Would you be turned off by someone who was 22 and never been on a date or been kissed? - from Em and Lo

Would you be turned off by someone who was 22 and never been on a date or been kissed? - from Em and Lo

Em & Lo Em & Lo
A guy wrote to us at EMandLO.com this week saying that he's never had any luck in the dating department and now finds himself in college, age 22, and has never been on a date or been kissed. (You can read his full letter here.) He wanted to know if this would be a turn-off to women, if they would find it weird that he'd had zero experience. So, what do you think? And does it make a difference if the inexperienced 22-year-old is male or female? We tend to think it does -- if you agree, why do you think there's this double standard?
08/23/2011
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Wild Orchid Wild Orchid
I'm in the same situation as the guy who wrote that letter. I would prefer my first partner to have more experience but I wouldn't make a deal-breaker out of inexperience. There are many, many things more important than that. In fact, if I met a complete virgin, who had similar life story and outlook on sex as me, we could have a fantastic time together. But the problem is that people like me don't have relationships 'cause they don't initiate anything.
08/23/2011
Booktease Booktease
Quote:
Originally posted by Em & Lo
A guy wrote to us at EMandLO.com this week saying that he's never had any luck in the dating department and now finds himself in college, age 22, and has never been on a date or been kissed. (You can read his full letter here.) He wanted to know ...
Interesting! Personally, I wouldn't care. But I know women who would.
08/23/2011
aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
if he was attractive to me, i would be mind-boggled, but also tsk-tsking those poor women who obviously missed out. if he was unattractive to me, then i could see the reason for this.

to be clear, attraction for me personally has about 80% to do with personality and 20% to do with looks. if he's intelligent, caring, funny, and balances out MY craziness, it makes him so much more physically attractive to me. and in the moments where he turns into a big jerk, i see him as ugly.

08/23/2011
JessCee JessCee
Quote:
Originally posted by aliceinthehole
if he was attractive to me, i would be mind-boggled, but also tsk-tsking those poor women who obviously missed out. if he was unattractive to me, then i could see the reason for this.

to be clear, attraction for me personally has about 80% to ...
this. this. this. and THIS!

But I know a lot of women who would be turned off by that.

And I do think there is some kind of double standard... definitely in favor of the women.
08/23/2011
Antipova Antipova
Hm. This question is loaded for me. It depends if it was going to be a long-term or short-term relatioinship, and how comfortable the guy was with me and my history (quite the opposite of no experience.)

I went to school for engineering, so just by virtue of the 8:1 male:female ratio of most of my classes (that is, ignore the fact that the "typical" girl is less tolerant of nerdiness/bookwormishn ess than I am), a lot of my partners, I was their first sexual experience. I've always been cool with that, it's fun to be a positive influence on somebody's life. However, most of those partners were medium-term, semi-casual relationships. And I always made sure my partner knew my history before we became partners.

So the reason I'm hesitant now, and hesitant to embark on a long term relationship with someone with no experience, is that I started dating a guy who didn't have prior experience, and because he met me through a coworker instead of school friends... anyway, while he said he was ok with my history, he actually never was accepting, and resented me a lot, and wound up convincing me to drop all my platonic friends because of his jealousy. It was so frustrating, because everything else about that relationship was great... but ... the result of our mismatch was really damaging to me. Tell they guy who wrote in that he should make sure he won't resent a partner's history, if she has one, before starting a relationship with her.

One line answer: I'd be okay with him if he'd be okay with me!
08/23/2011
GravyCakes GravyCakes
that wouldn't bother me at all. if he has a decent personality & i'm physically attracted to him, then i'm ok. i'll teach him everything else.
08/23/2011
catgirl9 catgirl9
It wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, I'd think it's kind of cool.
08/23/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Yeah they wouldn't do much for me. I like guys to be older then me and expect them to know their stuff. I don't want to have to teach someone!
08/23/2011
sktb0007 sktb0007
I think it'd be attractive to be honest. I would like being the teacher! As long as he was okay that I had experience and didn't get all resentful like another person had mentioned, than I am more than okay with it. I'd prefer that then a guy with SO much experience.
08/23/2011
cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
First of all I am 23 and would want someone older than me, so 22 wouldn't get close to me in that way unless I knew him really well for a long time. Anyways...


The short answer for me is it depends on how I feel attracted to him in the first place: his vibe, demeanor and if he is an open person who is willing to explore (and get corrupted ).

Then again, for a guy to be lucky enough to land a date with me he would already have to have the above qualities (open and good vibe, attractive to me), so I guess my answer would be no!

I won't even go into the double standards right now because I am super tired... *makes note to come back here tomorrow*
08/23/2011
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I was 18, and had never been kissed or on a date. So I wouldn't be very turned off by it
09/03/2011
Badass Badass
psh, i would love it. i know fo sho he is STD free, no sending him to the clinic before whoopie
02/14/2012
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 13