me off, than your dick is definitely big enough for me. It's what you do with it, not just the size."

He perked up, but every so often it did still take some reassurance.
12/25/2010
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
Insecurity (male or female) is a turn off. My husband does not have a large cock. It's about 6 inches on a good day. He fucks me better than any other previous partner, and I've had some large dicks. He's confident in his ability, and his ability is outstanding. He makes me the focus. He never lets himself cum until I cum first. He uses many different positions to penetrate me deep. It's really fantastic. Also, he introduced me to the wonderful world of anal. Never would have even considered that with previous horse cock boyfriends.

But yeah, if he can't get over his dick size, I say move on to somebody that has some confidence.
12/26/2010
Contributor: Danielle1220 Danielle1220
Quote:
Originally posted by UnknownGirl
Insecurity (male or female) is a turn off. My husband does not have a large cock. It's about 6 inches on a good day. He fucks me better than any other previous partner, and I've had some large dicks. He's confident in his ability, and his ... more
^ This, very well said!
12/29/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
That would totally annoy me. I personally dont like the longest cock ever. I like the one that fits. That doesnt beat the shit out of my cervix.
My exact feelings. My fiance isn't the biggest guy out there, but I don't want him any bigger because he doesn't hit my cervix like, ever. It's really nice for him to be able to thrust hard without me having to be in pain. Unfortunately it's taken a long time for him to not have problems with his size, and even now he still does from time to time, thanks to a few girlfriends who kept telling him he wasn't big enough to please them.
12/29/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
My husband is almost 8 inches long and he is insecure about his too sometimes, wishing he were a bit thicker. It does hurt me sometimes because he is a bit long, and he'll feel bad, but if we switch positions around, we can find one where it doesn't hurt my cervix.
12/29/2010
Contributor: ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
My ex was maybe 5 1/2 inches, but he really wasn't insecure about it. He knew what to do with it and it was pretty much always satisfying. It's kind of sad that so many men have insecurity like that, but then again like Airen said, women can be sensitive about silly things, too.
12/29/2010
Contributor: MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
I dont really blame men for being insecure about that. I've seen plenty of woman judge a man on his size. When a friend of mine asked me how big my bf's was and i told her 6 1/2 inches she just kind of said '' Oh thats not very big''. It kinda pissed me off a bit really. Its on par with how woman at early ages wont think of them self highly until a honest man tells them how beautiful they are. When my bf and me started dateing he thought he was small and would be laughed at. Honestly it looks bigger then what it is so i never saw a problem with it. Theres nothing wrong with men being insecure about their size.
12/29/2010
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I don't mind reassuring a partner from time to time about size.
I can totally understand it cause I have insecurities myself. I can't expect anyone to accept mine if I can't accept theirs.

Like I always say - it's not the size that counts ... as long as the guy knows how to work it!!!!
01/01/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
The media has a lot to answer for on how a lot of us feel about our bodies - both females and males!
01/01/2011
Contributor: clp clp
Everyone has a bit of insecurity to some extent--I'd definitely say 'perfect' egomanics are MUCH more annoying than someone with a bit of reservation. If it is to this degree, though, where a person would get bent out of shape and start fights over it... that's not cool. That tells me there is a bigger iceberg under the water that he either hasn't dealt with or is not aware of.

I'm all for patience and understanding, especially when it comes to dealing with your partner, but its just basic that a person with blinding jealousies or insecurities is not happy with themselves--and cannot offer you very much as a consequence. Sometimes you have to just call a situation ill-timed.
01/01/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
The media has a lot to answer for on how a lot of us feel about our bodies - both females and males!
Agreed!

My boyfriend sometimes feels insecure and I have to reassure him every now and again.
01/01/2011