Ok...I want to know why is it that most guys(and some chicks)just want sex..no relationship,just sex?And why is it that alot of people dont take commitment to some one seriously?-I cant tell you how many guys just want to fuck me and thats it...and how many guys have girlfriends and hit on me.I usually call them on it..like hellooo you have a girlfriend and they usually say so?!Whats up with that?And its not just me..Ive talked to alot of people that have gone through the same thing or know people that are like that.I was raised that if your with someone then thats the only person your with.
why is it so many people these days dont take being with someone seriously?
09/27/2011
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I don't see this as any different than it ever was. If one is looking for only sex, one will find only sex. If one is looking for something more, one will find that BY weeding out the men who are not truely interested in you as a person. Men are no different than they were 20 years ago, 100 years ago, or 1000 years ago.
My dating days were decades ago, and there were, of course, men who only "wanted to fuck me" then, too. If that's all I wanted, then that would be ALL I got from them. One can't have a Booty Call and then think, "Why doesn't he want more?" The men I was serious about, uh, I took more seriously and sex was more of a big deal and actually took longer to get to.
Two of our children are now dating, and both have found partners that want more than sex (they are both young women) But, they also had to make it clear what was wanted, and to really DATE in a way that wasn't confused with just hooking up.
I don't think it's any different than it ever was. A man who only wants sex will think YOU only want sex if that's what you expect from him and only what you accept from him. Why would he think any different?
A lot of times you get the kind of guys that you throw out signals to. If your signals are not clear or understandable, or if you expect a Hook Up to turn into something more permanent, maybe change not only your expectations, but the kind of man you are dating and where you are meeting them. Chances are you won't meet a life partner at a bar or club. That's just my experience, and many women I have talked to, though.
My dating days were decades ago, and there were, of course, men who only "wanted to fuck me" then, too. If that's all I wanted, then that would be ALL I got from them. One can't have a Booty Call and then think, "Why doesn't he want more?" The men I was serious about, uh, I took more seriously and sex was more of a big deal and actually took longer to get to.
Two of our children are now dating, and both have found partners that want more than sex (they are both young women) But, they also had to make it clear what was wanted, and to really DATE in a way that wasn't confused with just hooking up.
I don't think it's any different than it ever was. A man who only wants sex will think YOU only want sex if that's what you expect from him and only what you accept from him. Why would he think any different?
A lot of times you get the kind of guys that you throw out signals to. If your signals are not clear or understandable, or if you expect a Hook Up to turn into something more permanent, maybe change not only your expectations, but the kind of man you are dating and where you are meeting them. Chances are you won't meet a life partner at a bar or club. That's just my experience, and many women I have talked to, though.
09/27/2011
An encouraged attitude of using people for selfish reasons, not to mention not wanting to get involved with 'drama', 'emotional investment', and 'spending money'. It's an extremely cheap form of prostitution as well. At least prostitutes get paid for delivering a service - the anti-relationship types want the same service without paying for it.
I find people with these attitudes to be very juvenile and rather trashy. They are not worth having a committed relationship with. Finding a better class of partner really helps in avoiding those types.
I find people with these attitudes to be very juvenile and rather trashy. They are not worth having a committed relationship with. Finding a better class of partner really helps in avoiding those types.
09/27/2011
Also, how do you respond when your friend's men hit on you? If you act flattered, laugh or, jeez, take them up on it, what is he to think? If you make it clear to them that you NEVER hook up with men who are already in relationships, that kind of attention decreases a lot.
Believe me, when I was dating there were plenty of my friend's boyfriends who hit on me. They were JERKS. I'd read them the riot act and make sure the women knew what had happened (before the guy went and told her I was to blame for something that never happened.) I never acted flattered nor did I tease or do anything other than to let them know their behavior was unacceptable.
Believe me, when I was dating there were plenty of my friend's boyfriends who hit on me. They were JERKS. I'd read them the riot act and make sure the women knew what had happened (before the guy went and told her I was to blame for something that never happened.) I never acted flattered nor did I tease or do anything other than to let them know their behavior was unacceptable.
