How do you and your SO decide who to see on what Holidays?

We are usually able to see both families. My brother does catering so he is too busy at Xmas and Thanksgiving to come out, so we get together the first or 2nd week of December.

So for the actual Thanksgiving and Christmas days we go see my BF's family.

We have our own christmas at our apartment on christmas eve and then we each go to our own parents house for christmas morning. Later in the morning I go to his place and spend time with his family and then we go to my house and spend time with my family. This works out really well for us because all of our places are pretty close to each other and we all get along so well. I'm super happy with our situation. Noone gets left out. Sometimes we take a speacial trip a few days before christmas or after christmas to halifax to visit my brothers and sisters. It's about 4 hours away.

When both my parents lived near we visited them both but now it's only my mom and a call to my father. Momma usually does a big lunch/dinner for my whole family. Hubby will be fishing if he hasn't met his commercial quota though.

Hubby's family - they are complicated. Took us forever to finally get them to agree to have a Christmas Eve dinner and celebration because there was just too much to do on Christmas Day. Then one of the hubby's brother's had to go and destroy that and now that he is out of jail and living with his parents we won't be going there at all. That has been pissing Hubby's mother off so I'm not real sure about this Christmas. His father is at our house all the time regardless, hubby and his dad are close, so he'll be at my house for a late dinner but his mom will probably just stop by for the two seconds it takes to give the kids a card with money and leave. As for the rest of the family we hook up with them when it's easy for us too. But in reality his side has way too much drama so I'm steering clear of them this year.

Right now we are 5 hours away from where my wife's family celebrates Christmas, and we are 9 hours away from my parents. We currently switch off every year.

We always went to both families for the holidays, when we lived in Colorado. If we traveled now, We still would but we would only go for one of the two holidays. Probably for Christmas, the kids would be out of school and all.

My family is very small and much less formal about the holidays so we usually squeeze them in between the stuff we do with his GIANT family.

We try to keep everything balanced and visit both families for holidays. But, since my man and his mother have an.. interesting.. relationship to say the least, sometimes it's just my family.

We do Christmas Eve and Easter at my Mom's because we're Catholic, so church is involved. Christmas day is with my Dad, but Thanksgiving is always a huge fight over where to go. We went to my Mom's this year, and I will likely go to my Dad's next year.

We use to go to his Granny's for Thanksgiving, but he typically has to work on Thanksgiving AND the day after, for Black Friday, so we can't do that anymore. Christmas works out great for us because his family has always celebrated on Christmas eve. They live about 20 minutes away from us so we just head out there for dinner and presents, leaving us Christmas morning for our own little family gift exchange. Then we get dressed and head out for the 3 hour trip to my grandmother's, where everyone in my family goes for Christmas.

Last year, when my boyfriend and I started dating, we saw a lot of my family on non-holidays. When the holidays rolled around, my bf was really excited to show me off to his family and so we did all his stuff. I of course went to my family stuff too, but he wasn't there for it. This year its my turn and we will go to all my stuff and if we can go to some of his, we will.

My family's on the wrong side of the Atlantic.

Our families are relatively close to each other, so we've had pretty good luck with getting to one early and leaving to go to the other late on the occasions that things are happening at the same time.

We don't visit either one. It's complicated.

I realize I didn't elucidate our stuff. For years, we tried to see everyone in both families. My parents are divorced, and while civil to each other, it still makes for more family to try to see. On Christmas, we used to go to my Mom's side's party about a week before Christmas (this year the cousin who had it gave the party Thanksgiving weekend, while most of their family was sick with the stomach flu, which my little one and I promptly caught. UG.) Then, we would go to both his family's cousin party, then my aunt's house on my Dad's side. Then on Christmas, we go to my aunt's as well. We also fit in a party at My Man's Dad's place of employment (he was a First Responder and was Chief at the time) and the village would have a huge party for First Responder's families at the Fire House every year. Then we had friends parties and then we'd have New Years Eve and most would stay over because I don't like people driving when they've been drinking.

It got to be too much. Then my Dad (Here comes the drama) had a fight with his sibs over their mother's inheritance. They still don't speak, he didn't even go to his older sister's funeral. Sad. My Man's father is dead. But, before that his parents started leaving the Chicago Area for Florida. It used to be after Christmas, but as his mother NEVER entertains (people are messy and they "mess up" her perfect house) and she started some shit with both people in HER family (who all live in Wisconsin) and her husband's family, and she started complaining that we always "chose P'Gell's family over us anyway" they started going to Florida earlier and earlier. By the time the Old Man got sick, they were gone before Thanksgiving. The reason we "chose my side" was that there were actual PARTIES on my side. Not sitting in his parents living room staring at each other or listening to his father make racist, homophobic or child beating comments. (He's pro-child beating. BTW.) or in their basement (great way to make family feel welcome. "Here, you don't deserve my house, sit in my cold basement.") trying to prevent the children from touching anything or making "messes." Then, his family (the cousins) stopped inviting US on Christmas Eve because of some beef they had with his mother. OMG, it's a mess. (They also hate my politics. Well, then they don't need to start using the "N" word and talking trash about everybody to the Left of Sarah Palin at Christmas dinner, do they?)

So, now my brother has Thanksgiving, with our Mom and his wife's mom and often other people. (But, his ex wife decided suddenly she wanted the kids for Thanksgiving, so no kids for my little one to play with, and I miss them.) We have Christmas. We usually have a somewhat quiet Christmas Eve, but there is cooking to be done. (My brother doesn't come on Christmas before due to his wife's Mommy Issues.) So, then we go to his house on Boxing Day. Then we have New Years Eve for friends and it's really the best day of the holiday season. We only invite who we want to, and it's relaxed and fun, and everybody stays over (except our next door neighbors, who just roll across the grass and drive way to their home) and then we usually go to my Dad's on Easter.

I look forward to the END of the Holiday Season. It's so much stress.

My guy has no family really left so we spend Holidays with mine. My son spends some with his dad if dad is in town but he lives in Cali so it's usually only Christmas day.

It's all good, though. My family rocks.

Thanksgiving is with his family, because their closer, we see them more often, and the drive isn't as bad.

Christmas is with my family because we don't see them as often as we're in separate states.

His mama and I don't get along, also his family has never done anything for the holidays even when he was growing up (until he met me, he never had a holiday dinner!) My family on the other hand is HUGE on holidays, so we spend time with them!

My partner and I usually celebrate the holidays at my family's house. He is Muslim and his holidays do not fall in place with the traditional American holidays. But he's okay with that, because he's not a strict Muslim.

My family lives far away.

We have family all over the country. We got sick of traveling, so we told our families if they wanted to see us for the holidays they could come to our house. Best decision ever. Takes so much stress out of the holidays.

we bounce between both families on thanksgiving.
spend yule with close friends.
christmas eve with his family
christmas day with my family
new years with friends

We make an effort to see both although that can be a pain as we have family all over the place.

We just go to our own families since we don't live together.

My partner and I are still working this one out. He came to visit me for my birthday (and new years) last year, and I went to his family's place over the summer and during thanksgiving. He was going to come for christmas but then my family planned to visit my brother in new york, so that changed. He's still coming for my birthday again.

I think our plan is to try and switch off, or to visit his family for holidays that are shorter since they're currently much closer and easier to visit.