If you're in a long term relationship, and you come to a point where there's a state line or two (or four) between you, can it still work out?
Long term and long distance, can it work?
01/24/2011
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It can work if BOTH parties work at it and if there is mutual trust. It does get hard and there are fights, just like in any other relationship. My fella & I are long-distanced and we've been together for over 2 years now.
01/25/2011
I think it can work if one of the couple plans on moving back at some point but I can't imagine ever being in a long term long distance relationship with no permanent moving back together in the foreseeable future.
01/25/2011
My boyfriend have been doing this for over 3 years and we've been long distance for 2 years.
We see each other maybe three times a year if we're lucky.
It's very very difficult.
And we do argue. He's not a phone guy, or a random email guy.
So he doesn't call often and he works a lot of hours. There has to be a lot of trust.
And it can be difficult especially since my boyfriend can have some shady friends, who seem to have shitty morals.
It's difficult, but as long as you two are on the same page of keeping it exclusive and trustful and willing to do little things to keep close, it'll work.
I text my boyfriend random questions, really thoughtful questions and we play WoW together
We see each other maybe three times a year if we're lucky.
It's very very difficult.
And we do argue. He's not a phone guy, or a random email guy.
So he doesn't call often and he works a lot of hours. There has to be a lot of trust.
And it can be difficult especially since my boyfriend can have some shady friends, who seem to have shitty morals.
It's difficult, but as long as you two are on the same page of keeping it exclusive and trustful and willing to do little things to keep close, it'll work.
I text my boyfriend random questions, really thoughtful questions and we play WoW together
01/25/2011
Hubby and I were a state away from the time we met til the time we married (4 years)....Been married nearly 7 now.
01/25/2011
Yes it can work out. I had two long distant relationships before.
01/25/2011
Absolutely, if both people are willing to make it work and they do things to keep the connection tight. Webcam chats, little emails, notes, pictures, etc are great ways to say hey I'm thinking of you even if we can't be together right now.
The hardest part about a LDR-LTR is what happens when you finally come together under the same roof. Real life is drastically different than an email or a webchat. With the aforementioned forms of communication, one has time to cull the proper words instead of just reacting to a situation or statement the other has made in real time.
The hardest part about a LDR-LTR is what happens when you finally come together under the same roof. Real life is drastically different than an email or a webchat. With the aforementioned forms of communication, one has time to cull the proper words instead of just reacting to a situation or statement the other has made in real time.
01/25/2011
Yes It can work if they both work at it & are honest with each other!!
01/25/2011
Quote:
Yes, yes and absolute yes about coming together.
Originally posted by
PussyGalore
Absolutely, if both people are willing to make it work and they do things to keep the connection tight. Webcam chats, little emails, notes, pictures, etc are great ways to say hey I'm thinking of you even if we can't be together right
...
more
Absolutely, if both people are willing to make it work and they do things to keep the connection tight. Webcam chats, little emails, notes, pictures, etc are great ways to say hey I'm thinking of you even if we can't be together right now.
The hardest part about a LDR-LTR is what happens when you finally come together under the same roof. Real life is drastically different than an email or a webchat. With the aforementioned forms of communication, one has time to cull the proper words instead of just reacting to a situation or statement the other has made in real time. less
The hardest part about a LDR-LTR is what happens when you finally come together under the same roof. Real life is drastically different than an email or a webchat. With the aforementioned forms of communication, one has time to cull the proper words instead of just reacting to a situation or statement the other has made in real time. less
The first time my boyfriend and I hung out after being apart so long was so awkward.
I never noticed how many weird expressions he made, and it irked me
And I felt nervous cause as much as I talked about wanting to kiss him, I felt nervous all over again.
You really have to keep that connection strong. It really is work.
Bake cookies, write letters.
01/25/2011
Going on 4 years for me, him on the other side of the country, it's still going.
01/25/2011
We were 2 years long distance. It's hard but it can work. (and man am I glad we're finally living together. I love a happy ending!)
01/25/2011
Can I say yes, but not likely?
01/25/2011
It can work, but you need to make sure there's complete, open communication. Have realistic expectations.
01/25/2011
Quote:
Yeah, you have to be realistic.
Originally posted by
potstickers
It can work, but you need to make sure there's complete, open communication. Have realistic expectations.
Despite the love, you can't expect him to spend every waking moment texting you, emailing you, on the phone with you or anything like that.
He will go out sometimes.
01/25/2011
It definitely can cause problems and both partners have to make an effort to make it work.
01/25/2011
Usually depends on the people involved some people i dated long distance couldn't do it.
01/25/2011
As long as both people in the relationship are willing to work with each other. A long-distance relationship can be quite successful. (although a lot harder than most other relationships)
01/25/2011
if you are both honest and trust each other, then it will work. It is hard work, but any relationship is.
01/25/2011
Quote:
I play WoW with my girl, too. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
Originally posted by
Illusional
My boyfriend have been doing this for over 3 years and we've been long distance for 2 years.
We see each other maybe three times a year if we're lucky.
It's very very difficult.
And we do argue. He's not a phone guy, or a ... more
We see each other maybe three times a year if we're lucky.
It's very very difficult.
And we do argue. He's not a phone guy, or a ... more
My boyfriend have been doing this for over 3 years and we've been long distance for 2 years.
We see each other maybe three times a year if we're lucky.
It's very very difficult.
And we do argue. He's not a phone guy, or a random email guy.
So he doesn't call often and he works a lot of hours. There has to be a lot of trust.
