The New Intimacy

Is anyone else -not- a jealous person?

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Contributor: butts butts
I've definitely noticed that being jealous is the norm, and I feel a bit out of place! I'm not a jealous person, if anything, my partner taught me to be more jealous than I am naturally. I just don't feel very threatened by other people when I'm in a relationship. When people hit on or are interested in my partner, it makes me feel good because it's like "Oh you like him? I'm lucky, huh? ", I don't feel defensive or jealous in the least, and my partner says it's an ego boost. If my partner hit on someone else, I'd think it was cute. EVEN If my partner wanted to leave me for someone else, I'd be happy that they found someone who was a better match. Of course I'd be sad since we've been together for 4 years, but I definitely wouldn't react like most of the people I see on EF (judging by their responses to various "how would you feel if _____ happened" threads). Is anyone else here like me, or am I the odd one out?

Also; we aren't in an open or poly relationship.
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I'm a VERY jealous person!
Beautiful-Disaster , PropertyOfPotter , ChaiMocha , Feisty , shesFlawless , Airen Wolf , sXeVegan90 , friendswithfangs , Babylove09
9  (20%)
I'm pretty jealous, but not to an extreme degree.
AliMc , doowop , ginnyluvspotter , Pete's Princess , Taylor
5  (11%)
I'm mildly jealous, I don't feel threatened easily.
KrissyNovacaine , joiedejouets , Gunsmoke , KinkyKatieJames , bratcat
5  (11%)
I'm not very jealous, but once in a while something will rub me the wrong way.
Trysexual , Lady of the Lab , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , eri86 , Crunches , lauraxxarual , curious kitten , HisLittleFiend , Kitten has left the site , SecretKinksters
10  (22%)
I'm not a jealous person at all.
oneeyedoctopus , nimr , Alan & Michele , married with children , butts , extrafun , Ciao. , Bubba29 , Kodie , wicked48 , Isola , Eugler , chibi1091 , mr115393
14  (30%)
It entirely depends on the relationship and situations.
bog , Rossie
2  (4%)
Other?
Honeymuffin33
1  (2%)
Total votes: 46
Poll is closed
05/20/2013
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Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
I am not super jealous. I am polyamorous. I get irritated when others ignore my existence to try to chase after one of my partners. I don't really feel threatened. I do also get insecure sometimes... I always communicate and work on it rather than looking for a threat.
05/20/2013
Contributor: Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
Meh... I'm a very jealous person.. I wish I wasn't though.. Just can't help it.. I've tried to "chill out" when it comes to my jealousy.. yeah.. didn't work very well...
05/20/2013
Contributor: oneeyedoctopus oneeyedoctopus
I'm pretty laid-back.
05/20/2013
Contributor: Trysexual Trysexual
I'm rarely jealous. I'm usually confident enough in myself or my partner not to worry. Occasionally, something can rub me the wrong way though.
05/20/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
I'm a very jealous person, but it's something I keep to myself. I don't freak out if I see something that bothers me, but it eats away at me inside a little bit.
05/20/2013
Contributor: Feisty Feisty
I'm a jealous person...
05/20/2013
Contributor: Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by butts
I've definitely noticed that being jealous is the norm, and I feel a bit out of place! I'm not a jealous person, if anything, my partner taught me to be more jealous than I am naturally. I just don't feel very threatened by other people ... more
Well join the club; your post could have been written by either one of us
05/20/2013
Contributor: ginnyluvspotter ginnyluvspotter
Yes I can get what I call a little grumpy at times
05/20/2013
Contributor: married with children married with children
I don't get jealous at all.
05/20/2013
Contributor: joiedejouets joiedejouets
It all depends, in certain situations I can feel very jealous and I hate that feeling. I'm not threatened easily.
05/20/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I have no insecurities about my wife running off with someone else - but I am sometimes jealous of how much time she spends at work.
05/21/2013
Contributor: butts butts
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
Well join the club; your post could have been written by either one of us
thank god I'm not alone
05/21/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by butts
I've definitely noticed that being jealous is the norm, and I feel a bit out of place! I'm not a jealous person, if anything, my partner taught me to be more jealous than I am naturally. I just don't feel very threatened by other people ... more
I am insanely jealous but also very logical. If I can see past my initial knee jerk reaction to what is prompting the fear response I can usually get past the jealousy without causing major drama.
Being poly has not taken away my jealousy or fear of abandonment but it has given me tools to manage it and improve my happiness.
05/21/2013
Contributor: Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
(Review Program Mentor)
For me it depended on the relationship. If loved but was not "in love" with who I was with, I was not jealous. If I lost that man, it was not a big deal because I wasn't that connected. When I found someone I really loved, I became much more jealous because I had something to protect.

