Many articles and studies state that the things that attracted us to our partner are also the things that, given time, will make us crazy! I have noticed this with my relationship, and wonder....what about you?
What attracted you to your partner...that now drives you insane?
04/25/2013
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It's complicated! Early on - say from 16-25 that was true. But after my divorce at 25 - my whole take on relationships changed.
My parents gave me a great road map of what not to do - but I was lucky enough to have grandparents to use as role models. What I learned from them was that dividing the world into roughly equal spheres of influence was liberating. Now I don't have to be responsible for everything. In my sphere, I take of things my way - and my wife the same.
That leaves very little to fight about - just to discuss any gray areas that come up.
I am not a believer in the 'opposites attract' theory. If you go down that road, conflict is inevitable - but hey some people thrive on it - it's just not for me. I grew up in a home like that and decided 16 years of that was enough.
My parents gave me a great road map of what not to do - but I was lucky enough to have grandparents to use as role models. What I learned from them was that dividing the world into roughly equal spheres of influence was liberating. Now I don't have to be responsible for everything. In my sphere, I take of things my way - and my wife the same.
That leaves very little to fight about - just to discuss any gray areas that come up.
I am not a believer in the 'opposites attract' theory. If you go down that road, conflict is inevitable - but hey some people thrive on it - it's just not for me. I grew up in a home like that and decided 16 years of that was enough.
04/26/2013
Quote:
I have heard that too. It's interesting.
Originally posted by
js250
Many articles and studies state that the things that attracted us to our partner are also the things that, given time, will make us crazy! I have noticed this with my relationship, and wonder....what about you?
The things that attracted me to him right when I met him: I was 15 & he was kind, he hardly knew me & seen I was suffering pretty badly with a migraine & left, then came back and handed me a BC powder! Ha Ha. Lol. To this day, he still dumps those icky things into my mouth when I have migraines! It's definitely a sweet thing. It doesn't drive me crazy. Another thing that attracted me to him: he was the first guy I had ever been around that didn't force themselves on me, besides family and let's see 2 guy friends. Yea. I'm pretty sure there were only TWO who didn't. So me being in a position where he could've easily taken advantage of me and he wouldn't even put his hands on me (even when I asked! LOL) made me feel like something totally different. This was huge! It was so new to me. So that, especially after he'd gotten me a BC Powder, I figured he definitely expected sex or some kind of favor, and when he didn't, I was so intrigued. I think that changed something in me forever. I mean he was and still is the only male (besides family and very close guy friends) who went and without any reason, made a big effort to get me medicine for a migraine, then gave it to me & didn't really approach me anymore that night, except when a man (I was 15, the man was in his mid-twenties) tried following me into the bathroom, and my-now-partner stood up for me. In fact, the very next night, he had to do the same thing -- some guy putting his hands where they were not wanted. So pretty much it was like "omg! There is a guy out there who's kind and who hasn't even forced himself on me yet." This is a dream! Then of course, there's the charm and awesome looks.
Yea. None of that has gotten under my skin yet. LOL. His kindness and going out of his way for people just makes me love him even more. However,
04/26/2013
My hubby's boyish charm attracted me to him and its that same boyish charm that sometimes frustrates the h... out of me. He can do so many things independently yet always insists he needs my help because it too difficult to do alone. He acts like such a little boy sometimes...
04/26/2013
When I first met my guy I was attracted to his loyalty to his friends but now it kind of gets on my nerves since I feel like his friends mean more to him than me, sometimes he'll refuse to hang out with me if he makes plans with his friends but he won't always keep true to plans he makes with me, and while he ditches plans we make together he'll always keeps plans with his friends. Friend hangouts are non-negotiable with him
07/17/2013
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Unique posters: 5