Sex after miscarraige...

Sex after miscarraige...

tffnyandrs tffnyandrs
In early March I found out I was pregnant with baby #2 and was ecstatic. We immediately shared the news with family, friends, and our church. 3 weeks later I started hurting and the bleeding that never stopped increased and we made our way to the hospital to be told there was no heart be and should have been. The catch? There was a few days before. Our baby died. Now we are having trouble getting back into the swing of things sexually speaking. I had a DNC which put out of 'service' for a week. Now that's all over what should we do to reconnect to that feeling we had before our loss? I'm not sure if it's the fear of a new pregnancy (yes we are now using protection, we can't go back through that again) or the loss of that feeling of sexiness I used to have! Any advice!!!!!
04/18/2011
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Shaelote Shaelote
Quote:
Originally posted by tffnyandrs
In early March I found out I was pregnant with baby #2 and was ecstatic. We immediately shared the news with family, friends, and our church. 3 weeks later I started hurting and the bleeding that never stopped increased and we made our way to the ...
I'm so sorry to hear this! I've never dealt with this before, so please forgive me if this is assvice...

I personally think that this is a two-fold issue. What can you do to make yourself feel sexy again? Do you feel sexy when you dress up and wear certain outfits? Is there a particular activity or thought process that makes you feel sexier? What can you do for you to make yourself feel that way?

As far as you and your husband... I think taking it slow is a good idea. Just be together - how did you start being intimate in the beginning? Go back to the start - kissing, touching, etc - just take your time and know that you'll heal together.
04/18/2011
FREE MR PERRY FREE MR PERRY
Quote:
Originally posted by tffnyandrs
In early March I found out I was pregnant with baby #2 and was ecstatic. We immediately shared the news with family, friends, and our church. 3 weeks later I started hurting and the bleeding that never stopped increased and we made our way to the ...
I have been through this before and me my partner just took things slow like the first time we meet.
04/18/2011
tffnyandrs tffnyandrs
Quote:
Originally posted by Shaelote
I'm so sorry to hear this! I've never dealt with this before, so please forgive me if this is assvice...



I personally think that this is a two-fold issue. What can you do to make yourself feel sexy again? Do you feel sexy ...
Thanks for the advice! We are working through it slowly that's for sure! And I like the idea of wearing stuff to make me feel the part! I think I'll use that as an excuse to pick up a few new things!
04/21/2011
tffnyandrs tffnyandrs
Quote:
Originally posted by FREE MR PERRY
I have been through this before and me my partner just took things slow like the first time we meet.
Thanks for the advice and I am so sorry for your loss! I guess you truly know what it is like to go through this and understand how hard it truly is!! Thanks!
04/21/2011
K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by tffnyandrs
In early March I found out I was pregnant with baby #2 and was ecstatic. We immediately shared the news with family, friends, and our church. 3 weeks later I started hurting and the bleeding that never stopped increased and we made our way to the ...
Oh my! I am so sorry for your loss. I too, have miscarried twice, both in the same year due to female issues and am unable to have kids now. I know it's an extremely hard thing to go through and it does take time to get back to normal.

I was very uncomfortable with my entire self after we lost our children. We eventually did get back to normal, but I honeslty don't know anything that helps because nothing helped me at all. I eventually started feeling better and not so down after a year had passed. It's been over 2 years now and we're back to normal in the bedroom. I think you should definitely take all the time you need to mourn. It can be super hard if you dont. The first baby that we lost, I cried for days and then decided I wasn't allowed to be upset anymore and totally stuffed it all in. It does and WILL come out sooner or later! Doing that was the worst thing I could've done.

The only thing in the world that made me feel any better was the empathy and help from my partner and just friends making sure I was OK made a difference. I also find that after time has passed and you can actually stand to look at other children without flipping out, being with them is really soothing. We take care of my nephews so it takes a lot of the burden of things off on the both of us, we channel the energy into them instead and I can't even say how grateful I am to get to do that.

I felt so unsexy for months afterward too. My thighs had grew huge! You do go back to normal though. Depending on how far along you were, but it shouldn't be long and you'll be looking like your old self again. I think really pretty lingerie was my biggest help in the sexy dept. Wearing something pretty that flatters your body gives you a boost. & He will still see you just as sexy as you were before the pregnancy, I'm sure of it! You could always try going for something new.

I chopped my hair off and died the bottom section neon pink immediately after I lost my first baby. I ended up keeping the cut & still have it and left the pink hair for nearly a year. but to do such an enormous change made me feel alive when I wanted to die. I also found things to do that made me feel like I was worth something. It helps. I would really consider taking up a hobby, I know that's not exactly helpful in the feeling sexy dept. but it will give you relaxation and something to focus your energy on. I started designing acrylic nails shortly after & I even enrolled in college. I done everything I could to make sure I was never still enough to let myself get crazy. I ended up making a small business out of my nail designs and am still doing it and about to graduate!

I think a huge change can be just what you need, especially if you're like me. Whether it's a big haircut, wearing sparkles on your eye lids, or just learning to sew, it can be life changing. For feeling sexy, nothing much helped me besides tanning and excercising my a** off! Lol Remember, everything will look just like it did in no time.
04/23/2011
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 4