Unless you are in an open relationship, I think it is disrespectful for someone to hit on your partner in front of you or for your partner to hit on anyone.
05/22/2013
Contributor: Honeymuffin33 Honeymuffin33
I was a pretty jealous/paranoid person before due to an emotionally abusive but I've been getting better over the past year.
05/23/2013
Contributor: bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by butts
I've definitely noticed that being jealous is the norm, and I feel a bit out of place! I'm not a jealous person, if anything, my partner taught me to be more jealous than I am naturally. I just don't feel very threatened by other people ... more
It took being in many different kinds of relationships for me to notice that my jealousy reactions are varied. It depends on how open and honest our communication is. The worse we communicate, the worse my jealousy is.
05/31/2013
Contributor: curious kitten curious kitten
When you know you are loved, there is no reason to be jealous.
05/31/2013
Contributor: Bubba29 Bubba29
i am so UN-jealous i want to watch my wife have sex with the hottest man she could imagine. i get turned on by it. she is not into it and is a jealous person though. i am a very confident person and separate sex from love. she isn't like me.
05/31/2013
Contributor: sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
I'm a very jealous person, and I dare say that it has been the downfall of a few of my relationships. I wish I didn't get so jealous, but there are just times where I cannot help it, at all.
05/31/2013
Contributor: friendswithfangs friendswithfangs
I can be very, very jealous, and it's probably one of my least favorite traits about myself. It's something I really want to work past, but I've got very low self-confidence, so it's extremely difficult.
06/01/2013
Contributor: KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
I can get jealous, but it takes a lot to bring me to that point. My boyfriend, on the other hand, doesn't get jealous at all.
06/05/2013
Contributor: bratcat bratcat
I would say i can be mildly jealous, but most of the time i get upset when others cross boundaries and makes upset/uncomfortable. for me this is when someone openly flirts with my partner and touches them in an inappropriate way. It doesnt make me jealous, just mad.
there have been a few times i've been jealous of other women in our relationship, but it mostly was because i wasn't having fun with them.
06/05/2013
Contributor: Kodie Kodie
Quote:
Originally posted by butts
I've definitely noticed that being jealous is the norm, and I feel a bit out of place! I'm not a jealous person, if anything, my partner taught me to be more jealous than I am naturally. I just don't feel very threatened by other people ... more
I have never been a jealous person and like you when I see a person check him out I don't get mad, I think ha but I have him. I have always been that way.
06/23/2013
Contributor: HisLittleFiend HisLittleFiend
I'm usually not a jealous person. My jealousy struggles have nothing to do with my relationships with other people- it's usually a "I wish I had her body" thing, which I think is a different set of circumstances lol. I don't think I've ever really been the jealous type, but also I think I have always trusted to a fault.

The only time I get "jealous" honestly is when *I* want time with him and other people are getting it I tend to be kind of needy and want snuggles 24/7 (we joke about my "snuggle quota" not being met if he isn't snuggling with me at all times) so if he hasn't had the time to be with me but will do other things, sometimes I get irritated. I'm jealous of his dog right now because he gets snuggles every night while he is working over the summer ):

But as I said, with flirting or other people wanting him, it doesn't really matter to me. I trust him fully.

Boyfriend on the other hand is super jealous. We're trying to work past it and build up his ability to trust after his ex.
07/21/2013
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
For me, it depends on the relationships and situations. My first husband is a woman magnet, and I used to get extremely jealous when I saw woman flocked to him, and he doesn't seem to mind. My current husband is totally different from my first, and handles that type of situation in a very proper manner; I'm totally confident with him and will never feel jealous even when he's talking to other women.
07/21/2013
Contributor: Babylove09 Babylove09
Quote:
Originally posted by butts
I've definitely noticed that being jealous is the norm, and I feel a bit out of place! I'm not a jealous person, if anything, my partner taught me to be more jealous than I am naturally. I just don't feel very threatened by other people ... more
I am very jealous. I wouldn't be the jealous type if my husband didn't screw me over right after we had our son! Now he can't have chick friends and whenever he goes somewhere me and my son go with him. Also being that he stared at this girls breast the whole time we were around her then told me well thats what they are there for! who does that?
07/21/2013
Contributor: wicked48 wicked48
Not jealous at all.
07/21/2013
Contributor: Tangerine Tangerine
Very jealous my SO tells me. I'm not scared that anyone would take her or that she would leave. I call it more territorial than anything. I don't like it at all when someone has the audacity to think that it's okay to come into my bubble. Lol I don't know how else to explain it.
09/02/2013
Contributor: chibi1091 chibi1091
Quote:
Originally posted by butts
I've definitely noticed that being jealous is the norm, and I feel a bit out of place! I'm not a jealous person, if anything, my partner taught me to be more jealous than I am naturally. I just don't feel very threatened by other people ... more
I'm not jealous at all
09/15/2013