How do you and your SO decide who to see on what Holidays?

How do you and your SO decide who to see on what Holidays?

P'Gell P'Gell
This is intriguing me, because it's so hard at first. I remember when My Man and I first started living together, both families wanted to see us every holiday. His parents refused to host any holidays, and then there were family splits (none of which I was involved in, but ALL of which effected myself and my kids.)

Who do you see and how do you decide?

Answers will be public.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
We see my family only for all Holidays
Carrie Ann , onehotmomma , lamira , Madeira , LovesAPoet
5
We see my SO's family only for all Holidays
Anne Ardeur , Harlequin , Koko
3
We try to see both families on each holiday (please give me details)
Taylor , fghjkl , ToyTimeTim , HisLittleGirl , Not here , J's Alley , DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO , ~LaUr3n~ , Jul!a , southernhawtie , Lady Neshamah , rdytogo , LavenderSkies , Naughty Student , darthkitt3n , ToxicHeart , guard083 , Beaners , Mlee , Carolinagirl08 , LivingandLoving
21
We switch off who we will see at each Holiday
leatherlover , J's Alley , ~LaUr3n~ , Dusk , meganthomas , ToxicHeart , Angel deSanguine , The Curious Couple
8
We see one family on a particular Holiday and the other on an other Holiday
P'Gell , Persephone's Addiction , Kindred , nerdgirl , TheZombre , Morganna
6
We avoid family like the plague
just a sub , Airen Wolf , ToxicHeart , Wonderstruck
4
We do other stuff (details)
SexyTabby , Alan & Michele , Envy , Morganna , sexygoddess , hjtee
6
We stay home and see no one
kinky girlfriend , ToxicHeart , REDRUM , potstickers
4
Everyone comes to our place EVERY Holiday
UnknownGirl , Miss Anonymous
2
Total votes: 59 (53 voters)
Poll is closed
12/01/2010
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Taylor Taylor
We are usually able to see both families. My brother does catering so he is too busy at Xmas and Thanksgiving to come out, so we get together the first or 2nd week of December.

So for the actual Thanksgiving and Christmas days we go see my BF's family.
12/01/2010
fghjkl fghjkl
We have our own christmas at our apartment on christmas eve and then we each go to our own parents house for christmas morning. Later in the morning I go to his place and spend time with his family and then we go to my house and spend time with my family. This works out really well for us because all of our places are pretty close to each other and we all get along so well. I'm super happy with our situation. Noone gets left out. Sometimes we take a speacial trip a few days before christmas or after christmas to halifax to visit my brothers and sisters. It's about 4 hours away.
12/01/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
When both my parents lived near we visited them both but now it's only my mom and a call to my father. Momma usually does a big lunch/dinner for my whole family. Hubby will be fishing if he hasn't met his commercial quota though.

Hubby's family - they are complicated. Took us forever to finally get them to agree to have a Christmas Eve dinner and celebration because there was just too much to do on Christmas Day. Then one of the hubby's brother's had to go and destroy that and now that he is out of jail and living with his parents we won't be going there at all. That has been pissing Hubby's mother off so I'm not real sure about this Christmas. His father is at our house all the time regardless, hubby and his dad are close, so he'll be at my house for a late dinner but his mom will probably just stop by for the two seconds it takes to give the kids a card with money and leave. As for the rest of the family we hook up with them when it's easy for us too. But in reality his side has way too much drama so I'm steering clear of them this year.
12/01/2010
leatherlover leatherlover
Right now we are 5 hours away from where my wife's family celebrates Christmas, and we are 9 hours away from my parents. We currently switch off every year.
12/01/2010
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
We always went to both families for the holidays, when we lived in Colorado. If we traveled now, We still would but we would only go for one of the two holidays. Probably for Christmas, the kids would be out of school and all.
12/01/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyTabby
When both my parents lived near we visited them both but now it's only my mom and a call to my father. Momma usually does a big lunch/dinner for my whole family. Hubby will be fishing if he hasn't met his commercial quota though. ...
I hate all the drama, too.

