Long Distance relationship

I've never done a long distance relationship. I really don't think I could either. I'm not quite sure what your circumstances are, like why it's long distance and what not. I guess it depends how long you'll be long distance. If it's not long, I'm sure you'll find ways to make it work.

Here's my current experience!

I'm currently in a long-term, long-distance relationship with eventual plans to move somewhere together, but no real idea of when this will be possible. We met in college, became close friends, but before anything else could really develop, I left. We stayed extremely close online, talking every single day. I was helping them with a lot of identity stuff and through school, they were helping me through depression and social isolation. We've bonded through some of the hardest parts of our lives, and while we were mutually attracted, we were scared to rock the boat and kept missing each others' cues entirely. Finally, FINALLY, after some bolder flirting, we realized we were being silly and just decided to go official. The move from friendship to being partnered was nearly seamless.

Part of what makes us so unshakably stable is routine. I message them every morning when I wake up. I drink my coffee and we'll chat off and on when they get up. We tell each other goodnight, most nights.

We make plans. We have mutual hobbies-- games, movies, etc. So we'll play games together (sharing a virtual space can make us feel like we're closer than we are). Similarly, we do TTRPG stuff over voice chats. There are services that allow you to watch the same movie simultaneously, so we'll do that every so often. We do creative stuff together, work on projects together.

But-- we still don't feel the need to do EVERYTHING together, and accept the little bit of possible FOMO that may come with that. That's just true of any healthy relationship, really. But we very actively make time for each other and seek each other out when we have free time.

The physical side is harder and frustrating, but in a way that only makes me miss and want to be near them more. We take pictures to send to each other, we sext/rp and talk about various fantasies and things we want to try together. Just very recently we tried something of a private cam show, to... extreme success.

But here's the thing-- I've tried to keep up long distance relationships that inevitably failed. We may have thought we were in love. We were not. It wasn't sustainable. And you can't brute force all the things I just talked about-- either you want to give each other your time and attention, or you don't. Or it's one-sided. Relationships are like, a ratio of Feeling:Effort. Your feelings should match your effort.

I'm not sure if long-distance relationships are viable... indefinitely. Because people change, needs change, circumstances change. I'm not sure if any amount of adaptability can overcome that. But I hate the idea that all long-distance relationships are doomed to fail, or are always brief and cut short. My partner and I were long-distance friends before we were long-distance lovers, and we'll be this way for a while longer. In essence, we've been together for over 4 years, but only official for 1. I think we'll manage!