How long could you wait?

How long could you wait?

That Guy That Guy
How long do you think you could go without having sex with your partner before you broke down and cheated or broke up. I don't mean if you were away at war, or lost on a desert island with a slew of beautiful polynesian people of your preferred sex, I just mean if your partner just straight up wasn't putting out. This is a fun way to start fights between couples at parties, so I thought I'd see what everybody on eden thinks.
01/19/2011
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Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by That Guy
How long do you think you could go without having sex with your partner before you broke down and cheated or broke up. I don't mean if you were away at war, or lost on a desert island with a slew of beautiful polynesian people of your preferred ...
That is terrible! lol I hope you are kidding about starting fights between couples at parties.

Seriously though, it would really depend on the reason my husband was not putting out. Is it a physical problem, no fault of his own? Is it an emotional problem? Is he still willing to help me enjoy myself? Is he completely disgusted by me? Is he no longer in love with me? This is very tough to answer without knowing specifics.

I suppose it might be easier to answer for someone who is not so invested in their relationship, maybe of those who are not married. I don't know.
01/19/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
That is terrible! lol I hope you are kidding about starting fights between couples at parties.

Seriously though, it would really depend on the reason my husband was not putting out. Is it a physical problem, no fault of his own? Is it an ...
I agree. It would depend on the reason. If they were doing it out of spite or some other immature reason, I'd dump them almost immediately. If it was something else like they were hurt, stressed, tired, etc...even just not in the mood or felt low...that is a totally different story. I am very accommodating, accepting, and sympathetic to most situations, but I will not tolerate deliberate hurt or games.
01/19/2011
Orion Orion
Well my relationship is at a point where my wife is gone for 7+ months at a time and i go without just fine pretty much only interested in her anyways so never even thought of going elsewhere for it.
01/19/2011
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I agree. It would depend on the reason. If they were doing it out of spite or some other immature reason, I'd dump them almost immediately. If it was something else like they were hurt, stressed, tired, etc...even just not in the mood or felt ...
Yep. This. I could wait for a LOOOOOOONG time and then some. I have toys. I am happy.
01/19/2011
That Guy That Guy
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
That is terrible! lol I hope you are kidding about starting fights between couples at parties.

Seriously though, it would really depend on the reason my husband was not putting out. Is it a physical problem, no fault of his own? Is it an ...
I'm joking to the extent that I would ever intentionally start a fight between a couple, but last time this question was asked in a public forum, the disparity between each partner's answer got virtually everyone into an argument.

I was assuming that there was nothing emotional lacking in the relationship, save for the actual physical contact. I would assume the same interaction you enjoy at your best, but absolutely no interest in sex. I can't really classify as it a physical or emotional problem, because emotional problems are physical at some level, particularly when it comes to a lack of interest in sex. But presume for the sake of argument that you're not estranged, there's just a complete lack of sex in the relationship. You've brought up the problem, talked about it, and your partner feels bad for his/her lack of interest, but doesn't want to have sex.
01/19/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
I have toys, so does he. If one of us wasn't into it for any reason, we'd just use those.
01/19/2011
That Guy That Guy
Quote:
Originally posted by Orion
Well my relationship is at a point where my wife is gone for 7+ months at a time and i go without just fine pretty much only interested in her anyways so never even thought of going elsewhere for it.
Good for you! That's longer than most estimates I hear. But I didn't mean so much how long you could go in the event of physical separation, I meant if you were living together, seeing each other every day, getting along fine, and she just did not want to get down.
01/19/2011
Lucidity Lucidity
I agree that the reason is imperative. If he's not interested in me anymore, it's time for us both to move on. If it's something else and he's communicating; I could go on until it gets better. Like the other ladies; I can please myself.
01/19/2011
Envy Envy
There are many reasons this could happen, and it ultimately depends on the people involved and what they want/expect. You get people who want sex, don't get it, they up and leave. And you get people who work through it and want the companionship.

I have terribly low libido, and I also have a lot of sexual hangups, coupled with having a long distance relationship of 4 years. (Only been in person around each other for 2 weeks.) I am typically not the kind of woman guys want to date since i have so many 'issues,' both physically and mentally. My bf, however, loves me to death and wants to help me with *everything* and give me what i never got growing up: love. I do feel guilty though, i admit, but it's his choice to stay with me knowing full well what he's getting into.