And it can be difficult especially since my boyfriend can have some shady friends, who seem to have shitty morals.
It's difficult, but as long as you two are on the same page of keeping it exclusive and trustful and willing to do little things to keep close, it'll work.
I text my boyfriend random questions, really thoughtful questions and we play WoW together less
We see each other maybe three times a year if we're lucky.
It's very very difficult.
And we do argue. He's not a phone guy, or a random email guy.
So he doesn't call often and he works a lot of hours. There has to be a lot of trust.
And it can be difficult especially since my boyfriend can have some shady friends, who seem to have shitty morals.
It's difficult, but as long as you two are on the same page of keeping it exclusive and trustful and willing to do little things to keep close, it'll work.
I text my boyfriend random questions, really thoughtful questions and we play WoW together less
01/26/2011
Quote:
I've actually had this issue in roommate situations before. I'm hoping we can work it out enough to be patient with each other when the time finally comes.
Originally posted by
PussyGalore
Absolutely, if both people are willing to make it work and they do things to keep the connection tight. Webcam chats, little emails, notes, pictures, etc are great ways to say hey I'm thinking of you even if we can't be together right
...
more
Absolutely, if both people are willing to make it work and they do things to keep the connection tight. Webcam chats, little emails, notes, pictures, etc are great ways to say hey I'm thinking of you even if we can't be together right now.
The hardest part about a LDR-LTR is what happens when you finally come together under the same roof. Real life is drastically different than an email or a webchat. With the aforementioned forms of communication, one has time to cull the proper words instead of just reacting to a situation or statement the other has made in real time. less
The hardest part about a LDR-LTR is what happens when you finally come together under the same roof. Real life is drastically different than an email or a webchat. With the aforementioned forms of communication, one has time to cull the proper words instead of just reacting to a situation or statement the other has made in real time. less
01/26/2011
Quote:
I don't actually expect that from her, at all. But lack of communication isn't really our problem. Just distance.
Originally posted by
Illusional
Yeah, you have to be realistic.
Despite the love, you can't expect him to spend every waking moment texting you, emailing you, on the phone with you or anything like that.
He will go out sometimes.
Despite the love, you can't expect him to spend every waking moment texting you, emailing you, on the phone with you or anything like that.
He will go out sometimes.
01/26/2011
Quote:
Well, I love to bake, so that much is no problem.
Originally posted by
Illusional
Yes, yes and absolute yes about coming together.
The first time my boyfriend and I hung out after being apart so long was so awkward.
I never noticed how many weird expressions he made, and it irked me
And I felt nervous cause as much as I ... more
The first time my boyfriend and I hung out after being apart so long was so awkward.
I never noticed how many weird expressions he made, and it irked me
And I felt nervous cause as much as I ... more
Yes, yes and absolute yes about coming together.
The first time my boyfriend and I hung out after being apart so long was so awkward.
I never noticed how many weird expressions he made, and it irked me
And I felt nervous cause as much as I talked about wanting to kiss him, I felt nervous all over again.
You really have to keep that connection strong. It really is work.
Bake cookies, write letters. less
The first time my boyfriend and I hung out after being apart so long was so awkward.
I never noticed how many weird expressions he made, and it irked me
And I felt nervous cause as much as I talked about wanting to kiss him, I felt nervous all over again.
You really have to keep that connection strong. It really is work.
Bake cookies, write letters. less
01/26/2011
Not for long. I am basing this on personal experience. I was in the military.
01/26/2011
very unlikely. both parties would have to give the relationship the best they got.
01/26/2011
Quote:
Sounds wonderful!
Originally posted by
inbarati
Well, I love to bake, so that much is no problem.
01/26/2011
Quote:
I dated a Seabee, once. I waited for him for just over a year, while he was on deployment. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. The waiting is hard.
Originally posted by
Penguin
Not for long. I am basing this on personal experience. I was in the military.
I hope you'll forgive me if I hope you're wrong, though.
01/27/2011
Quote:
There wasn't any lack of communication in ours either, but as soon as we were apart, I realized how much he wasn't a phone person and I am not a texting person, so we've had to make due and make small changes to things.
Originally posted by
inbarati
I don't actually expect that from her, at all. But lack of communication isn't really our problem. Just distance.
01/27/2011
Quote:
I think if the relationship was firmely based before the distance and the distance isn't permanent, then yes. I do not, however, believe that it will work if it was a week or two meeting and promises were made. Goood relationships have physical and emotional needs that are fulfilled. A lack of any of these creates problems. Love is love, but don't be misled if it was too quick at the get-go. It's your life, so you decide if you think your needs will be fulfilled, but remember, life is short so don't hang on if you have any doubts to the future of it.
Originally posted by
inbarati
If you're in a long term relationship, and you come to a point where there's a state line or two (or four) between you, can it still work out?
01/27/2011
If you already have a sound relationship with trust and boundaries established, a relationship long distance can work. I've been in several that didn't work, but we didn't have the foundation for a good relationship anyway. You need patience as well because it sure isn't easy to be away from your partner for any length of time.
Just stay strong, stay confident, and know that your relationship will stand the test of times if it's meant to be.
Just stay strong, stay confident, and know that your relationship will stand the test of times if it's meant to be.
01/27/2011
It can definitely work. My wife and I were in college two states apart, and a 3 and a half hour drive, and we made it work. We started the relationship at that distance, and then she moved a state closer and it was a 2 hour drive.
01/27/2011