Is you other half bi-polar?

Contributor: ShanShan83 ShanShan83
My boyfriend is bi-polar and I having a hard time dealing with it even tho I have been trying so hard to be there for him in his down time. We have only been back together for about 2 and a half months but hes good qualities keep me strong and I dont see a really reason to break up, plus I feel he needs my support. So if anyones knows what I am talking about please id like to hear from you. Thanks
11/20/2010
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Contributor: Destri Destri
Quote:
Originally posted by ShanShan83
My boyfriend is bi-polar and I having a hard time dealing with it even tho I have been trying so hard to be there for him in his down time. We have only been back together for about 2 and a half months but hes good qualities keep me strong and I ... more
I was married for 25 years to a bi-polar man. I am sorry to say that my experience is not that favorable. Is your boyfriend on meds? Believe me, he needs to be. And once on them he needs to stay on them, and that can be a problem. A lof of bi-polars tend to go off their meds during manic phases.

They tend to engage in high risk behaviors when they are manic as well. They feel as if they can do anything and that rules do not apply to them. Many of them use illegal drugs and drink alcohol as a way to self medicate.

I think it is admirable that you want to be supportive, but don't become a care giver. I strongly suggest you go to a support group for people involved with bi polars. NAMI can help you find a group near you:

link

good luck
11/20/2010
Contributor: VanillaCupcake VanillaCupcake
Quote:
Originally posted by ShanShan83
My boyfriend is bi-polar and I having a hard time dealing with it even tho I have been trying so hard to be there for him in his down time. We have only been back together for about 2 and a half months but hes good qualities keep me strong and I ... more
I can see how your boyfriend may feel because I'm also bi-polar, and know that I put some burdens on my boyfriend at times. Its true that we hardly know what we are saying/doing when we are manic or depressed, its like a new person comes out. I consistantly find myself apologizing after an episode, start fights when im manic, and just cry when im depressed. My boyfriend has been amazing by just being there but also not catering to me too much. For instance, when I'm depressed I'll tell him that I cant trust him because I dont have the capabilities to (Which only happens when im depressed) and all he does is remind me that I dont normally think that way and to just get through it.
If you havent already, there are some great books geared towards those who are in relationships with someone who is bi-polar, it may even help for you to see a therapist to talk about how you can deal with helping him without forgetting about yourself!
03/07/2011
Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
I'm bi-polar and I know that maintaining a relationship can be a real struggle. Hopefully he'll learn to accept the love and support you give him.
03/07/2011
Contributor: cec578 cec578
I'm bipolar and prior to my current partner I had never been in love because I felt that no one could accept my crazies other than myself. Additionally I never wanted to burden anyone with them, but with such a large portion of me missing in past relationships love could never occur
I told my current partner this and despite my multiple warnings he said he wanted to continue things, as he knew what to expcet since many of his family memebers suffer from mental illness as well.
It's going to be difficult, and many times you're going to want to give up (every episode I have I ALWAYS call things off, but he ignores them becuse he knows its not me talking). Just be there to listen when he asks, but if he doesn't want help don't help him, there may be times he might not be able to tell you he loves you becuase at times he doesn't love himself and therefore can't love someone else. But once it passes it will be old him again. I know for us we developed a satire system for my crazies which really helps
Bipolar people can be the most wonderful people in the world always filled with suprises, large quantities of creativity, not to mention a never ending sex drive. Its rare that we feel comfortable enough to give our entire selves over to someone else and often time feel like we don't deserve love. It's going to be hard, but to someone suffering from bipolar disorder finding just someone who understands and is willing to stick around makes us feel a million times better about ourselves and when they aren't in a manic episode will treat you like a god for being able to put up with them.
Also medication is another issue, I know I hate taking mine and sometimes still don't but after a bad recent break I realized that my partener doesn't deserve for me to treat him that way, and I am taking my pills for him, and its a real great encouragment and makes me a lot more regular with taking them
03/19/2011