Sorry you have to deal with that, Tabby.
12/01/2010
HisLittleGirl HisLittleGirl
My family is very small and much less formal about the holidays so we usually squeeze them in between the stuff we do with his GIANT family.
12/01/2010
Not here Not here
We try to keep everything balanced and visit both families for holidays. But, since my man and his mother have an.. interesting.. relationship to say the least, sometimes it's just my family.
12/01/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I hate all the drama, too.

Sorry you have to deal with that, Tabby.
Yeah, it seems like holiday's and drama are hand in hand
12/01/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
We do Christmas Eve and Easter at my Mom's because we're Catholic, so church is involved. Christmas day is with my Dad, but Thanksgiving is always a huge fight over where to go. We went to my Mom's this year, and I will likely go to my Dad's next year.
12/01/2010
DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO DONOTSHOPHERETHEOWNERISPSYCHO
We use to go to his Granny's for Thanksgiving, but he typically has to work on Thanksgiving AND the day after, for Black Friday, so we can't do that anymore. Christmas works out great for us because his family has always celebrated on Christmas eve. They live about 20 minutes away from us so we just head out there for dinner and presents, leaving us Christmas morning for our own little family gift exchange. Then we get dressed and head out for the 3 hour trip to my grandmother's, where everyone in my family goes for Christmas.
12/01/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Last year, when my boyfriend and I started dating, we saw a lot of my family on non-holidays. When the holidays rolled around, my bf was really excited to show me off to his family and so we did all his stuff. I of course went to my family stuff too, but he wasn't there for it. This year its my turn and we will go to all my stuff and if we can go to some of his, we will.
12/01/2010
Anne Ardeur Anne Ardeur
My family's on the wrong side of the Atlantic.
12/01/2010
Jul!a Jul!a
Our families are relatively close to each other, so we've had pretty good luck with getting to one early and leaving to go to the other late on the occasions that things are happening at the same time.
12/01/2010
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
We don't visit either one. It's complicated.
12/02/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
I realize I didn't elucidate our stuff. For years, we tried to see everyone in both families. My parents are divorced, and while civil to each other, it still makes for more family to try to see. On Christmas, we used to go to my Mom's side's party about a week before Christmas (this year the cousin who had it gave the party Thanksgiving weekend, while most of their family was sick with the stomach flu, which my little one and I promptly caught. UG.) Then, we would go to both his family's cousin party, then my aunt's house on my Dad's side. Then on Christmas, we go to my aunt's as well. We also fit in a party at My Man's Dad's place of employment (he was a First Responder and was Chief at the time) and the village would have a huge party for First Responder's families at the Fire House every year. Then we had friends parties and then we'd have New Years Eve and most would stay over because I don't like people driving when they've been drinking.

It got to be too much. Then my Dad (Here comes the drama) had a fight with his sibs over their mother's inheritance. They still don't speak, he didn't even go to his older sister's funeral. Sad. My Man's father is dead. But, before that his parents started leaving the Chicago Area for Florida. It used to be after Christmas, but as his mother NEVER entertains (people are messy and they "mess up" her perfect house) and she started some shit with both people in HER family (who all live in Wisconsin) and her husband's family, and she started complaining that we always "chose P'Gell's family over us anyway" they started going to Florida earlier and earlier. By the time the Old Man got sick, they were gone before Thanksgiving. The reason we "chose my side" was that there were actual PARTIES on my side. Not sitting in his parents living room staring at each other or listening to his father make racist, homophobic or child beating comments. (He's pro-child beating. BTW.) or in their basement (great way to make family feel welcome. "Here, you don't deserve my house, sit in my cold basement.") trying to prevent the children from touching anything or making "messes." Then, his family (the cousins) stopped inviting US on Christmas Eve because of some beef they had with his mother. OMG, it's a mess. (They also hate my politics. Well, then they don't need to start using the "N" word and talking trash about everybody to the Left of Sarah Palin at Christmas dinner, do they?)

So, now my brother has Thanksgiving, with our Mom and his wife's mom and often other people. (But, his ex wife decided suddenly she wanted the kids for Thanksgiving, so no kids for my little one to play with, and I miss them.) We have Christmas. We usually have a somewhat quiet Christmas Eve, but there is cooking to be done. (My brother doesn't come on Christmas before due to his wife's Mommy Issues.) So, then we go to his house on Boxing Day. Then we have New Years Eve for friends and it's really the best day of the holiday season. We only invite who we want to, and it's relaxed and fun, and everybody stays over (except our next door neighbors, who just roll across the grass and drive way to their home) and then we usually go to my Dad's on Easter.

