The New Intimacy

Am I setting myself up for disappointment?

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Contributor: js250 js250
My husband thinks role playing, costumes, etc. is silly. I think it could be a bit of fun. So...today right after work, I am going to curl my hair, put on make up and get all dressed up as an escort. And then go home to my 'appointment'--him.

I am a bit nervous at his reaction or if he thinks it is too stupid. It is a lot to lay on the line and, knowing how he feels, a pretty vulnerable feeling. However, if you do not try new things--you do not know if you actually like them or not, right? This is hoe we got started with porn and movies...he took the chance and we both love it.

So..opinions, encouragement, dis-couragement??? Help!!
07/26/2012
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Contributor: PoppyTraille PoppyTraille
You should make your preferences known, but also understand that he has his own desires and be respectful if he needs to take it slow or isn't comfortable with some of the things you've suggested.
07/26/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband thinks role playing, costumes, etc. is silly. I think it could be a bit of fun. So...today right after work, I am going to curl my hair, put on make up and get all dressed up as an escort. And then go home to my 'appointment'--him. ... more
I think this is awesome. You never know, what sounds conceptually "silly" to him, may send him over the edge when he actually experiences it. And even if it doesn't, if it makes you feel sexy, it's completely worth it.
07/26/2012
Contributor: woofcub woofcub
you never know until you try, he may think its silly but he isn't going from personal experience so its worth at least a try
07/26/2012
Contributor: cgerling06 cgerling06
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband thinks role playing, costumes, etc. is silly. I think it could be a bit of fun. So...today right after work, I am going to curl my hair, put on make up and get all dressed up as an escort. And then go home to my 'appointment'--him. ... more
I think it's a good idea. I have never tried it. But I'm pretty sure he's probably going to like it.
07/26/2012
Contributor: Noelle Noelle
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My husband thinks role playing, costumes, etc. is silly. I think it could be a bit of fun. So...today right after work, I am going to curl my hair, put on make up and get all dressed up as an escort. And then go home to my 'appointment'--him. ... more
I say go for it! You never know unless you try it out! Good luck! Let us know how it turns out!
07/26/2012
Contributor: silverdragonfly9 silverdragonfly9
I say go for it I was more into role playing then my boyfriend at first but now he loves the things I come up with
07/26/2012
Contributor: Undecided Undecided
I am not into role play or any of that but I would say go for it and see what his reaction is. Good luck let us know how it goes
07/26/2012
Contributor: Pinkshirt Pinkshirt
I'm sure he will like it. I think he just lacks a little imagination, but when he sees you, he'll love it.
07/26/2012
Contributor: Kissy Kissy
Good luck to you!! I bet it will be fun!! You will never know until you try, right?
07/27/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
I think I am going to do this too! Maybe...I'll even act like I am going to the basement and go out the back door and knock on the door.... that could be exciting.
07/27/2012
Contributor: Gracie Gracie
That sounds fun to me! Did you do it? Did he like it? Would suggest it to others?
07/27/2012
Contributor: Phosphorous Tick Phosphorous Tick
just try it! you'll do fine I'm sure
07/27/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I hope if you did this all went well!

My take is a little different. I usually talk out things I'd like to do with my husband at least to a point before we try anything, just to make sure we're both comfortable with the idea. Take your example - I hate role playing. I'm a pretty kinky person, but I don't like to play pretend, I like to just be me during sex. I've tried it in the past and didn't like it, don't care to do it again. So if my husband popped up in some outfit, I'd honestly give him a look like "are you kidding me right now?" Probably wouldn't go over like he hoped.

I'm generally of the opinion that things should be talked about prior to them happening. Maybe not the day of, to keep some surprise to it, but like a week in advanced have a good talk about it and feel him out on if you think he'd play along or shut down. Then wait it out for a while. When enough time has passed that the moment won't feel too over-talked, then show up all dressed up. That way you know it will go over well, but it still feels like a surprise.
07/27/2012
Contributor: Sir Sir
Surprises when a person previously called such a thing "silly" are not ever good. You should talk about it first rather than springing it on him - that isn't fair whatsoever. Communication.
07/27/2012
Contributor: js250 js250
The verdict is in folks!! Yes, I was an 'escort' last night for my husband and after he got over the fact that I really looked like a high priced hooker....well, he decided some methods of role playing are not that bad. Still a bit awkward, but he is willing to try a few more options.

I have to admit, this was pretty fun up until I pulled into my driveway and had to go to the front door--then I got cold feet, but the dogs already told on me.

A side note--he was already anticipating a fun evening together, had actual champagne ready in the bedroom and one candle lit. That is super romantic for my guy!!!
WHEW!!!

(And Beck----it is pretty fun, the look on their face when they realize whatever they want....)
07/27/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
The verdict is in folks!! Yes, I was an 'escort' last night for my husband and after he got over the fact that I really looked like a high priced hooker....well, he decided some methods of role playing are not that bad. Still a bit awkward, ... more
That sounds like a wonderful night! Yay!
07/27/2012
Contributor: ghent529 ghent529
I felt the same way. I think all that is soooo silly. Until my SO got a costume on a close out deal (cause they are redic. over priced) and she was trying it on and one thing led to another and now we both enjoy it as a once in a while thing not something that could happen everyday. but it's a nice little surprise. I hope eveything works out for you!
07/27/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
Surprises when a person previously called such a thing "silly" are not ever good. You should talk about it first rather than springing it on him - that isn't fair whatsoever. Communication.
I agree that surprising a person with something they've previously reacted to negatively is generally a bad idea, but dressing up / playing a character feels like an acceptable exception. It doesn't cross physical boundaries, and if one's partner(s) objects to an outfit or persona, it's easy to drop the act and change clothes.
07/27/2012
Contributor: woodsdragon woodsdragon
Quote:
Originally posted by PoppyTraille
You should make your preferences known, but also understand that he has his own desires and be respectful if he needs to take it slow or isn't comfortable with some of the things you've suggested.
Well said! Be sure to discuss the details. He may not like one or a few parts of the role-playing and not necessarily the whole idea in general. Maybe get his opinion on what he would like to be role-played so he feels more involved and know what to expect. I am all for trying new things, just be open and respectful of his opinions. Maybe you could shop eden together for some ideas
07/28/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
YAY, I'm so glad you did this. I'm in a rut with he only likes school girls, well I put the outfits on, but really don't know anything from there. I'd love to try something different or know what to do as the school girl besides putting on teh outfit and putting my hair in pigtails. It's going to be so weird when I get my teachers license down the road and I'm playing school girl.
07/28/2012
Contributor: Pennylyn Pennylyn
i hope all goes well
07/28/2012
Contributor: Gracie Gracie
Quote:
Originally posted by - Kira -
I hope if you did this all went well!

My take is a little different. I usually talk out things I'd like to do with my husband at least to a point before we try anything, just to make sure we're both comfortable with the idea. Take ... more
Kira this is wise advice! I'm filing it away for when I need it!

Js250- glad you guys have a lovely evening! Thanks for the update!
07/28/2012
Contributor: nova2014 nova2014
I think you might as well try it since it's something you want to try, you never know until you try it he might like it
01/31/2013