The New Intimacy

Should he always open doors for you??

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Contributor: southernhawtie southernhawtie
How many of you think that ur man should always open doors for you?

MY BF does this for me and I have noticed that we get a lot of stares....and some women have even said things to their BF's about it. Like u should do that for me. Or Y do u never open doors for me?
12/03/2010
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Contributor: J's Alley J's Alley
It bugs the hell out of me when my brother-in-law does it for his girl. It seems like he's trying to hard. But, when we're out somewhere J will get the door...just not the car door because I get all pissy that I have to wait for him to turn the car on.
12/03/2010
Contributor: ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
My boyfriend always opens the door for me, but if I get to it first, I'll open it for him. Pretty much whoever gets there first hold it for the next person. Just seems polite. He has had girlfriends freak out about it before, but actually the opposite way. Like, they were angry he held the door for them because they thought it meant he thought they were helpless little women who couldn't do it themselves. He was just being polite! I understand and am cool with feminism, but that seems like going a bit overboard to me.
12/03/2010
Contributor: Kindred Kindred
I was raised to hold the door open for anyone out of politeness. However, my favorite is when you hold it open for a stranger and they walk through without so much as a thank you or even an acknowledgment of your existence.
12/03/2010
Contributor: Kim! Kim!
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I was raised to hold the door open for anyone out of politeness. However, my favorite is when you hold it open for a stranger and they walk through without so much as a thank you or even an acknowledgment of your existence.
And those are the same people you know perfectly well will not so much as give a door an extra shove when you're a few steps behind them.

If he's going out of the way it seems a little awkward to me. It isn't if he is right there and just politely holds it rather than racing ahead of your to grab it and making a big show of the whole thing.
12/03/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I was raised to hold the door open for anyone out of politeness. However, my favorite is when you hold it open for a stranger and they walk through without so much as a thank you or even an acknowledgment of your existence.
I know I'm kind of an ass for doing it, but that's the point at which I generally clear my throat and say 'you're welcome'. Not classy, I know, but who said I always have to be.
12/03/2010
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
I also was raised to hold the door open for anyone out of politeness, this is especial true for my wife. Why?, because I am a gentlemen. Call me old fashion, but I just feel it is the courteous thing to do.

I will always say thanks to those that do the same.
12/03/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
How many of you think that ur man should always open doors for you?

MY BF does this for me and I have noticed that we get a lot of stares....and some women have even said things to their BF's about it. Like u should do that for me. Or Y do ... more
I think a gentleman opens doors for women. Also, a nice woman will open doors for men with packages or babies or men who are elderly or need some help.

I love when My Man opens doors for me. He wasn't taught to do this, so it took years of standing my ground, waiting for him to get the idea, by not moving, until he started to do it. It's one of the few passive aggressive things I've ever done in our relationship, but he was raised with NO manners, I mean NONE. Even though he's very Alpha Male type, he still needs me to teach him some things.

He gets it now.

I am always courteous and grateful when a gentleman opens a door for me.
12/03/2010
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
I wish the boyfriend would always open doors, but he doesn't. I think it'd be nice if he would though. I wish other guys would too, but they don't. I kinda feel like it'd be something nice if our culture still would.
12/03/2010
Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
He should always do things that show you he cares, and if opening doors is one of those things, then yes he should always do it.

I second everyone's comments that it's just polite to hold the door open for other people too.
12/03/2010
Contributor: leatherlover leatherlover
It really just depends on where you grew up or live. I was born and raised down in Georgia, so I do it all the time. However, my wife, who grew up in Massachusetts, but went to college in South Carolina, will get strange stares when she does it back in Mass. Right now being in Virginia, I don't see strangers do it too often. But I will still do it for my wife, and she will do it for me on occasion as well.
12/03/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
I don't think holding open doors is strictly a male or female thing, just a polite thing like others have said. I hold open doors for everyone; it's an old polite habit.

I personally think whoever gets to the door first has the option of opening it for the other, but I don't think anyone in a relationship should automatically require their SO to always open doors for them. If it works for your relationship then that's awesome. But a woman expecting every guy she dates to open all doors for her? That can be fucking annoying.

If I was dating a girl and she was standing in front of a door waiting for me to open it just because she thinks I'm supposed to, I'd be like, "Fuck that. Do it yourself." Now, if I simply got to the door before a girl, I'd hold it open for her. She just shouldn't expect/demand it all the time unless it was agreed upon.
12/03/2010
Contributor: firekitten firekitten
It's just a polite thing to do. I like it personally, and my Dad always taught us that guys should. But maybe that's just a Southern Chivalry thing.
12/03/2010
Contributor: darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
For me, it depends on who got to the door first. If I do, then I will hold it for him. I hated how my ex would go through the door in front of me and let it shut on me. I don't need the door held for me, but if it's going to hit me because you made a move like you were going to hold it, then you should keep holding it.
12/04/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
My boyfriend does this often. I don't think much of it though. I don't wait for him to open the door, he just does it and often walks next to me or in front when we approach a door.
12/04/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
He doesn't open the door for me every time there's door opening involved, but he does it a fair amount. It doesn't bother me when he doesn't, if I get to the door first, I hold it open for him. If there's a set of double doors, one of us will get the first one and the other gets the next generally. Just how it worked out.
12/06/2010
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
The Man usually does for me. It is rare that it is the other way around. It is almost as if he rushes to get there first. I think it is cute. He even opens the car door for me.

