The New Intimacy

Dear Eden, I need help

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Contributor: Curious Cloud Curious Cloud
After 6 years together and 3yrs living together, my guy is moving out. Im heart broken, and dont know what to do. someone please help.

I need a friend to talk to, hes my best friend, and now i have no one to talk to.
02/21/2011
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Contributor: markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by Curious Cloud
After 6 years together and 3yrs living together, my guy is moving out. Im heart broken, and dont know what to do. someone please help.

I need a friend to talk to, hes my best friend, and now i have no one to talk to.
I would like to say to you that you do have friends here. I know from first hand that you will get through it and go on to better things. Life has many changes through the years. Some are hard, but as one looks back, they are usually for the better.
02/21/2011
Contributor: Lucidity Lucidity
Quote:
Originally posted by Curious Cloud
After 6 years together and 3yrs living together, my guy is moving out. Im heart broken, and dont know what to do. someone please help.

I need a friend to talk to, hes my best friend, and now i have no one to talk to.
I second that you have friends here. Hell, you have a whole friggin' community.

I'm so sorry, most of us have been there. It will take time but you will be OK and we are here for you.
02/21/2011
Contributor: PussyGalore PussyGalore
Send me an email, I'll be happy to help. mrs kitty galore @ g mail . com
02/21/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I'm so sorry to hear about this. You do definitely have friends here, and a whole community willing to help you.

If you ever need an ear, I'm here to talk too.
02/21/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
I can't imagine what you are going through right now and my heart goes out to you. You're definitely amongst friends with Eden. Send me a message if I can help, and try to remember that this too shall pass and you will be better and stronger for this experience. *hug*
02/21/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Curious Cloud
After 6 years together and 3yrs living together, my guy is moving out. Im heart broken, and dont know what to do. someone please help.

I need a friend to talk to, hes my best friend, and now i have no one to talk to.
Just try to keep in mind that as much as it hurts now, whenever one door closes one more opens. Sorry hun
02/21/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
I'm so terribly sorry, and I can only imagine how confused and upset you feel.
You really do have friends, even if you haven't talked to a lot of us, we're all open and willing to help you. Like all other comments, you can inbox me at anytime and we can talk things out.
02/21/2011
Contributor: Curious Cloud Curious Cloud
I cant imagine life without him, we have done everything togehter, he says he still loves me and were not breaking up, he just needs to move out.

Ive been unemployed for a few months, had a few dry weeks with money, and hes helped. Ive never asked him, other than when we needed food. But he blew up saying he couldn't do it anymore, hes moving out, i have to find a new roommate, and hes done.

I know hes been stressed because his "newly fixed car" is not fixed, the new motor is crap, so hes stressed for money, but he keeps brining up that I owe him all that money.

I know that I do, but I cant pay it back when I dont have enough to cover bills, I dont know what to do.

Rent is due next month, and honestly i have nothing, ive started 2 new jobs but hte pay wont be here in time for rent, and my landlord is tired of me paying late. or in chuncks.

Im an honest to goodness great person, Im always cheerful and try to do see the best in life, but right now, Im at the point where i cant even think about tomorrow, i cant think about living anymore.

I wont kill myself because im afraid of going to hell, and I dont want to hurt other people that love me in my life.

but im at the point where I just want to give up.
He was my glue that was keeping me sane.
02/21/2011
Contributor: CSEA CSEA
Everyone here has been through their ups and downs (if I say so myself) We are here to help you and offer company and support whenever needed. Question, does he know where he is moving? Close or far? ITs tough especially being together so long and having him along side. He's your icing on the cupcake :/. The best thing is tell and show him how much you appreciate everything he has done. As it sounds like it, hes a good guy and you gotta grab the reins and keep yourselves connected, emotionally. Financial issues are the most common problems with couples/marriages. Make sure you give sometime to bond, and talk about anything that may be stressing him as well. We wish you the best! And I am here for you !
02/21/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
If he can hurt you than he's not even worth worrying about. Dont let him have power over you, be strong. We're here for you.
02/25/2011
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Curious Cloud
I cant imagine life without him, we have done everything togehter, he says he still loves me and were not breaking up, he just needs to move out.

