The New Intimacy

How many times have you said forever?

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Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
In light of a recent breakup, my mom (who is awesome, btw) was trying to explain to me that most people are in relationships that they truly believe - at the time - will last forever, but for whatever reason, they don't. She knows she told and truly believed she'd stay together forever is 5 as of right now, including the man she's been with for fifteen years now. At 29, I know I said it to my high school boyfriend/fiance, my first husband, and my recent ex. And I never lied - I truly thought I'd be with each of them until I died, and at the time they were all 'the one'. The recent one still stings a little, but I've become more or less apathetic to the other two, knowing now that I should NOT have been with either of them for the rest of my life.

So I'm curious, how many times have you said and meant forever?
08/03/2011
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Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
Including 'best friends forever?' I'd say maybe 6?
08/03/2011
Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
In light of a recent breakup, my mom (who is awesome, btw) was trying to explain to me that most people are in relationships that they truly believe - at the time - will last forever, but for whatever reason, they don't. She knows she told and ... more
Just once for me.. I've been married 15 years and it's been through thick and thin.
08/03/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
My own ex-husband, just that one. We'd sign our emails off with such sentiments:

"Yours, forever and always,
though hell gape wide,
J***"

I honestly believed it was 'forever', which depressed the holy hell out of me years later when I finally admitted to myself I was unhappy and thought I had to live with my mistake. Thank goodness I didn't.

To me, 'forever' isn't that durable so I'm not even going to believe it. :-/
08/03/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
Just to my ex. I feel your pain, mine was recent, too. I think the whole thing is, if you delude yourself by thinking things are better than they really are, or convince yourself it'll last forever, and as long as both people do it, it'll happen for better or for worse. I was truly convinced, my ex not so much.

Fact of the matter is nothing lasts forever, not love, not memories, not even diamonds. But the ideology is something to hold onto, something we want to believe. Nothing wrong with a little blind faith and hope, right?
08/03/2011
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
Three times now, though I really do know that this one is for ever. The first was my first love, which is always "forever," the second my last relationship before the one I'm in now (which I did believe was going to be forever...) and this relationship, which I know will be forever.
08/03/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I've never said it. I'm not ready to make that kind of commitment at this point in my life.
08/04/2011
Contributor: catgirl9 catgirl9
Just once, to my husband.
08/04/2011
Contributor: Wildchild Wildchild
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Just to my ex. I feel your pain, mine was recent, too. I think the whole thing is, if you delude yourself by thinking things are better than they really are, or convince yourself it'll last forever, and as long as both people do it, it'll ... more
I have to agree with I just read. It brings up the cold hard facts of what life really is. Sorry that your going thru this. I cant honsetly remember thinking the two time I got marriered it would last forever right after I said I do.

I seemed to marry ppl that thought they could change me and form me into what I wanted and this drove me insane. When they were happy I was not, and when I was happy, I was told that the relationship is unhappy.

If its ment to be it will be. It has taken me a very long time to accept this concept and there are still times when someone has to smack some sence in me. Life is way to short. Find the person you want to be with and wants to be with you, both of you be yourselves. Take care an nurture each other and who knows it may be forever. "lIfe's a Dance, You learn as you go, sometimes you lead sometimes you follow"
08/04/2011
Contributor: EJ EJ
I've been with the same man for 10+ years, but I've never said "forever". I think it's all just temporary anyway (friendships, relationships, life itself...)so I feel the need to "appreciate every day, knowing that it might be the last" (for whatever reason) more than I feel a need to make promises about an unpredictable future.
08/05/2011