Do You Consider Online Sex-Roleplaying to be Cheating?

Yes, I hear what you're saying. What I mean is, it's possible that to HIM it's just words, you know? And that could really be all it is, some innocent fun that he doesn't realize might hurt me if I found it. I'm a benefit-of-the-doubt kind of girl. less

*shrugs* I'm not really sure. I think we were both too lazy to create one for me, since we trust one another it wasn't a big deal before. In the snoopy-girl relationship I was talking about before, when she started snooping, he changed all of his passwords and made her her own desktop, so instead of being "Yay my own desktop!" It would feel more like, "What, doesn't he trust me even though I'm not her?" Does that make sense? less

Would it make it worse if since he hasn't responded, I texted him again, saying something to the effect of how I definitely shouldn't have bothered him at work about this, and we can talk later, on the phone or when he gets home... Would that be a nono since I already texted him once...? I just don't know u_u less

Sorry. I was going off memory and man-o-man, some things get mixed up in my brain. I still don't know who it was, but I did realize (when I searched for your threads) that it isn't you. SO SORRY! *shameface*

I still hold to my opinion that this will cause a rift and that the work you both put in will determine if it can be bridged. (It CAN be bridged, it just depends on the work put in.)

Maybe I'm more like Sapphire Storm, but I ALSO would have his balls handed to him (and vice versa) if these discoveries were made in my own relationship. I certainly wouldn't be making a nice dinner for him to come home to. Jus' Sayin'.

Is it because you don't like conflict that you're treading so carefully, or because you don't want to lose him? If he really loves you, he won't leave because you're pissed off about something you have EVERY. RIGHT. to be upset over and are holding him accountable for his actions. And if he DOES leave? Then he doesn't have what it takes to be in an adult, committed relationship. less

EVERYONE READ THIS PLEASE.

This was all just a huge misunderstanding. He told me to go ahead and read them (and because he said to I did), he was actually helping this person with a story! I should not have freaked out. The writer is even a guy. The writer wanted help writing sex from a girl's point of view, and Wolfie just happened to be the one whose male writing style he liked best...

I'm such a twit. I'm sorry to have wasted everyone's time with this. Thank you all so much for your encouragement. You guys are all so amazing. less

*shrugs* I'm not really sure. I think we were both too lazy to create one for me, since we trust one another it wasn't a big deal before. In the snoopy-girl relationship I was talking about before, when she started snooping, he changed all of his passwords and made her her own desktop, so instead of being "Yay my own desktop!" It would feel more like, "What, doesn't he trust me even though I'm not her?" Does that make sense? less

EVERYONE READ THIS PLEASE.

This was all just a huge misunderstanding. He told me to go ahead and read them (and because he said to I did), he was actually helping this person with a story! I should not have freaked out. The writer is even a guy. The writer wanted help writing sex from a girl's point of view, and Wolfie just happened to be the one whose male writing style he liked best...

I'm such a twit. I'm sorry to have wasted everyone's time with this. Thank you all so much for your encouragement. You guys are all so amazing. less

Haha, I think I'll wait to start dinner, I don't want it to burn and he gets home at ten at night! I had that thought too, but because I was trying to be honest and trustworthy, as soon as I realized it wasn't MY message I closed it... I didn't read the whole thing! My best friend is joking that I should have! Hahaha less

I'm making fried chicken! Biscuits, mashed potatoes... Doesn't sound like much, but it's one of our favorite meals :3

I guess it should have. I kinda feel dumb for freaking out ^^;; Well not so much freaking out as feeling bad, but you know. Same idea. less

Hey, when the things we love and cherish are threatened instincts to protect it prevail. You shouldn't feel bad that your emotions for your relationship run so deep as to be hurt by even the slightest thought of impropriety on his part.

And fried chicken is my all time favorite dinner so I can totally stand behind that! Must have gravy and taters and biscuits. Some fresh sliced cucumber and tomato is also really good with it. Give him the biggest kiss in the world when he walks in the door and all will be right as rain! less

I'm so glad this got worked out! I love when awful things turn out to be silly! I remember that when I first told my boyfriend I did a video about a toy he was all "Fuck! You must have been naked! Take it down!" And then when I showed him it he was all "That's so cool! You're a blogger now!"
Communication is key in all relationships! less

Thank you for making me feel valid. Some people I used to go to for advice would just tell me I was being stupid and break up with his ass, no questions asked. Needless to say that's why I love you guys here. You understand everyone's feelings are valid.

Gravy! Knew I was forgetting something! I might have to crack open a jar though, I don't think there will be enough dripping to make some from scratch. And we can totally do the cucumber and tomatoes too! I'm the chef, why is my menu so plain?!

