When to keep going or call it quiets?

When to keep going or call it quiets?

MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
Before it wasn't a problem that he wasn't much of a talker because he lived closer and we would just snuggle all day but now he lives in another state and anything i try to talk about he doesn't know what to say or it ends badly. I love him very much but the fact that he hates being on the phone or hardly talks kills me. Idk what to do. I wont see him till probley in the summer.
01/17/2011
  • Buy 3 Items for $70
  • Buy 3 Items for $50
  • Buy 3 Items for $30
  • Buy 3 Items for $20
  • Save 20% on Luxury Toys
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by MrRainybowbow
Before it wasn't a problem that he wasn't much of a talker because he lived closer and we would just snuggle all day but now he lives in another state and anything i try to talk about he doesn't know what to say or it ends badly. I love ...
I am so sorry to hear this. It is very difficult to have a relationship without communication. Communication is key in any serious or long term relationship. Even a friendship.

IMO - If when we were dating, my husband, only cared to engage in a physical relationship, rather than an intellectual one we would not have gotten married because to me it would have felt more like a booty-call than a true relationship.

My brain has to be stimulated intellectually before my body will react to physical stimulation. Maybe I am a weird one though...usually I am.
01/17/2011
closed account closed account
Have you tried emailing, IM'ing, sending old fashioned letters? Or communicating through any social networking sites? (dare I say facebook, yuck)

I would write long emails every morning to my guy, and he'd send a short response. That's just how he is. But those emails meant very much to him.

oh and there is always texting. and webcam


many people hate the phone
01/17/2011
married with children married with children
i would try email's also. I hate talking on the phone. i would rather answer a email then make a phone call.
01/18/2011
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I am so sorry to hear this. It is very difficult to have a relationship without communication. Communication is key in any serious or long term relationship. Even a friendship.

IMO - If when we were dating, my husband, only cared to ...
If you're weird than I'm weird with you...

Actually it's true of most women. They need emotional/intellectual stimulation to be aroused.

@Mr Rainy... if you can't have real conversations, it's already bound for disaster. That's true in local or long-distance relationships. You sound awfully young to be tying yourself to someone. Especially someone who doesn't communicate with you.
01/18/2011
Orion Orion
Well i have some experience in this. My wife lives very very far away in the land of Oz lol and im here in the middle of nowhere US. We have been in a relationship for over 2 yrs married for 7 months of it now. Phone is awful and just wont work you need to be comfortable when talking like your together. Headset mic and a program like Skype, Vent, MSN etc. Here is the problem with LDR there isn't ALWAYS stuff to talk about. See when there's silence, instead of getting paranoid maybe that's it that's all there was to say and you need to part one another. Paranoia is hell in this thing do not let it eat at you. Then you need to ask yourself a lot do you love this person for real this takes time you need to make sure. Best way we have found is ask a question and first thought that hits u know is your answer whether u want to hear it or not. See each other web cam is important you need to see this person sometimes at least once every other week. Can email and text daily its the easiest way to keep in touch and one of the most comfortable. Then my last piece of advise have a goal to be together if that's not there and or he is uncomfortable about the topic you need to slowly push it. If there is no goal what's the point? I know what your feeling girl trust me i know it well you two probably used to talk for ages and ran out of stuff to say were on daily together well quite frankly u really do just run out of crap to say to one another and it's best to say bye until next time and stop being paranoid it will eat you alive. I will say this again though goal to be together discuss frequently. If you know and feel he loves you back and wants to be with you ill say this again cause i know you need it stop being PARANOID!! Ahh one more thing play something together online games can burn time and be a very good distraction for you both unless you not in to that then i dunno what else to say.
01/21/2011
Crystal1 Crystal1
I agree with those who suggested another means of communication, maybe he just isn't a phone guy? Try e-mail, texts, FB, whatever.

Not to freak you out, but if he is living in another state and just plain doesn't want to talk, he may have found someone else or be losing interest. If he doesn't get chattier over one of the other options, I would flat-out ask him if things are okay, and tell him that the lack of talk is bothering you. If he cares about keeping the relationship strong, he should be willing to at least try to meet a need you express. If not, cut your losses now.
01/22/2011
MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
We broke up 3 days before out year and 4 months ani.... :[
02/04/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by MrRainybowbow
We broke up 3 days before out year and 4 months ani.... :[
So sorry to hear that...
02/04/2011
Kaltir Kaltir
Try talking about something that he is really interested in. Even if you're not, at least it sparks a conversation
02/09/2011
Lovelies Lovelies
Quote:
Originally posted by MrRainybowbow
Before it wasn't a problem that he wasn't much of a talker because he lived closer and we would just snuggle all day but now he lives in another state and anything i try to talk about he doesn't know what to say or it ends badly. I love ...
Im sorry to hear that. I hate to say it but, I had the same problem with then boyfriend, at points it was long-distance. And, communication IS key in any relationship. I ended up getting so frustrated that I was the only one actually trying to engage in conversation and even then it was as though he never had much to contribute. It eventually turned too sour and was too much work just to simply talk and ended.
02/09/2011
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 9