If it were me, I'd be bothered by it. That being said, all that matters is your comfort level with his behavior. If you don't like it, say so.

The way I look at it, it's better than having a distant spouse who isn't attracted to you.

On the other hand, ten text messages in one day? Does this guy work? My partner and I don't even have time to send 10 in one day! However, we are pretty close and spend a lot more time together than the average couple, but that is because a lot of our tasks/hobbies are things we do together. We do errands together, we wrap presents together, we clean the hamster's cage together! When we're both off work in the evenings, we spend them together and it's really fun to do these little thing together.

We've been together for 6 years and I can say I've gone through a lot of changes. When we first got together, I'd just experienced the most traumatic thing for me months before, so I had some serious issues! I started to hate myself, and I'd never really experienced problems with my body or self before. It affected us both, but I overcame thank God. I was so miserable though.

So what I'm getting at is, something must have happened for him to suddenly begin feeling this way, and it's very important to get to the bottom of it. Ask him. Say "I've noticed you're down lately. You do know I love you, right? Is something going on to make you feel badly?" And also, since he's suddenly feeling clingy, it's probably making him feel like YOU aren't showing him as much love and affection when in reality, it's just that his is out of balance.

Anyways, you should absolutely get to the bottom of these feelings. Instead of saying "God, get a life. I need space," get to the bottom of it and you'll make progress.

I love that my spouse gives me so much attention, but I also need my personal space, as does he. He grabs and fondles me all the time, and I love that, but there's a difference in daily affection and clingyness. You'd need to find a way to gain back your space without putting him off or making him feel like you're trying to push away. Seriously, the only thing I think will really get you guys anywhere is figuring out what is going on inside him.

I've had days where I've hated everything about myself. I've felt disgusting, damaged and like shit. I can recall one particular instance when my partner came home and noticed after giving me a compliment, and he said "you don't feel beautiful or something? What's made you feel that way? You tell me why you ain't feeling beautiful today." That made every difference in the world. And turns out, that day I didn't actually feel horrible, I'd just made a grunt when he said I looked beautiful because I thought he was rushing me while I flat-ironed my hair! But I've felt that down before, and him asking me plain and simple and the kindness that came from just those words instantly perked me up.

Or perhaps you guys are a newish couple, and you're simply just now seeing his clingy personality. But if he really wasn't jealous or clingy before, then I'd bet there's just something he's got built up that's buggin' him.

Now, on a side note, if he's being hateful or aggressive and rude with this new found jealousy, I'd be a little more firm than "oh, what is wrong? Let's work it out." I'd be taking a whole 'nother approach. First off, I'd be immediately putting my foot down, and then when I got that point across, I'd kindly ask him to share what is wrong and work it out or else suck it up and take the asshole-itis elsewhere.

I agree. It's not attractive to have an insecure partner, but I don't think running from a natural feeling is the right approach. Not if it's just a random thing. I mean if they're constantly like this. But you said it's a new thing for him, so it sounds like it's just a natural, human feeling and could be worked out. Maybe something has him down. Don't we all feel this way sometimes?

Clingy is a big pet peeve of mine. Id be gone from what you've described. Someone needs to stand on their own and be their own person

We've been together for almost 4 years straight. We dated once before and we were both really young and immature and let other peoples lies tear us apart.

Thanks so much for the advice. I plan on talking to him after the holiday, we're both so stressed with getting everything done and stuff I don't want to add to it.

10 is definitely a bit excessive. There is absolutely something to work out.

Have you thought about how you're going to resolve it?


I thought I'd let everyone know that we had a small talk, and I've started only getting one or maybe two i miss you texts a day, and it's really helped with how annoyed I was getting with him.

Thanks for all the advice !