The New Intimacy

Would you ever date a close friend's sibling?

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Contributor: Do-Re-Mi Do-Re-Mi
I was spending some time with a close friend today and her younger brother (only about a year and a half younger than us) was there too. Now her brother is a very, VERY shy person who hardly talks to anyone but whenever I'm around his mouth runs like crazy and her mom said he was even cleaning before I came over, which he apparently never does. Her mom and her always joke around that he has a crush on me. When I was leaving we were talking about the situation and she said that him being with me would be ideal cause I'm everything she wants in a sister-in-law.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. He's a handsome guy and really nice but I've always just thought of him as my best friends little brother. Plus if it didn't end up working out I wouldn't want the relationship I have with their whole family to be gone.

Would you ever date a close friend's sibling? Have you ever dated a close friend's sibling? If so, did it turn out well?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Yes I have and it turned out wonderful
karay123 , Ghost , Subbi
3  (8%)
Yes I have and it was terrible
PeaceToTheMiddleEast
1  (3%)
No I haven't, but I would
deltalima , Ryuson , SMichelle , BadassFatass , Breas , lacybutton , Missmarc , Stinkytofu10 , eggiweg , Adriana Ravenlust , aliceinthehole , Beck , unfulfilled , ConnerJay , potstickers , Lummox , mpfm
17  (46%)
No I haven't and I won't
padmeamidala , Tagmstr , Beneath The Bed , November , Anjulie , Masokisti , Katelyn , T&A1987 , darthkitt3n , Hallmar82 , married with children
11  (30%)
Other
In Between Soliloquies , El-Jaro , kawigrl , tortilla , woodsdragon
5  (14%)
Total votes: 37
Poll is closed
01/03/2012
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Contributor: deltalima deltalima
I would be weary but if there is some connection there, mutually then I would.
01/03/2012
Contributor: Wildchild Wildchild
Quote:
Originally posted by Do-Re-Mi
I was spending some time with a close friend today and her younger brother (only about a year and a half younger than us) was there too. Now her brother is a very, VERY shy person who hardly talks to anyone but whenever I'm around his mouth runs ... more
Life's short live for the moment.
01/03/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Good thing to think of how it would affect your and your friend's relationship if it doesn't work out or eventually ends.

It's pretty much the same as dating at work - there is risk involved, and it's difficult to tell what the end result will be either way. This is pretty much one of those go-with-your-gut things, and both of you being mature about it.

Something you didn't address is how much the attraction is mutual. There's a difference between 'nice guy who's my friend's little brother' and 'I really want to know more about him'.

Also there's the problem of ages, as your profile states you are 18-years-old, and there are ill-defined vague laws in relation to people that close in age (17/18) having a relationship (especially if it turns sexual). I really don't think there's a problem in that regard, really, as long as you two are mature about it.

So, again, it's an intuition call. Good luck.
01/03/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
I'm very close friends with two siblings, one is two years younger than me (the boy) and one is four years younger than me (the girl.) I essentially didn't ever date him because she KNOWS that I always have liked him better and it really hurts her. She always wanted to be closer to me, but I mainly slept over with her to spend time with her brother. If I expressed being attracted to him or tried to go out with him it would have really hurt her. Now we're just very close friends, but I'm trying to have a relationship with him independent of my relationship with his sister.

What I'm saying is that you should ask your best friend how she feels about the situation. My main concern would be making her uncomfortable.
01/03/2012
Contributor: SMichelle SMichelle
I would date a close friends sibling, but I would need to first make sure that my friend was okay with this.
01/03/2012
Contributor: In Between Soliloquies In Between Soliloquies
I selected "Other" because I have dated a friend's sibling, but it turned out neither terrible nor wonderful. Instead, it was just awkward. Where normally one would discuss relationship things with a close friend, I felt like I couldn't do that because it was her brother. She was really open and cool about it (even asking details about sex and everything), but I think with the majority of people, it would just be uncomfortable.

And then, there would be the obvious intrusion on the relationship(s) with the rest of the family. When you and your friend or partner are fighting, the other person is caught in the middle. Heaven forbid there be some sort of dishonesty/betrayal/di sloyalty, it's hard to compartmentalize and be objective.

Now, some people are really okay with it and able to separate the relationships so that one doesn't affect the other. Sometimes two brothers will date a pair of sisters, or whatever. But it's not always easy!
01/03/2012
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I've done this twice actually, with mixed results.

The first time was in HS with a girl who was pretty much my sister (we grew up together). It didn't really even get off the ground, but things ended up ok.

Another time wasn't so good. It's effected the relationship with the friends, but we still keep in touch.
01/03/2012
Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
If I really had feeling for the person, I'd give it a try. I don't like wondering if I'm missing out on something awesome.
01/03/2012
Contributor: kawigrl kawigrl
maybe
01/03/2012
Contributor: karay123 karay123
I'm answering this for my husband. While he & I were friends, he was really close with my brother (which is how I met him). So I say Yes!
01/03/2012
Contributor: Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by Do-Re-Mi
I was spending some time with a close friend today and her younger brother (only about a year and a half younger than us) was there too. Now her brother is a very, VERY shy person who hardly talks to anyone but whenever I'm around his mouth runs ... more
I would.
01/03/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Possibly, as long as you separate the friendship with the relationship to the sibling.
01/03/2012
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I have and it did not work out. I am still best friends with my friend tho, but she knew how her brother was and told me I was to good for him,but you know you give everyone a shot one time.
01/03/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
I never had, but if there was a mutual attraction there, I'd give it a try. I would maintain two different relationships with the friend and the sibling.
01/04/2012
Contributor: Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Even though my friend and I would have probably been okay with it if I had, I am glad I didn't. We've grown apart over the years and now aren't that close anymore. Plus, there are plenty of fish in the sea...
01/04/2012
Contributor: woodsdragon woodsdragon
I would want to be be mindful of my friend and his/her feelings and I wouldn't want to ruin that relationship. But if a connection is there then it might be worth it
10/31/2012