Why AREN'T you getting it on?

Contributor: Timaree Timaree
it happens to all of us at some point. you go from a fairly regular schedule of love making to some random dry spell. what's the cause behind yours?

here's a column with an awesome flowchart on relationship dry spells: link
08/16/2010
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Contributor: Sir Sir
Cause of ours? Infidelity and a breach of trust.
08/16/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Working very crappy schedules is our cause. It's not as often as we'd like where we're both in the mood and home at the same time, lol
08/16/2010
Contributor: joja joja
I think you posted the wrong link - that one is to a post about contraception.
08/16/2010
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
-An argument
-A new baby

and now,

-ED

Maybe the last one is more of a stoppage than a dry spell.
08/16/2010
Contributor: Timaree Timaree
many apologies on the wrong link: link
08/16/2010
Contributor: Timaree Timaree
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
it happens to all of us at some point. you go from a fairly regular schedule of love making to some random dry spell. what's the cause behind yours?

here's a column with an awesome flowchart on relationship dry spells: link ... more
sorry!!! correct link: link
08/16/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
When my man is very tired from work then the act of sexual intercourse (vaginal penetration) doesn't occur.

However, I give my man a blowjob or handjob almost every day. It is love making but only one person is getting the big o so its more of an intimate moment rather than full blown love making.
08/17/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
Distance.
08/17/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Single.
08/17/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I actually haven't had this issue yet in my current relationship, but I'm sure at some point we will due to time constraints, stress, or one of the other more common and thankfully temporary culprits.

In my last relationship however, it was a total lack of trust due to abuse. I had absolutely no desire to share my body in a pleasurable way with him if he felt that it was appropriate to take his aggressions out on the same body.
08/17/2010
Contributor: DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
Distance and too much WORK!
08/18/2010
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
Quote:
Originally posted by Andromeda
Distance.
Ditto.
08/18/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
it happens to all of us at some point. you go from a fairly regular schedule of love making to some random dry spell. what's the cause behind yours?

here's a column with an awesome flowchart on relationship dry spells: link ... more
Heh living in a one bedroom apartment with two teens, and an infant! He's also working 12s at work...so it's a mess. Still I wouldn't give it up when it does happen!
08/19/2010
Contributor: Hannah Savage Hannah Savage
He's obsessed with virtual friends in a virtual reality. As a result, I feel ignored and less important than these people/activities.

He's depressed from being unemployed for over a year, and upset that he has gained a significant amount of weight in this time. His depression makes him act like a child, and lash out at me with things like, "Now that you're in school you're going to find some younger man and I will be pushed to the back of your mind".

I am in school 30 hours a week and work 40+ hours every week.

When we're physically near each other we might as well be 10 miles apart, as far as our "connection" goes. Often when I am at work or away from him, I desire to be intimate and close to him, until I get home and he doesn't leave his computer chair to even open the door or greet me.

Sorry for spouting off, going through a rough time obviously.
08/20/2010
Contributor: Hannah Savage Hannah Savage
By the way that flow chart is hilarious!
08/20/2010
Contributor: gone77 gone77
Distance and money to close the distance.
08/20/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
it happens to all of us at some point. you go from a fairly regular schedule of love making to some random dry spell. what's the cause behind yours?

here's a column with an awesome flowchart on relationship dry spells: link ... more
Military deployment.

Reasons for when we're together range from exhaustion from work/school to little quarrels and the ocassional disinterest of my partner.
08/20/2010
Contributor: SydVicious SydVicious
Quote:
Originally posted by Hannah Savage
By the way that flow chart is hilarious!
I have to agree.. I love the chart.
08/20/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
-An argument
-A new baby

and now,

-ED

Maybe the last one is more of a stoppage than a dry spell.
Just a bump in the road - get the Cialis, it's fabulous!
08/20/2010
Contributor: Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
Kids!....
08/20/2010
Contributor: NightNight NightNight
Quote:
Originally posted by Hannah Savage
He's obsessed with virtual friends in a virtual reality. As a result, I feel ignored and less important than these people/activities.

He's depressed from being unemployed for over a year, and upset that he has gained a significant ... more
huff I got frustrated just reading that! I hope you can work things out-- whichever direction it needs to go in.