09/27/2011
If you want monogamy, and you expect monogamy in return, then you have to make that clear from the get-go. There's nothing "wrong," per se, in a sex life that doesn't involve commitment, as long as it's what you want and you're being safe. (Not that you have to demand a commitment right away, but saying something like, "If we date and this gets serious, I will expect this to be exclusive.")
I had a friend who told me once, while she had a FWB that was not single, that she wasn't invested in him and she didn't want a commitment from him, what went on between him and his girlfriend had nothing to do with her. To each her own, I guess.
As for guys who hit on you who have girlfriends, if you're not interested, reject them. If it repulses you that they're doing this, then they're not the guy for you anyway. You also don't know the dynamics of their relationship, what if they're a poly couple? If you want nothing to do with that, that's OK, but if poly works for them, then it's not your place to judge.
I had a friend who told me once, while she had a FWB that was not single, that she wasn't invested in him and she didn't want a commitment from him, what went on between him and his girlfriend had nothing to do with her. To each her own, I guess.
As for guys who hit on you who have girlfriends, if you're not interested, reject them. If it repulses you that they're doing this, then they're not the guy for you anyway. You also don't know the dynamics of their relationship, what if they're a poly couple? If you want nothing to do with that, that's OK, but if poly works for them, then it's not your place to judge.
09/27/2011
Quote:
I agree completely..I make it very clear and ive never had a friends bf hit on me but guys I no have gf's.I usually lecture them about it and try to make them feel bad but it doesnt work
Originally posted by
P'Gell
Also, how do you respond when your friend's men hit on you? If you act flattered, laugh or, jeez, take them up on it, what is he to think? If you make it clear to them that you NEVER hook up with men who are already in relationships, that kind of
...
more
Also, how do you respond when your friend's men hit on you? If you act flattered, laugh or, jeez, take them up on it, what is he to think? If you make it clear to them that you NEVER hook up with men who are already in relationships, that kind of attention decreases a lot.
Believe me, when I was dating there were plenty of my friend's boyfriends who hit on me. They were JERKS. I'd read them the riot act and make sure the women knew what had happened (before the guy went and told her I was to blame for something that never happened.) I never acted flattered nor did I tease or do anything other than to let them know their behavior was unacceptable. less
Believe me, when I was dating there were plenty of my friend's boyfriends who hit on me. They were JERKS. I'd read them the riot act and make sure the women knew what had happened (before the guy went and told her I was to blame for something that never happened.) I never acted flattered nor did I tease or do anything other than to let them know their behavior was unacceptable. less
09/27/2011
Quote:
I agree but even if it is a poly couple personally id feel wrong.Im just saying i think over the years commitment isnt valued anymore
Originally posted by
BBW Talks Toys
If you want monogamy, and you expect monogamy in return, then you have to make that clear from the get-go. There's nothing "wrong," per se, in a sex life that doesn't involve commitment, as long as it's what you want and
...
more
If you want monogamy, and you expect monogamy in return, then you have to make that clear from the get-go. There's nothing "wrong," per se, in a sex life that doesn't involve commitment, as long as it's what you want and you're being safe. (Not that you have to demand a commitment right away, but saying something like, "If we date and this gets serious, I will expect this to be exclusive.")
I had a friend who told me once, while she had a FWB that was not single, that she wasn't invested in him and she didn't want a commitment from him, what went on between him and his girlfriend had nothing to do with her. To each her own, I guess.
As for guys who hit on you who have girlfriends, if you're not interested, reject them. If it repulses you that they're doing this, then they're not the guy for you anyway. You also don't know the dynamics of their relationship, what if they're a poly couple? If you want nothing to do with that, that's OK, but if poly works for them, then it's not your place to judge. less
I had a friend who told me once, while she had a FWB that was not single, that she wasn't invested in him and she didn't want a commitment from him, what went on between him and his girlfriend had nothing to do with her. To each her own, I guess.