Also, I WISH I could give him a big kiss. But his nose has been broken so many times he can't breathe through a big kiss. I'll just have to think of something else less

Aw, how cute! I have a hard time breathing through my nose sometimes so I understand not being able to do a long kiss or a make-out session.

I make gravy with just a tablespoon or two of drippings and have even made successful batches with fresh oil, flour, salt and pepper. If you need help just send me a PM. I love to cook.

The trick when you don't have enough drippings is to make a slurry instead of a roux based gravy. less

You may think it's cute, but he hates it, poor boy

Actually I almost always use a slurry, it tastes more homey and less like something someone just... bought. You know what I mean? I'll see if I can get drippings but if not, like I said, a jar can be okay once in a while. Fried chicken is hard work! less

So I accidentally stumbled across my boyfriend's Notes on an art site we visit. And I SWEAR on my LIFE, I really did just stumble... I saw there were notes and didn't realize it was him logged in, and not me. I'm not a snoop, and I hate snoopy girls. I'm trembling and almost unable to type this. I hate myself for not noticing the different background color. I really would not like to know what I'm about to tell you all.

My boyfriend of almost two years, with whom I have been completely honest and not been doing this sort of thing since we started dating, has been having internet sex with this girl. And I'm not even angry! I feel cheated on and hurt, and I feel like this means I'm not enough for him. He could always be doing this with me, and not some stranger. He even knows I enjoy it.

I consider our relationship to be long-term; we started out as friend for four years, and now we've been dating for almost two years after that, and in that time we have promised to only see one another romantically and sexually. We love each other, and trust each other completely (or so I thought) and we know things about the other that not even our best friends know. We will be moving in together soon and we have plans for kids and a future together. But now what I feel is a swirling pit of emptiness in my stomach, and my arms and legs are shaky and numb. I've felt this before, and I never thought I would feel it with him.

I logged him off immediately because I don't want to read them, I've already accidentally betrayed his trust when all I wanted to do was: Last night I saw he was writing notes, and I wondered if I had any. So I opened the site this morning and went into what I thought were my notes but were his, opened one, and holy crap. He's doing things with her in text he doesn't do with me and I've asked him to. It just... It really hurts.

So am I overreacting? Is cyber-sex not a form of sex with another person? Or am I right to feel hurt and betrayed like this? And was I wrong to send him this text:

"Okay. You're gonna hate me and think I was snooping. But I swear on my life I wasn't. I accidentally opened your (art site) notes... And I was like... I have notes? I never talk to anyone here... I forgot you were signed in... The color of the background didn't even make me go hey this isn't mine... But now that I've read your last message... I'm feeling a little hurt... I won't read any more of them because they're yours and clearly not mine, but would it be cruel of me to ask you not to do this anymore, my love...? It makes me feel like I'm not enough for you... If you want to roleplay, you always, always have me... *looks down and fidgets and bites her lip to stop it trembling* "

Please someone talk to me. I'm home alone in our apartment and feeling kinda betrayed. less

You make an incredibly valid point! However, this is his computer on which I unfortunately have no desktop of my own, so early on we agreed that even though we COULD access one another's stuff, we WOULDN'T. So not only am I feeling betrayed, but crushed that I accidentally betrayed HIS trust. And just to be clear one more time, BBW was thinking of someone else when she said that. Wolfie has never ever breached my privacy in such a blatant manner.

I've decided not to text him again unless he replies, and THEN I will tell him I shouldn't have texted at work, and we can talk about it later in person. I do plan to make it abundantly clear whenever that text does happen, that I'm not angry and he shouldn't be afraid, he worries and hates having people mad at him, and I'm just not mad. less

Sorry. I was going off memory and man-o-man, some things get mixed up in my brain. I still don't know who it was, but I did realize (when I searched for your threads) that it isn't you. SO SORRY! *shameface*

I still hold to my opinion that this will cause a rift and that the work you both put in will determine if it can be bridged. (It CAN be bridged, it just depends on the work put in.)

Maybe I'm more like Sapphire Storm, but I ALSO would have his balls handed to him (and vice versa) if these discoveries were made in my own relationship. I certainly wouldn't be making a nice dinner for him to come home to. Jus' Sayin'.

Is it because you don't like conflict that you're treading so carefully, or because you don't want to lose him? If he really loves you, he won't leave because you're pissed off about something you have EVERY. RIGHT. to be upset over and are holding him accountable for his actions. And if he DOES leave? Then he doesn't have what it takes to be in an adult, committed relationship. less