in marriage? I've realized there is a huge amount of people that stay in long term committed relationships that don't get married because they don't see it necessary. Is that true or just what some people convince themselves since their other half doesn't want to marry? Why do you believe what you believe?
Do you believe in marriage?
10/12/2012
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I don't believe in marriage, at least not in it's current form. I'm a lesbian, so legally, in most states, I can't marry anyone I'd actually be with. But I also have a difficult time, with the divorce rate being what it is, believing that "till death do us part" is something anyone can actually promise. I believe "for the rest of my life" is something that just happens while you're busy living your life and suddenly you get to the end of it and realize you're still with that same person. No one can promise they won't change, circumstances won't change, shit won't happen. I don't think it's really possible to promise that you'll stay with someone for the rest of their life no matter what since you just don't know what could happen. I know for certain that I, at least, can't make that promise and I don't want to try.
Originally posted by
kristina0121
in marriage? I've realized there is a huge amount of people that stay in long term committed relationships that don't get married because they don't see it necessary. Is that true or just what some people convince themselves since their
...
more
in marriage? I've realized there is a huge amount of people that stay in long term committed relationships that don't get married because they don't see it necessary. Is that true or just what some people convince themselves since their other half doesn't want to marry? Why do you believe what you believe?
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10/12/2012
I got married because of the symbolism of it and the benefits that come with being married. I wanted to be able to say "my husband" so that other people would realize the commitment level we had.
All that said, I have to agree with Charletnarouh about the divorce rate being so high that saying your "married" doesn't mean much anymore. People jump in and out of marriages like they're nothing.
I also agree that there's no absolutes in marriage. I love my husband deeply and intend to be with him forever. However, as said, shit can happen. When things get tough I made the promise to work on those issues rather than jump ship. If all the hard work in the world won't save the relationship, then I guess that's how the cookie crumbles. All I can do is the best I can do to keep my marriage together. I know he does the same.
As for the religious portions of marriage, that doesn't really apply to me at all. I got married in a non-denominational ceremony. I tend to think a lot of people who are religious stay in loveless marriages because of the belief in the system. I have family members like this. What a shame to spend your life miserable with someone you don't get along with. So in that sense, I think the idea of staying with someone you don't love and don't get along with because of marriage is not the greatest. Try to work it out? Of course! But if you've done everything you can, don't beat a dead horse.
All that said, I have to agree with Charletnarouh about the divorce rate being so high that saying your "married" doesn't mean much anymore. People jump in and out of marriages like they're nothing.
I also agree that there's no absolutes in marriage. I love my husband deeply and intend to be with him forever. However, as said, shit can happen. When things get tough I made the promise to work on those issues rather than jump ship. If all the hard work in the world won't save the relationship, then I guess that's how the cookie crumbles. All I can do is the best I can do to keep my marriage together. I know he does the same.
As for the religious portions of marriage, that doesn't really apply to me at all. I got married in a non-denominational ceremony. I tend to think a lot of people who are religious stay in loveless marriages because of the belief in the system. I have family members like this. What a shame to spend your life miserable with someone you don't get along with. So in that sense, I think the idea of staying with someone you don't love and don't get along with because of marriage is not the greatest. Try to work it out? Of course! But if you've done everything you can, don't beat a dead horse.
10/12/2012
Quote:
I believe in a personal life time committment to another, but I don't need the state or a church to sanctify it.
Originally posted by
kristina0121
in marriage? I've realized there is a huge amount of people that stay in long term committed relationships that don't get married because they don't see it necessary. Is that true or just what some people convince themselves since their
...
more
in marriage? I've realized there is a huge amount of people that stay in long term committed relationships that don't get married because they don't see it necessary. Is that true or just what some people convince themselves since their other half doesn't want to marry? Why do you believe what you believe?
less
10/12/2012
I'm a little conflicted. While I do realize that there are financial benefits and such that come with being married, and that it is a way to demonstrate your commitment to another person, "forever" doesn't seem realistic. I also dislike the religious connotations.
My parents are divorced, as well as three others in my family (another is waiting to get divorced). My boyfriend's parents are divorced. I am content to remain unmarried for now, especially considering my age.
My parents are divorced, as well as three others in my family (another is waiting to get divorced). My boyfriend's parents are divorced. I am content to remain unmarried for now, especially considering my age.
10/12/2012
I think it matters because it's something to show others you're really serious about each other and it's another way of showing your commitment and love to each other and my family and I are kinda traditional so...
01/24/2013
Yes, I do. Although I believe more in finding the right person to spend my life with. I married the wrong person and stayed with him for near ten years. It was hell on earth because neither of us knew what marriage was. I learned a lot from it, though, and - should I ever decide to marry again - I know what to look for, work on, and what to realistically expect.
01/25/2013
I do. I think there is something admirable in a partnership between people. That being said, it's not for everyone and just because a couple isn't married doesn't mean they don't have that something special.
01/25/2013
Total posts: 8
Unique posters: 8