So really, it depends on the kinds of people involved.
01/19/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
During my wife's pregnancies, there were 3-4 month periods when she had absolutely no interest in sex, and I had no choice but to go along with that. I'd rather not think about lasting longer than that.
01/19/2011
GeekWife GeekWife
Quote:
Originally posted by Vaccinium
During my wife's pregnancies, there were 3-4 month periods when she had absolutely no interest in sex, and I had no choice but to go along with that. I'd rather not think about lasting longer than that.
When I was pregnant, I was on "pelvic rest" for the last few months, so we weren't allowed to have sex... no orgasms for me, period. That SUCKED. Of course, it was towards the end of the pregnancy so my hormones were raging and I was hoping the baby could be, um, poked out of me. Months before that I was either really sick or just not into it. I think we didn't do it for at least 6 months, and then I had to wait 8 weeks after having the kid too thanks to the c-section. So... (doing math)... that was at least an eight month stint of not being allowed to do it? Yeah.
01/19/2011
liilii080 liilii080
After 6 weeks I'd bring it up. There's clearly a problem if it's been that long and I want to address it. I just don't see cheating as an option. Couples counseling, yes. Cheating, no.
01/19/2011
indiglo indiglo
For me it would totally depend on the reason too. But I know my solution wouldn't be cheating on him. I really feel like with good communication, we could work anything out, including something like this. I'd bring it up after a week or so, just because for us that would be a long time.
01/19/2011
Coralbell Coralbell
I could go without it forever if I had to and I definitely wouldn't cheat on them. As far as breaking up with them, it would depend on the reason that they weren't having sex with me.
01/19/2011
Yoda Yoda
I would broach the issue with my wife first and foremost. I'd never cheat. Period.
01/19/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
It would depend on why--is this a medical thing? Is it emotional? Are we just not connecting?

I'd rather break up than cheat, so that is out, but we'd definitely be having some long talks.
01/19/2011
That Guy That Guy
Quote:
Originally posted by GeekWife
When I was pregnant, I was on "pelvic rest" for the last few months, so we weren't allowed to have sex... no orgasms for me, period. That SUCKED. Of course, it was towards the end of the pregnancy so my hormones were raging and I was ...
That must have been terrible! Yet another reason for me to be positively terrified of pregnancy.
01/20/2011
Orion Orion
Quote:
Originally posted by That Guy
Good for you! That's longer than most estimates I hear. But I didn't mean so much how long you could go in the event of physical separation, I meant if you were living together, seeing each other every day, getting along fine, and she just ...
Well there's other ways to have fun without being there and if it was when we were together then i have no clue if it was more than a couple weeks id ask at least see if there's problems and such.
01/21/2011
ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by That Guy
How long do you think you could go without having sex with your partner before you broke down and cheated or broke up. I don't mean if you were away at war, or lost on a desert island with a slew of beautiful polynesian people of your preferred ...
probably if i tried hard enough 2 weeks
01/22/2011
CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
When I met my future wife I was in a relationship with a girl that was completely based on sex, but had absolutely nothing in common. When I met what ended up becoming my wife, I broke up with that girl after about a month of my future wife and I talking and being friends. We got married one year later and she didn't let me have sex with her until our wedding night. That just about killed me. I wanted nothing more than to have sex with just about anything, but I didn't because there was something special about her. For any other girl I wouldn't have waited over a month.
01/26/2011
ScottA ScottA
I made a commitment and it's going to stay that way. I'd do things with myself, but I'm not going to throw the relationship away.
01/26/2011
DexterStratton DexterStratton
You just have to talk about it. There's GOT to be a reason.
01/26/2011
Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I agree. It would depend on the reason. If they were doing it out of spite or some other immature reason, I'd dump them almost immediately. If it was something else like they were hurt, stressed, tired, etc...even just not in the mood or felt ...
If it were bcs of a medical (like diabetes and he can't keep his erection) or psychological condition (going through a depression) I think I could withstand the pressures of time quite well and be very supportive.

However if it were a reason to smite me for something it would be over between us.
01/26/2011
Mlee Mlee
Quote:
Originally posted by That Guy
How long do you think you could go without having sex with your partner before you broke down and cheated or broke up. I don't mean if you were away at war, or lost on a desert island with a slew of beautiful polynesian people of your preferred ...
I would wait forever for the one i love. No matter how long it takes. if you love some one that much then there is no reason to cheat over having sex
01/27/2011
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by Mlee
I would wait forever for the one i love. No matter how long it takes. if you love some one that much then there is no reason to cheat over having sex
Yep, masturbate to get the urges out if you need to and keep the lines of communication open to see what's going on.
01/27/2011
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
i wouldnt be able to
01/27/2011
Purpleladybug Purpleladybug
I dunno!! This is a hard question to answer!!
02/07/2011
Crystalbabe Crystalbabe
It was a month and we almost broke up cuz he wouldnt have sex. I went looking one night a bar and he heard I was there and showed up and put out after about 12 beers and 4 shots in the bathroom!
02/08/2011
Kilgorescowboy Kilgorescowboy
Quote:
Originally posted by That Guy
How long do you think you could go without having sex with your partner before you broke down and cheated or broke up. I don't mean if you were away at war, or lost on a desert island with a slew of beautiful polynesian people of your preferred ...
getting laid is not more important than my relationship if times got hard i have two hands so yea
05/04/2011
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