I also hold it open for strangers when I am out.
12/06/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
In my relationship, whoever gets there first holds the door open for the other.

Maybe this traditional gesture started because men used to customarily walk in front of women, and thus always reach the door first? Hmmm. At any rate, I like holding the door for others, and I always say 'thank you' when it is done for me. But expect it? No. Not at all. Gestures should be given freely, not demanded.
12/06/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
I expect it while dating and much after married, but now after 5 years of marriage, I don't expect it that much, so when he does make the effort it means more!
12/06/2010
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I never expect my husband to do it, but he does it quite often. It is just one more very sweet gesture that he makes to let me know he wants to take care of me. However, when I reach the door first I open it for him. I never wait for him to get the door.
12/06/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
In my relationship, whoever gets there first holds the door open for the other.

Maybe this traditional gesture started because men used to customarily walk in front of women, and thus always reach the door first? Hmmm. At any rate, I like ... more
Actually the practice came into being during a time when entering a building was dangerous for a woman. The man would open the door, brace for the expected blow and stick his head inside to gauge the safety of it. Generally he would have his shield at the lady's back to protect her. Gradually it became popular manners to 'escourt' a lady into any room. By the 1800's the practice was wide spread and considered a sign of good breeding for a man to tip his hat and open any door for a female. Considering that most often that meant a lady of breeding she had enough to deal with while wearing those ridiculous fashions!

Sigel's Mom pulled me aside when we were 17 or so and told me that he was upset cause I wouldn't let him open doors for me. He has ever since. With Arch it's not so formal but if he remembers he will hold it open for me.
12/06/2010
Contributor: Harlequin Harlequin
Quote:
Originally posted by southernhawtie
How many of you think that ur man should always open doors for you?

MY BF does this for me and I have noticed that we get a lot of stares....and some women have even said things to their BF's about it. Like u should do that for me. Or Y do ... more
my husband always opens doors for me.
12/10/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I don't think holding open doors is strictly a male or female thing, just a polite thing like others have said. I hold open doors for everyone; it's an old polite habit.

I personally think whoever gets to the door first has the option ... more
Ditto.
My boyfriend does it if he gets to the door first or something. But I surely won't sit around in the car until he opens the door for me.
12/10/2010
Contributor: RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
When we first started going out, I wasn't used to it so sometimes I would grab the door before he even reached for it and he would look at me like I was crazy. After a while, I let him open doors for me, but honestly, I started feeling kind of useless and decided that I wasn't the only one in the relationship who deserved having doors held open for them. I'm all about equality in a relationship, so sometimes I open the door for him and sometimes he opens it for me.
12/20/2010
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by RemusHalifax
When we first started going out, I wasn't used to it so sometimes I would grab the door before he even reached for it and he would look at me like I was crazy. After a while, I let him open doors for me, but honestly, I started feeling kind of ... more
Lol, you did the same thing I did. I'd fight over the door with my boyfriend cause I was raised to do things myself.
12/20/2010
Contributor: moonch1ld moonch1ld
I usually then to open them, go through first but make sure it doesn't close on her.
12/20/2010
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
its polite and only a true gentlemen pratices this. im one of the lucky few. my hubbie ever since we meet has been opening the door for me. its a small gesture and i love it and appreciate it every time. i alwasy thank him. the first time my sis saw she looked at me like "wah?!" then looked at her bf and said "hum, not mike"
12/20/2010
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I was raised to hold the door open for anyone out of politeness. However, my favorite is when you hold it open for a stranger and they walk through without so much as a thank you or even an acknowledgment of your existence.
hahah yes love that. when this happens i make a stupid comment to the dumbass. i was holding the door open for an older lady and she pause in front of the door. she didnt want me to hold it for her. didnt even say thank you or bother making eye contact. so i let go and she walked threw. and she almost hit my car. stinkin lady!!
12/20/2010
Contributor: mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
Quote:
Originally posted by Kindred
I was raised to hold the door open for anyone out of politeness. However, my favorite is when you hold it open for a stranger and they walk through without so much as a thank you or even an acknowledgment of your existence.
hahah yes love that. when this happens i make a stupid comment to the dumbass. i was holding the door open for an older lady and she pause in front of the door. she didnt want me to hold it for her. didnt even say thank you or bother making eye contact. so i let go and she walked threw. and she almost hit my car. stinkin lady!!
12/20/2010
Contributor: sbon sbon
I think it's cute when he does, but it's certainly not a requirement or anything. I've opened doors for him. It really depends on who gets to the door first haha.
12/23/2010