The New Intimacy

Above the Waist Girlfriend? Advice Please

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Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Hello all,

This is something that I've been wondering about for a while.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months and other than emotional bond we have and me using toys on her...thats pretty much it with sex. We're both bi and we both have sex with my husband (we're poly).
Shes uncomfortable going down on anyone (men or women) and when it comes to using toys on me she's so awkward and uncomfortable with it I just have to stop because it makes me feel like she dreads even thinking about having sex with me.

I'm not sure what to do about this or where to go with it. We've talked about our lack of sex life (we haven't had sex since before December) and she blames it on stress but I think its that she really just isn't wanting to have sex with me.
I will add that though she does have sex with my husband, its very rare as she's hardly ever in the mood.

Does anyone have any advice for me?
Have you ever known someone who says they like girls and guys but doesn't seem to be into having sex with girls?
03/20/2013
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Contributor: MrWood MrWood
Quote:
Originally posted by SmutGeek
Hello all,

This is something that I've been wondering about for a while.
My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months and other than emotional bond we have and me using toys on her...thats pretty much it with sex. We're both ... more
I may be totally off base, I apologize if I am. But it sounds to me like she is probably not bi, but is actually just playing the role to be with your husband. I would certainly be wondering if her actual motive is to become the wife. As far as the sex goes, if she is giving it to your husband and not you, red flags are going off in my head.

Just saying I would be wondering what her motives are, and that a serious talk should be taking place with all three of you. How does your husband feel about her not wanting to have sex with you?
03/22/2013
Contributor: KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
I like being with girls, but I won't perform oral on them. So, I can kind of relate to the girl. However, it seems like she is taking it more to the extreme. I wish I had some better advice than you need to talk to her. :-( Best of luck!
03/22/2013
Contributor: jr2012 jr2012
Does she have depression or some other mental health problem? Even mild depression can lower sex drive. Not to mention it's a side effect of lots of different types of drugs (mental-related or otherwise...think birth control pills too). It may not be you, or even her. It's worth checking out.

Wishing you lots of good luck!
03/22/2013
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
Well everyone, thank you so much for posting but its all come out finally

She and I broke up - she was never sexually attracted to me and just wanted to be with my husband.

Thats girlfriend #4 who has done this to me...my self-esteem is just rocking out right now /sarcasm

thank you all for your posts...I really appreciate it.
04/05/2013
Contributor: doowop doowop
I'm sorry this happened to you.
04/05/2013