Unmarried and Living Together

Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
Times have changed and I say to each their own Do whatever makes you happy
04/23/2012
Contributor: SouthernBelle SouthernBelle
I can't imagine marrying someone without living with them. I've lived with my girlfriend for almost 5 years, and it has played a huge role in knowing we work well together.
05/08/2012
Contributor: SadeGrey SadeGrey
I've been through a lot of tough situations. By the kindness in their hearts, my boyfriend's parents have allowed me to live with them. They offered to let me have / stay in the guest room if I felt uncomfortable sharing a room with him, but here we are, a good bit later and sharing a bed each night. We're respectful of the fact that we are still staying with his parents and we abide by their rules. We try not to be loud and aren't too physical when we're around everyone else. We plan on finding a place of our own when our money situations have straightened out, but I doubt we'll even be married by then. Most likely engaged, from the way that we've talked about it..
I don't think it's strange or awkward, so long as the couple can be respectful of the fact that, hey, they aren't married yet, and there might be others around, you know? -shrug- Otherwise, the world is changing and there are much more effective ways of preventing pregnancy. Sex is also much more openly accepted, rather than shaded in shame. Because of the fact that familial hierarchies aren't as decisive in how your life turns out, you don't have to worry about your reputation so much anymore. If Sue wants to run off with Dick and fool around with Tom, no one is going to stop buying merchandise from daddy's shops, yeah?
There are a lot of factors to this particular scenario, I suppose, haha
05/09/2012
Contributor: chicmichiw chicmichiw
My parents encouraged me to live with my SO. And I agree -- it's important to know you can handle the day to day together.
04/28/2013
Contributor: Munko Munko
We've been living together for 8 years - I wouldn't marry someone I didn't know if I could live with or not. Life is entirely different when you have your own "space" and don't have to see each other day in and day out....it becomes a lot different when it's a shared space and shared responsibilities! Luckily we can pretty much spend 24/7 together and rarely butt heads. He's a keeper!
04/28/2013
Contributor: snowminx snowminx
I think to each either own, it's the couple living together, not everyone around them.

Personally I don't want to live with a partner until I'm married unless it's like as a roommate and not like a couple living together. I love being by myself and having my own little "space" to be if we have fights or I'm really upset with him. If I don't get my alone time I have a very hard time moving on and things just get worse if they try to approach me before I fit myself. That said I don't really think I want to ever get married anyways, I hate kids and don't like feeling trapped.
04/29/2013
Contributor: karenm karenm
I agree with others in this thread that living together before marriage is important. You don't really know someone, in a way, until you live with them.

It seems like an antiquated thought to discourage pre-marital sex and based on a time when you had to live with your parents until you were married. Luckily, my parents don't care. They lived together before getting married.
05/01/2013
Contributor: VeganChick (is Gone) VeganChick (is Gone)
I think it's your own damn business so you should do what you want! I don't think it is a decision to take lightly, but if you've thought it out and want to do it I don't see anything wrong with it.
05/01/2013
Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
I have an aunt who is very hypocritical on this subject, and it's really odd to me. She thinks that it's awful and sinful for unmarried couples to live together despite the fact that she spends three or four nights a week sleeping over at her boyfriend's house. /And/ she's still technically married to someone else (I mean, they've been separated for ten years or so, but still). I don't see the difference between living with someone and sleeping with them. On top of that, I think that people should live together before marriage, because the number of people I know who've broken up shortly after moving in with one another is astronomical.
05/01/2013
Contributor: Hummingbird Hummingbird
You need to do what's best for you and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. At 60 years old this coming July I can attest to that after living with my own husband a couple of years before we were married and at least one other man before him. In my mind its the best possible way to learn each other's likes and dislike up close and personal, 24 x7.

Believe me, it wasn't easy for me or others that I knew back in the 70's & 80's not at least in my family. Even when I graduated high school 1971, I was not expected to leave home unless it was to marry and be a part of a man's, my future husband's life and his wife. I waited until I was 33 and am glad today I did.
05/10/2013
Contributor: SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
We've been together for about 10 years, 9 of which we have been living together and we are not married. Our son is 7 and was planned (some think he was accident because we are not married) To be honest I am the one who is dragging their feet on getting married, I was engaged twice before and both times the relationships didn't work out so I became a little jaded on the whole engagement and marriage thing.
05/11/2013
Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
Quote:
Originally posted by SaucyxGirl
We've been together for about 10 years, 9 of which we have been living together and we are not married. Our son is 7 and was planned (some think he was accident because we are not married) To be honest I am the one who is dragging their feet on ... more
I don't blame you! Personally, I'm not dead set on getting married. If you're doing well as you are, why should you need a ceremony and a couple of signatures to make it official. I'm glad to hear that someone's happy and has a planned child despite not going through with a wedding (yet). =)
05/11/2013
Contributor: RaspberryRogue RaspberryRogue
My boyfriend and I have been together for about three and a half years and living together for about two. I moved in with him right before I graduated high school. Marriage may or may not be in our future. He's not positive if he wants to even get married, but thinks I am too young to right now anyways (I just turned 20 and he's 30.) I kinda want to, but it's not something that I'm really adamant about. I honestly don't understand the women who have happy and healthy relationships and just throw them away because the man doesn't want to get married. It doesn't make sense at all. Why do you need a piece of paper to be happy when you're already in love?
05/13/2013
Contributor: xgreatlovex xgreatlovex
My couples therapist said that the reason the divorce rate is so high is BECAUSE of people living together before marriage, that a relationship is like a snowball going down hill it picks up sooo much as it goes along that its just too hard to walk away from.
05/15/2013