Right now it's distance for me but I finally got my immigration visa so my year-and-a-half wait will be all over in less than two months!! I've formed a lot of fantasies we get to play out now
08/20/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
it happens to all of us at some point. you go from a fairly regular schedule of love making to some random dry spell. what's the cause behind yours?

here's a column with an awesome flowchart on relationship dry spells: link ... more
AURGHGH! Major frustration. I'm not getting any tonight, and I should be because he passed out AGAIN, right in the middle. BEFORE I came. He wants to check out AFTER I come, and before he does, it's his loss. Before I get what I need, I get angry. I AM angry. Of course, I'd rather we BOTH finish. I think I'm being taken for granted. Too "available" maybe? Shit, I'm not going to play games. If I want it, I'm not going to play I don't want it. I can't play games.

I'm about to commit an act of either extreme unkindness, or indiscreet harm.

I shouldn't be posting in the pissy mood I'm in.

And, it wasn't like he said he wasn't in the mood. He STARTED it, then BOOM, out like a light, while he was going down.

I've talked to him about this shit, I've cried to him about this shit. I've been close to doing some damage.

I really should shut up now. I'm frigging horny, perfectly good man in my bed, and he's unconscious. The vibrator isn't going to do it tonight. I want it REAL.

People shouldn't start what they can't finish.

I'm too angry to even think.

He's a good man, but, shit. It's not the first time this has happened. I didn't fall asleep during sex when we had bitty babies and I was only sleeping an hour a night.

Never mind. I talk, he apologizes, it happens again. It's really beginning to suck, big time. And not in a GOOD way. It can be SO FUCKING GOOD, why would anyone want to fuck that up and risk losing it, the way he seems to be. I feel taken for granted. JEEZ, I'm pissed.

I'm going to shut the fuck up now.
08/21/2010
Contributor: NightNight NightNight
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
AURGHGH! Major frustration. I'm not getting any tonight, and I should be because he passed out AGAIN, right in the middle. BEFORE I came. He wants to check out AFTER I come, and before he does, it's his loss. Before I get what I need, I get ... more
I'm sending a crate of energy drinks next-day-delivery.
08/21/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Distance for one. Other factors are stress, depression, work load, self image issues, etc....
08/21/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by NightNight
I'm sending a crate of energy drinks next-day-delivery.
Thank you. I think he needs, like, SPEED or something. Or maybe less booze.

This morning, he apologized and I was still pissed off and couldn't come, anyway.

I need to reboot him or something.
08/21/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Thank you. I think he needs, like, SPEED or something. Or maybe less booze.

This morning, he apologized and I was still pissed off and couldn't come, anyway.

I need to reboot him or something.
Defrag time!!!
08/21/2010
Contributor: Alegria Alegria
It's been more than a month because first he was out of town then I messed up my birth control routine and had to wait a month before I could start a new pack, and a week for that pack to become effective. So I'm getting laid in like...3 days! So excited; I hate going more than 3 or 4 days without.
08/21/2010
Contributor: Alegria Alegria
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
AURGHGH! Major frustration. I'm not getting any tonight, and I should be because he passed out AGAIN, right in the middle. BEFORE I came. He wants to check out AFTER I come, and before he does, it's his loss. Before I get what I need, I get ... more
I would be furious as well if I were in this position, and I'm sure everyone here understands the rant. Sometimes you just need to get it off your chest. I hope he makes up for it!
08/21/2010
Contributor: crazypao crazypao
Quote:
Originally posted by Hannah Savage
He's obsessed with virtual friends in a virtual reality. As a result, I feel ignored and less important than these people/activities.

He's depressed from being unemployed for over a year, and upset that he has gained a significant ... more
I feel your pain! My man is addicted to Wow. Extreme. Not that he wont get off of there or anything, he just prefers to spend his time on there. Not that he wont get off of there for sex, but I typically fall asleep because he waits until he's finished with his dungeon or raid or whatever. Bleh.
He's unemployed as well, (and I'm a full time student and use my left over grants plus his unemployment to pay the bills right now, but they'll both run out soon. I also do some contractor work online sometimes but that's spotty and more of an extra few bucks here and there and not considered a regular income.)

I feel your pain.
08/21/2010