When you and your partner have a fight or are upset with each other how many out there go bed and how many make sure you make ammends before going to sleep?
Do you and your partner go to sleep upset?
01/12/2012
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It really depends on our argument. If it has escalated, we will go to bed mad and maybe stay there for awhile. When we back off, we can work through it and still like each other at bedtime. We might not always like each other, but we do love each other!
01/12/2012
Quote:
Never ever happens
Originally posted by
Tangerine
When you and your partner have a fight or are upset with each other how many out there go bed and how many make sure you make ammends before going to sleep?
01/12/2012
I've never lived with a partner so if there is an argument later in the evening, someones going home. Luckily that tends to diffuse the anger and things are better the next day. If I had to share a bed with someone I'd be more inclined to resolve the argument before that point, or I'd retreat to private quarters for the night.
01/12/2012
We try our very, very best not to. Like js250 said, it really depends on the argument, issue or problem. Sometimes, we'll be able to work it out completely (even if that means staying up till 3 or 4am) the same night. Other times we can't get it completely worked out the same night. At those times, we just rely on our love to get us through till the next day when we can deal with it.
Just like js250 said, sometimes we are feeling like we really don't like each other, but we still love each other. Some problems are just too big, too complicated, etc. to be able to solve in one sitting. But we can at least get to a point of peace, show our love for each other, and hang in there a bit longer. There are times where we have to say "I love you" and then grant each other our space for a bit.
Just like js250 said, sometimes we are feeling like we really don't like each other, but we still love each other. Some problems are just too big, too complicated, etc. to be able to solve in one sitting. But we can at least get to a point of peace, show our love for each other, and hang in there a bit longer. There are times where we have to say "I love you" and then grant each other our space for a bit.
01/12/2012
We try not to fall asleep angry with each other, and if it looks like it will take some time to simmer down we may "go to sleep" in separate rooms and eventually end up back in the bed together later on that same night.
01/12/2012
We try not to, but if it is too late to get things resolved and he has to get up early he will go to sleep angry with me on occasion
01/12/2012
I like to resolve things so I can sleep, hubby likes to let me cool off till morning.
01/15/2012
Quote:
We try to make up before going to bed. It just bothers her too much and it's easier to relax when you aren't worked up.
Originally posted by
Tangerine
When you and your partner have a fight or are upset with each other how many out there go bed and how many make sure you make ammends before going to sleep?
01/15/2012
Quote:
Never, ever! We've made a point since the beginning of our relationship not to ever go to bed angry with each other. This also means we've had quite a few nights where neither slept until 3-4 AM! It was always worth it though. Holding on to hurt, angry feelings can result in resentment and more problems and when things aren't discussed they tend to get pushed further and further back. Bigger problems can be created that way and for us, it's best to get it out quick. I find that when we discuss whatever has upset us quick, it doesn't seem as bad as the times when it's built up.
Originally posted by
Tangerine
When you and your partner have a fight or are upset with each other how many out there go bed and how many make sure you make ammends before going to sleep?
01/15/2012
Prolonging the discussion after I've gotten angry tends to just make me angrier. I need to back off and get a clear head before it can be talked through rationally, which usually means sleeping on it.
01/15/2012
We try to make it a point to not go to bed angry, if we have that goal it usually helps us be less stubborn and work on the problem together.
01/16/2012
The advice to never go to sleep angry is the worst advice ever. Pushing issues, not letting it go, not giving time to calm down... those are all a recipe for a disastrous fight that would end up worse. So yea, we have gone to bed with unresolved issues, and most often, in the morning that are no longer issues at all.
01/16/2012
LaUr3n, Agree to go to bed with unresolved issues, but I think they're asking about angry. In my eyes there is a difference, we have ongoing unresolved issues but make it a point to not be "angry" when saying goodnight. I think harboring ill will is bad, that can create a divide over time, resentment is a relationship killer.
01/16/2012
Grim
We never go to bed angry. I feel like the longer you stay angry at someone, the harder it is to work it out eventually. We might go to bed agreeing to disagree, or knowing that we need to talk about the problem later, but going to bed angry just cements the resentment more.
01/16/2012
It really depends on the issue. Some things we've just left alone and worked on them after we've had more time to think about what we want to say and how we want to say it. I agree that pushing a big issue just to try and solve it before you go to bed can often result in an even larger argument and worse hurt feelings than there would have been to begin with.
01/16/2012
It depends. Some issues can't be solved before bed. Others are just can't be solved. But, love is more and stronger than an argument. If there is something that either of us need to get off our chests, we are both really good at listening.
01/16/2012
No we don't. I can't stand going to bed upset. Even if I'm peeved, I try and resolve things before I go to sleep.
01/17/2012
We rarely get upset with each other, and when we do it's not for very long. We like to resolve our problems instead of letting them stew. It's hard for us to stay mad at each other.
01/17/2012
We try not to go to bed angry, but sometimes it's better to just wait and discuss it later. When we get to the point where we're really angry, it's usually because we're tired and wound up about something, and it doesn't usually help to try and sort things out in that state. We do always let each other know we love each other before going to sleep.
01/18/2012
We sometimes go to bed angry... although nights that I want him to want to hash it out and he goes to sleep without even talking about it, I feel like he doesn't care about it. It's very counterproductive sometimes in that it escalates, but eventually later we talk and make some kind of amends...
01/25/2012
Quote:
You should NEVER go to sleep with negative feelings, they can cement themselves with sleep! (There are some studies on it.) The principal is true both ways though. If you go to sleep feeling positive emotions, they are most likely reinforce in sleep.
Originally posted by
Tangerine
When you and your partner have a fight or are upset with each other how many out there go bed and how many make sure you make ammends before going to sleep?
01/31/2012
we never do, neither of us can fall asleep if we are upset
01/31/2012
We do sometimes go to bed angry. I wish we wouldn't, but most fights tend to start at night and he has to get up early in the mornings.
01/31/2012
We don't go to bed angry - but sometimes I'm a bit frustrated when she's 'not in the mood'. It happens less than it use to - but it still happens.
01/31/2012
with work sometimes its hard to work it out first
01/31/2012
Sometimes we just go to sleep when we're angry and typically forget about it in the morning. If angry we sleep further away from each other (he sometimes comes over to cuddle in the middle of the night anyway), otherwise, if really angry he'll sometimes choose to sleep in the other room.
01/31/2012
Quote:
Agreed. I like the idea of not being mad before bed, but some arguments are not resolvable in short time frames for any number of reasons
Originally posted by
js250
It really depends on our argument. If it has escalated, we will go to bed mad and maybe stay there for awhile. When we back off, we can work through it and still like each other at bedtime. We might not always like each other, but we do love each
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It really depends on our argument. If it has escalated, we will go to bed mad and maybe stay there for awhile. When we back off, we can work through it and still like each other at bedtime. We might not always like each other, but we do love each other!
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02/08/2012
I dont like going to bed upset, we usualy try to work everything out.
02/11/2012
We don't go to bed upset.
02/12/2012
Total posts: 32
Unique posters: 32
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