The New Intimacy

Male Masturbators and Sex Drive

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Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
Since the first few months of my relationship with my current boyfriend of 2 years, I have always had to initiate sex. This is new for me, I'm 22, fit, and attractive, and the men I've been with have always initiated sex.
About a year ago I found a large amount of porn dvds and a couple male masturbators, including a fleshlight and the realtouch interactive one, under his sink our the bathroom.

At least his lack of interest in sex with me didn't mean he was with another woman, however, it still hurt my feelings a bit.

Do male masturbators feel better than the real thing? What would you do in this situation?

It drives me crazy when I come home from spending the night at a girlfriends and theres porn dvds around the tv. I don't have a problem with sex toys or porn, but I'd take the real thing over them every time!
12/13/2012
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Contributor: mikeysPlace mikeysPlace
2nd that thought. I would pick the real thing every time. My first reaction would be that he's just not that into sexually...
12/13/2012
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
Quote:
Originally posted by mikeysPlace
2nd that thought. I would pick the real thing every time. My first reaction would be that he's just not that into sexually...
He's in his late 30's, he says he just doesn't have a sex drive. When I ask him about it he says that jacking off is easier and less work than actual sex. He came on to me in the begining.. I just don't get it, I wish I did.
12/13/2012
Contributor: burtnuh burtnuh
My boyfriend and I had an argument about this once. We hadn't had sex in months but there would be porn on the computer. He said he felt like our schedules conflicted so much that sex wasn't the best way to spend the small about of time we had together. It didn't make me feel any better.
12/13/2012
Contributor: married with children married with children
have you sat down and had a talk with him about your feelings?
12/13/2012
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
Quote:
Originally posted by married with children
have you sat down and had a talk with him about your feelings?
Yes, but when we talk it usually results in him getting defensive and ends with him saying "I just don't care about sex anymore!". We're working on it, he has a lot of walls up, I'm just trying to show him that I love him and I want to figure it out with him.

So it goes. Just frustrating when you get along with someone so well in ever other way, except for this one MAJOR (important!) thing!

12/19/2012
Contributor: justart justart
Quote:
Originally posted by evie.amor
Since the first few months of my relationship with my current boyfriend of 2 years, I have always had to initiate sex. This is new for me, I'm 22, fit, and attractive, and the men I've been with have always initiated sex.
About a year ago ... more
Definitely not better than the real thing. In fact, the fake ones are nothing at all like the real thing. And if he had no sex drive, he wouldn't be watching porn. In my humble opinion, you only turn to porn when you do have a sex drive and that's the only option. It can never replace the real thing.
01/04/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
Okay, I'd like to post an update. We've been talking and he's been really stressed the past year and lately the stress has been lifting. His mood has definitely improved. He's more playful and is wanting to have sex! Yay!!!

When I'm stressed sex can help relieve me, but I guess this isn't true for everyone.
01/04/2013