Ladies, what would be your reaction if you started dating a guy you really liked and had a future with if he told you he had experimented with guys a little after college?

Contributor: Miss Anonymous Miss Anonymous
I feel whats done in the past, should stay in the past. I see nothing wrong with it. He was trying to find himself. He tried it, and relaized it isnt for him. I personally see nothing wrong with it. It would be a different story if he was with me, and another guy. Cheating is not cool! ha-ha
07/12/2011
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
Not turned on really but it wouldn't bother me.
07/12/2011
Contributor: Anjulie Anjulie
For me, the past is the past--so it wouldnt bother me.
07/12/2011
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Ummmm the 'college girlfriend experience' is almost a given for women so why would it be horrible for a guy to do the same thing? I want a guy who is secure enough to know what he wants...and adventurous enough to try things. SO long as he ... more
Yes! Great answer.
07/12/2011
Contributor: mistressg mistressg
Quote:
Originally posted by NarcissisticLust
I would be really curious but slightly put off. What did he do, why etc. It would not change our relationship dynamic but it would be a little strange to process at first.
Agree. I wouldn't be terribly put off, but I would be..taken aback? If I didn't see it coming. Either way, I wouldn't leave them, as long I was sure they were getting what they needed from me and wouldn't go looking for things that I could not give them from a man.
07/12/2011
Contributor: joja joja
Sounds hot.
07/17/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I'd be extremely turned on. He'd have to tell me so many stories he'd probably wish he'd never opened his mouth
07/17/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
It's a thing of the past. I would want to hear about it because I'm curious and want him to know that I'm totally OK with it, but there wouldn't be any pressure to share and I wouldn't fixate on it.
07/17/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i have no issue with it to be honest, we all have to find ourselves one way or another. it would be kind of a turn on for me
07/17/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I wouldn't be fond of going into a relationship like that. Many reasons, but one thing would be I wouldn't want to worry that he would randomly up and leave for a man. I just wouldn't be comfortable with it and wouldn't be able to provide for the needs he would have.
07/18/2011
Contributor: daveysgirl daveysgirl
not kind of man i want!
08/17/2011
Contributor: Cherrylane Cherrylane
As long as he was interested in me, as a girl, now, and was looking for the same sort of relationship at that point in time as I was, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

If he wanted to be committed and I did too, that's great.

Now, if he wanted to continue to experiment and play with other men as well as me and/or other women, that would be fine if I were also looking for a casual open relationship.

I think the only thing that would change is I would be a lot more persistent about consistent use of contraceptives in all of our activities as well as urging him to do it religiously with all of his other partners. I'm pretty persistent about it anyway, but the nature of some of the activities he may do with other men may present a higher risk of contracting certain STIs for him, and in turn present a higher risk that I could contract something from him. If he seemed at all disinterested in doing what was necessary to ensure his and my continued sexual health and safety, I would end it immediately. I don't consider that negotiable.
11/12/2011
Contributor: GonetoLovehoney GonetoLovehoney
I wouldn't give a damn. It's what he enjoyed doing and as long as he was safe about it, I see no issue.
11/12/2011
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
That would be so much of a turn on. Holy snap.
11/12/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I wouldn't care. Why would same-sex sexual experience be any different from hetero sexual experience? If he loves me and wants to be with me, then I don't care who he fooled around with in the past. Too much of a double standard there, which I don't like.
11/12/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Ummmm the 'college girlfriend experience' is almost a given for women so why would it be horrible for a guy to do the same thing? I want a guy who is secure enough to know what he wants...and adventurous enough to try things. SO long as he ... more
Ok, I was trying to say this. LOL Ditto this. Too much of a double standard for too many people.
11/12/2011
Contributor: wrmbreze wrmbreze
I would say its in the past, no big deal because in all new relationships like that both partners need to be tested whether the partners were male or female. I would be hesitant though at the thought that he might leave me for a guy, so I would have to make sure he felt about me, what I felt for him.
11/12/2011
Contributor: northstar northstar
I don't think it's a big deal, as it doesn't mean that he would want to cheat or necessarily experience another man whilst in a committed relationship.
11/14/2011
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Trillian
Just curious about what women think about this topic as it might effect them personally
Turned off.
11/26/2011
Contributor: voenne voenne
As long as he was continuously honest and had the ability to stay faithful to me alone, I wouldn't care if he still he had lingering attraction for other guys. If it was just in the past, and he got tested for std's and everything, that's fine. I don't see how it would affect our relationship.
11/26/2011
Contributor: Tangerine Tangerine
I myself am I BiSexual, I get it, I do. But I would never date a guy that is, was, or even tried it. Just my personal preference
12/29/2011
Contributor: Silverdrop Silverdrop
My response "That is SO hot! Can we have a MMF threesome?"
12/30/2011
Contributor: switzerland switzerland
i don't think it's a big deal at all. he's clearly comfortable with himself and his sexuality. i commend him!
12/30/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Personally, I think it depends on the situation entirely. Did he come right out and tell me? Did he ever lie about it somehow? Does he still have any feelings for anyone he messed around with?

To me, a guy messing around with, experimenting, having sex with, or WHATEVER with another guy is not a problem. Fact is, I prefer to partner myself with bisexual males, and have actually NEVER been with a straight man before and I don't know if I'd really want to. I am pansexual, so if the love is there the love is there, genitals don't count for a thing when it comes to who I love, and if he played around with guys well then good for him!

I may be a bit turned on, but that is because that plays into my preference.

THAT being said, if I didn't find out FIRST from him, if he tried to lie about it if I'd ever asked, or if he still held feelings for the person(s) I'd have an issue with it. Going into an open relationship would make it okay, but if he "experimented", that means he isn't really planning on doing that, and feelings can be an issue in those cases!
12/30/2011
Contributor: BobbiJay BobbiJay
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Ummmm the 'college girlfriend experience' is almost a given for women so why would it be horrible for a guy to do the same thing? I want a guy who is secure enough to know what he wants...and adventurous enough to try things. SO long as he ... more
Well said.
01/21/2012
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
It'd be a turn off to me
01/23/2012
Contributor: geliebt geliebt
I'm not at all turned on by any guy on guy stuff, but it wouldn't be an issue for me. I mean hell, I did kiss a girl many years ago (just once- not a fan XD) and I've done my share of other fooling around, so what's wrong with a little experimenting on his end?
01/25/2012
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I'd need a little time to let it sink in, but it wouldn't really bother me long term.

Mind you, if he still wanted to be with guys from time to time, it may be another story. I love watching two strange guys together in porn, but I wouldn't find it a turn on to see a guy I had feelings for with another guy.
01/25/2012
Contributor: dks210 dks210
I would be turned off at the idea, but it's his past.
02/05/2012
Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
It wouldn't be an issue for me, I'm queer and generally prefer dating other queer people. The only thing that would worry me would be if he was really ashamed about it, because that equals some internalized homophobia.
07/26/2012