Ive been unemployed for a few months, had a few dry weeks with money, and hes helped. Ive never ... more
When a couple lives together they share the financial responsibilities. As far as his car not being fixed, well he should be going back to the person that "fixed" it and demanding that for all that money he payed they do a proper job.

As far as food and bills are concerned, he lives there also, he eats the food, watches the tv, uses the internet, sleeps under that roof.

Once the bills are paid and everything is stress free is he going to come running back? Is this what he is going to do in the future when you own a home and the bills are WAY higher?

Being a couple is not all sunshine, lollipops and unicorns. You may not like what I am about to say here but if he is just going to up and leave at the first sign of stress what is going to happen further down the road? Maybe this is the universes way of telling you that you can do better.

I know it hurts, and you feel like crap. We have all been there. But you will wake up soon enough one morning and go "wait, I dont need him".

Give yourself the weekend to cry, yell, scream, whatever. Monday is a brand new
week.

Sorry if I sound mean. I dont mean to really. I just want you to have a dose of reality. (I dont sugar coat well, can you tell )

*HUGE HUGS* if you need someone, feel free to inbox me.
02/25/2011
Contributor: sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Curious Cloud
After 6 years together and 3yrs living together, my guy is moving out. Im heart broken, and dont know what to do. someone please help.

I need a friend to talk to, hes my best friend, and now i have no one to talk to.
I am going through the same thing. Im just leaning on friends and knowing that there is a reason for everything in your life that happens. Just hold on and there will be light soon.
02/25/2011
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
Looks like I get to be the one to play asshole again, but I honestly don't blame him. I've been in a relationship where the other person leeched of me financially. Good will only goes so far before it becomes an unbearable burden. It's not fair to the person that's lending the money because then when they need money for something important (in this case his car) they don't have it. And then the lender somehow turns in to the bad guy because they want the money repaid. Nothing can destroy a relationship faster than bad finances. And for all those that are saying he's running away at the first sign of trouble, I say bull shit. From what's been posted, it seems like this has been an ongoing problem, he seems to be making the smart move by removing himself from a toxic situation. Why should his credit suffer because of her irresponsibly.

And yes I know the economy is rough and it can be hard to find jobs, but it's not impossible. McDonald's and Wal-Mart are always hiring. And I'm sure many people are going to scoff at that, but a job is a job. Just because it may not be glamorous or in your field is no excuse. Get a job at MickeyD's and in the meantime polish up your resume and get it out there. At least you'd be bringing money in. There are jobs to be had, people just need to swallow their pride for a moment to see that.
02/25/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Money can be a seriously big thing in relationships and if he DOES still really love you, sit down with him and write out the amount of money you owe him back. Write down every single thing he feels he's owed back. Like Jobthingy said, the groceries.... didn't he eat any of those? Electricity? He didn't turn on a light switch. Tell him you're applying to places A, B, C. Like Oxygen said, it may not be glamorous or in your field, but work that job until you find something better paying. IRS is mass hiring right now, Wal-Mart claims they're hiring but they never hire me, and I hate their damn test, McDonald's, Wendy's, places like that. Check Craigslist for want ads, anything to get some cashflow in.

As for your landlord, they can only be so understanding. I'm not sure about that.
02/25/2011
Contributor: PussyGalore PussyGalore
I'm really sorry that some people have chosen to throw hurtful, unsolicited opinions at you without knowing both sides of the story.

For anyone who cares to pay attention, getting hired at retail/big box/fast food places these days is practically impossible. You have too many new workers looking (and taking) any job they can find and too many experienced workers let go due to budget crisis.

If you were a hiring manager would you pick the 18 year old kid who is going to stay for a year or more or are you going to pick the experienced worker who is just killing time until something more appropriate opens? Almost always the 18 year old - they're easier to train and start at a lower wage than most experienced workers.

As far as him leaving over "money", there are probably some much bigger issues that need to be addressed but if both people aren't willing to work it out, there's no point in wasting anyone's time or breath. Let him go.

At the end of the day, it's just money and what once was lost today can turn into an entirely new, rejuvenating experience in life. I'll spare you the cliches save for one: things happen for a reason.

Keep your head high, your attitude positive and watch the world change around you! Good luck!
02/25/2011