The New Intimacy

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Contributor: southernhawtie southernhawtie
Does it bother anyone else when ur BF plays online??


MY BF gets up in the middle of the night to play online....and it has nothing to do with porn....at least I dont think so. What do you think? All I know is that it pisses me off!
12/02/2010
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Contributor: Vally Vally
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
Does it bother anyone else when ur BF plays online??


MY BF gets up in the middle of the night to play online....and it has nothing to do with porn....at least I dont think so. What do you think? All I know is that it pisses me off!
When I was younger it bothered me too, but it was more because it seemed like the games were more important than spending time with me. That was why I answered the way I did on your other threads.

No matter what any behavior is, if someone is being hurt by it then it is a problem.

This is a hard one to talk to them about too, if he is hooked then he could get really defensive about cutting his time back online.

Also try to step back and ask yourself if he is spending quality time with you during the rest of the day. If he is, you might want to give him the time to play, read a book, go online yourself etc.
12/02/2010
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I do this. Aaaaalll the time.

My partner goes to bed around 1-2, whereas I stay up til six, if I have my way. So after she's asleep, I amuse myself online. She often asks me what I do all night. Um. Stuff? I don't know? I watch a lot of movies? She teases me that I'm up all night playing with my "vampire friends" and my fictitious other lover.

I know it bothers her a little that we're on such different sleeping schedules, and that she can't look over my shoulder to see what I'm doing, but I make sure she understands that she is my priority. I also don't hide what I'm doing because I'm not ashamed of what I do and have nothing to hide

If she's asleep, why does it matter what I'm doing as long as I'm not doing anything morally or ethically questionable?
12/02/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
This is pretty much a generational thing - my son does this (he's 19) my daughter on the other hand does not (she's 20). My wife and I on the other hand are do what!?
12/02/2010
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Also, in response to the original poster, I hope you've spoken with your boyfriend about this.

He might think exactly as I do and not realize how much it upsets you.


Also, you should explain to him WHY it upsets you, instead of just saying, "Well, I hate when you do this so you need to stop."
Is it that you're concerned he's addicted? Do you dislike him spending so much time with other people? Do you want him to spend more time with you? Do you sleep poorly alone?
12/03/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
It sorta did bother me, until I realize I get up early in the morning and play online, lol.
12/03/2010
Contributor: onehotmomma onehotmomma
it bothers me when my bf does this, but for (what I think) is good reason. He works the night shift, and can't seem to stay awake past 8 on his nights off. Wouldn't be a big deal if 2 kids weren't involved. When he gets up in the middle of the night to play whatever stupid game he plays, it bugs me because he can't stay awake to help put the kids to bed, and when the baby wakes up at 6:30 and the toddler at 7, I'm on my own, because he's too tired from being up playing his games lol.
12/03/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
Does it bother anyone else when ur BF plays online??


MY BF gets up in the middle of the night to play online....and it has nothing to do with porn....at least I dont think so. What do you think? All I know is that it pisses me off!
Play online? You said you don't think it has to do with porn?

So is it WOW or D&D or something?

Have you asked him about this?

My bf plays games online but has never gotten up in the middle of the night to do so.
12/03/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
An honest frank discussion is in order. He probably doesn't know how pissed off you are and what is he really doing in the middle of the night??
12/03/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Mine has sleep issues sometimes. I understand if he gets up and does other things. I occasionally have problems sleeping and give up after lying in bed for hours on end.
12/03/2010
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Talk about it. If he's not sleeping then it might be better to have him out of the room rather than tossing and turning. He might be trying to think of you as well - he'll go to bed with you and cuddle for a while, then do his own thing when you're asleep.
12/03/2010
Contributor: southernhawtie southernhawtie
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
Does it bother anyone else when ur BF plays online??


MY BF gets up in the middle of the night to play online....and it has nothing to do with porn....at least I dont think so. What do you think? All I know is that it pisses me off!
TY Guys! You all made good points...And No I haven't talked to him yet. Was wondering how to go about that one or if I was overreacting. I have a really good man...but before him I had several really bad ones. So I guess sometimes I take thinks out on him that I shouldn't. But He is very understanding and really considerate. He even opens doors....all of the time. I'm a very lucky girl...Maybe I should let this one go.
12/03/2010