Boosting Confidence...

The New Intimacy

Boosting Confidence...

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Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Let me start by saying, I’m a fairly confident person, however, my partner isn’t so confident. When we first started dating I thought she was just trying to stroke my ego, but now that we have been together for some time now, I know that isn’t the case. I'm almost 100% sure that her lack of confidence in life stems from certain events in her childhood. In an attempt to combat her lack of confidence, with every new experience we share, I try to make it a fun and positive one. I’ve also done this with several of the activities I enjoy. So far, it seems to be working, but, I want her to take over and do this herself.

My question for the community is this, how do I encourage her to become more confident in herself, her abilities and in life?

Also, I've been told that I'm really laid back person. I would describe myself as someone who only worries about the things I can control. My partner is the exact opposite. She will be "concerned" about everything, not literally but figuratively speaking. Does this also factor into a person's confidence?
03/10/2015
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Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
This can often be very challenging for a more confident person to cope with and understand. I commend you for making all of these efforts to help break her gently out of her shell.

I believe you are on the right path by moving slowly for her. Give her praise often without it being over the top. As you are encouraging her confidence, tell her how much she turns you on when she happens to take more independent actions. When she takes control of a situation, give her praise there as well. Eventually she will begin to believe in herself.

If you happen to notice others in a room noticing her, mention it to her lightly. Say something like, "you have captured the eye of several in the room this evening, you are simply lovely". It's a beautiful compliment but not too much pressure for her.

Remind her from time to time how lucky YOU are that she chose you to share her life with It's all the little things that will continue to help build her up. She needs to know how lucky you feel to have her on top of it all.

I think if you make her feel like she is a queen, above all else in this world, eventually she will believe it. I know I did I was a lot like your sweet, shy and unconfident girl. Believe it or not. Then my husband got his hands on me and helped to fix me little by little
03/10/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
This can often be very challenging for a more confident person to cope with and understand. I commend you for making all of these efforts to help break her gently out of her shell.

I believe you are on the right path by moving slowly for her. ... more
Confidence is Sexy!
03/10/2015
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
Confidence is Sexy!
Sometimes it takes the right guy to help a girl get there. I think you will be able to do that for her. She is going to blossom like a butterfly and turn into a super confident vixen!
03/10/2015
Contributor: symbiasin symbiasin
I had a very poor self image, until I ran into several people who told me the exact opposite of what I had been led to think about myself. At first any flattery is a smile making boost. I wasn't really so sure about their sincerity, until I ran across a beautiful picture of myself! I wanted to wave it under my exes nose....'SEE?' (We're not talking Miss Universe here, but so vastly different than what I had been told), so flatter away. It really helps.
03/11/2015
Contributor: Raymaker Raymaker
This kind of thing is a really slow process and there's no one answer. In general, I really recommend being around people who look like you, even the features/shapes you hate about yourself, or exposing yourself to a lot of it online where people post outfits of the day and selfies. The more you see yourself in other people you admire, the easier it is to feel a natural confidence.
08/29/2015