I look forward to the END of the Holiday Season. It's so much stress.
12/02/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
My guy has no family really left so we spend Holidays with mine. My son spends some with his dad if dad is in town but he lives in Cali so it's usually only Christmas day.

It's all good, though. My family rocks.
12/02/2010
kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
This is intriguing me, because it's so hard at first. I remember when My Man and I first started living together, both families wanted to see us every holiday. His parents refused to host any holidays, and then there were family splits (none of ...
while my dad and sister go out of town. I stay home because I"m sick in the bathroom with ibs...my mom is home though. SO I can't say I don't see anyone. SHe avoids family like the plague I don't blame her either for how she is treated. Holidays are lonely they are just another day off work to me more than celbrating and my boyfriend will be gone for 20 some days starting in december and ends jan. 5. Duringi that time I may see if I can get a late hair appointment on jan. 4th and give myself a makeover while he is gone and surprise him but it's mostly to please myself I really want to give myself a makeover my boyfriend likes how I look now. All I do is shower and brush my teeth imagine how shocked everyone will be totally new haircolors,makeup,perf ume,maybe even put my eyebrow and lip,ear piercings back in.
12/02/2010
Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
Thanksgiving is with his family, because their closer, we see them more often, and the drive isn't as bad.

Christmas is with my family because we don't see them as often as we're in separate states.
12/02/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
My guy has no family really left so we spend Holidays with mine. My son spends some with his dad if dad is in town but he lives in Cali so it's usually only Christmas day.

It's all good, though. My family rocks.
You are so lucky to have a great family. It's great you are able to enjoy and appreciate it.

I used to, then people either went insane, or I realized there were. I'm not sure which. It's the whole "you talked to so and so, so you aren't my friend" kind of shit. UG.

I'm sorry your man has no family left. My brother doesn't either (he's my step brother) his mom, dad and sister are all dead, and he has no cousins or aunts and uncles left either, so we've completely adopted him into our family, as crazy as it is. It is cool to have a brother, after so many years as an only child.

(Carrie Ann, I'm like watching my capitalization now, like crazy. LOL! Damn, I do it all the time, and now I'm keeping a lid on it. )
12/02/2010
onehotmomma onehotmomma
His mama and I don't get along, also his family has never done anything for the holidays even when he was growing up (until he met me, he never had a holiday dinner!) My family on the other hand is HUGE on holidays, so we spend time with them!
12/02/2010
southernhawtie southernhawtie
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
This is intriguing me, because it's so hard at first. I remember when My Man and I first started living together, both families wanted to see us every holiday. His parents refused to host any holidays, and then there were family splits (none of ...
we ask our families to try to make the get togethers at a time that we can make both of them.
12/02/2010
lamira lamira
My partner and I usually celebrate the holidays at my family's house. He is Muslim and his holidays do not fall in place with the traditional American holidays. But he's okay with that, because he's not a strict Muslim.
12/02/2010
Harlequin Harlequin
My family lives far away.
12/16/2010
UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
We have family all over the country. We got sick of traveling, so we told our families if they wanted to see us for the holidays they could come to our house. Best decision ever. Takes so much stress out of the holidays.
12/17/2010
Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
we bounce between both families on thanksgiving.
spend yule with close friends.
christmas eve with his family
christmas day with my family
new years with friends
12/17/2010
rdytogo rdytogo
We make an effort to see both although that can be a pain as we have family all over the place.
12/17/2010
Envy Envy
We just go to our own families since we don't live together.
12/17/2010
Dusk Dusk
My partner and I are still working this one out. He came to visit me for my birthday (and new years) last year, and I went to his family's place over the summer and during thanksgiving. He was going to come for christmas but then my family planned to visit my brother in new york, so that changed. He's still coming for my birthday again.

I think our plan is to try and switch off, or to visit his family for holidays that are shorter since they're currently much closer and easier to visit.
12/17/2010
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Total posts: 45
Unique posters: 39