The New Intimacy

Bonding with the parents

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Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
My father and I have brunch together every weekend, and no one else is allowed to join us. My girlfriend has recently been asking to come along because she wants to bond with my father. I just don't know what kind of activity I can do with both of them. I am lucky that both of my parents accept my sexuality and welcome her into their lives, but I want to bring her out of her shell.

Me: Lesbian, college student,

Girlfriend: Engineer, butch, not very talkative, Chinese international student (I've never met her parents) with a bit of a language barrier, enjoys sports and learning about new cultures. Does not like talking to men in general but says she likes and respects my father.

Dad: Doctor, loner, enjoys old movies, photography, cats, and food.

So...I'm thinking something involving a movie (both of them like subtitles, to help with her language comprehension and his hearing), and food. I don't think anyone here knows my family, but I need some fresh ideas from a third person. These things are awkward, so any tips would be really helpful.
04/03/2011
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Contributor: markeagleone markeagleone
Try an outdoor activity, such as a cookout. It gives ample space so noone feels cornered.
04/03/2011
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
I would say try something where there is an activity so that there is less pressure on the conversation and it can give you something to talk about and be very lighthearted. A movie would be good. Maybe something like bowling could be fun? I don't know much about their likes and dislikes.
04/03/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Oh yes those are awkward. I've always hated meeting parents. I think maybe something that is causal and something that wouldn't be cause for deep personal talk would be a good idea. A movie sounds good. Your dad loves cats? How cool! I love cats too. When I met my partner's dad, we were all having a few drinks. It went well and that's a good idea for being less tense, but only if all parties are into drinking a little. Somewhere with a lot of activity could work, that's what I'd prefer if I were meeting parents. I'm a very nervous person so with a lot of activity around, it can be a good way to avoid awkward things like the awkward silence.
04/16/2011
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Quote:
Originally posted by Eden C.
My father and I have brunch together every weekend, and no one else is allowed to join us. My girlfriend has recently been asking to come along because she wants to bond with my father. I just don't know what kind of activity I can do with both ... more
Another activity would be a better idea
04/16/2011