As for guys who hit on you who have girlfriends, if you're not interested, reject them. If it repulses you that they're doing this, then they're not the guy for you anyway. You also don't know the dynamics of their relationship, what if they're a poly couple? If you want nothing to do with that, that's OK, but if poly works for them, then it's not your place to judge. less
09/27/2011
Quote:
I guess thats true.. maybe Im just noticing it more now that im single and older and am looking for someone.In the beginning of singlehood I wanted just fuck friends but now I want stability and commitment back.idk...Im not even technically with someone but like him alot and would feel wrong sleeping with someone else.
Originally posted by
P'Gell
I don't see this as any different than it ever was. If one is looking for only sex, one will find only sex. If one is looking for something more, one will find that BY weeding out the men who are not truely interested in you as a person. Men are
...
more
I don't see this as any different than it ever was. If one is looking for only sex, one will find only sex. If one is looking for something more, one will find that BY weeding out the men who are not truely interested in you as a person. Men are no different than they were 20 years ago, 100 years ago, or 1000 years ago.
My dating days were decades ago, and there were, of course, men who only "wanted to fuck me" then, too. If that's all I wanted, then that would be ALL I got from them. One can't have a Booty Call and then think, "Why doesn't he want more?" The men I was serious about, uh, I took more seriously and sex was more of a big deal and actually took longer to get to.
Two of our children are now dating, and both have found partners that want more than sex (they are both young women) But, they also had to make it clear what was wanted, and to really DATE in a way that wasn't confused with just hooking up.
I don't think it's any different than it ever was. A man who only wants sex will think YOU only want sex if that's what you expect from him and only what you accept from him. Why would he think any different?
A lot of times you get the kind of guys that you throw out signals to. If your signals are not clear or understandable, or if you expect a Hook Up to turn into something more permanent, maybe change not only your expectations, but the kind of man you are dating and where you are meeting them. Chances are you won't meet a life partner at a bar or club. That's just my experience, and many women I have talked to, though. less
My dating days were decades ago, and there were, of course, men who only "wanted to fuck me" then, too. If that's all I wanted, then that would be ALL I got from them. One can't have a Booty Call and then think, "Why doesn't he want more?" The men I was serious about, uh, I took more seriously and sex was more of a big deal and actually took longer to get to.
Two of our children are now dating, and both have found partners that want more than sex (they are both young women) But, they also had to make it clear what was wanted, and to really DATE in a way that wasn't confused with just hooking up.
I don't think it's any different than it ever was. A man who only wants sex will think YOU only want sex if that's what you expect from him and only what you accept from him. Why would he think any different?
A lot of times you get the kind of guys that you throw out signals to. If your signals are not clear or understandable, or if you expect a Hook Up to turn into something more permanent, maybe change not only your expectations, but the kind of man you are dating and where you are meeting them. Chances are you won't meet a life partner at a bar or club. That's just my experience, and many women I have talked to, though. less
09/27/2011
I could not tell you. I have been with my wife for almost 18 years. No one else but her.
09/29/2011
Can't talk for the US, but over here it just seems to be the way the generations are turning.
Not everyone wants to be tied down to one person for life. A lot of people don't mind a serious relationship, but just don't want to get married and I for one can totally understand that!
If you go through things and see people very close to you go through unpleasant situations, it has an effect on ya.
Personally, I think it's wise for a couple not to want to marry or get seriously involved if even one of them knows they can't stick to it.
Not everyone wants to be tied down to one person for life. A lot of people don't mind a serious relationship, but just don't want to get married and I for one can totally understand that!
If you go through things and see people very close to you go through unpleasant situations, it has an effect on ya.
Personally, I think it's wise for a couple not to want to marry or get seriously involved if even one of them knows they can't stick to it.
09/29/2011
Total posts: 10
Unique posters: 6