Would you end a relationship because you were unhappy in the bedroom?

Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Just a simple question. If everything else was fine and you cared for the person but the sex sucked, would you leave just for that? Let's say you've tried talking already...ad nauseam.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Of course! Sex is paramount to a satisfying relationship
17  (17%)
Maybe (elaborate?)
60  (61%)
Of course not! Why would you throw away an otherwise good relationship?
21  (21%)
Other?
1  (1%)
Total votes: 99
Poll is closed
05/28/2012
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Contributor: gloomybear gloomybear
maybe if my partner doesnt even try to help improove the situation luckly im engaged to a man who is extrodinary in bed
05/28/2012
Contributor: BeepBop BeepBop
Maybe if it ended up affecting other things, and they didn't even try to learn to improve.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
Yes, just recently had to do this
05/28/2012
Contributor: SiNn SiNn
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Just a simple question. If everything else was fine and you cared for the person but the sex sucked, would you leave just for that? Let's say you've tried talking already...ad nauseam.
I have split up with a guy who was bad in bed but was a size issue as well as a he wasnt around enough to work on it so yes if he didnt want to improve or i wasnt satisfied id totally move on
05/28/2012
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Just a simple question. If everything else was fine and you cared for the person but the sex sucked, would you leave just for that? Let's say you've tried talking already...ad nauseam.
I am polyamorous, so this is less of an issue for me. I think that sexual gratification is important in life, and being unsatisfied is not the way to live.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
My partner told me, days after we were having sex, that he would have broken up with me if I was "bad in bed." My Jaw dropped. I replied, "How long would you have given me if I was bad? I'm new to this you know!" He said, since he really cared for me, he would have given me 2 to 6 months to get better, and if I still was horrible he would have ditched me.

I hit him back then, but I giggle about it now.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Badass Badass
I don't think I would leave over bad sex, but I might over not enough sex.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
It wouldn't be the sole reason ... but it was one of the Big reasons I divorced my husband. Celibacy just has no excuse in marriage.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Bex1331 Bex1331
nope, I'm in this situation now but I love him so I stay
05/28/2012
Contributor: MissCandyland MissCandyland
Maybe. Depends on how much I like the guy.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Taylor Taylor
In one of my past relationships, we had a lot of sexual problems. He had a lot of performance anxiety and while I tried my best to be supportive it definitely strained the relationship after awhile and the tension spilled over into other areas of the relationship and eventually led to our breakup.

So I wouldn't directly breakup with someone because of "bad" sex, but I think it's hard to keep it from spilling into other areas of the relationship.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
I personally think that the sex reflects the rest of your relationship, so if there was something wrong with the sex there's probably something inherently wrong with 'us.' So I picked maybe? I'm one of those people who thinks that it can get better if you just try hard enough! Try toys, different condoms, fun lubes, cock rings, different positions, more foreplay... Stuff like that!

Luckily I also don't have this problem.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Beck Beck
It depends. If my partner is willing to try harder and learn how to please me, then no I wouldn't. But if they are not trying, then I see no point in continuing the relationship. Sexual frustration in a relationship will only cause more problems everywhere else.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
No way!

To me, sex is a BONUS, but I can just masturbate and be happy. But chances are, I would just help the person become better at what they do by giving instruction and encouragement
05/28/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Ryuson
I personally think that the sex reflects the rest of your relationship, so if there was something wrong with the sex there's probably something inherently wrong with 'us.' So I picked maybe? I'm one of those people who thinks that it ... more
Oh yes, our sex life has improved quite a bit with toys. It kind of ruins it though when he always seems in a rush. I mean, why am I investing all this time on Eden to earn toys if he just wants to rush to the intercourse and then maybe last 10-15 minutes if he has a condom. I adore my new Mio but I hardly get to enjoy it (I've tried it solo and it doesn't work so well.) I don't miss anything else about my ex but I miss the bedroom part. He could last an hour + on one erection and then KEEP GOING! Not to mention I actually felt like he cared about my pleasure. I feel disrespectful to my husband even sharing that here, but I've been thinking about it lately.
05/28/2012
Contributor: CollegeFun2014 CollegeFun2014
If I was truly in love with that person I don't believe I'd ever split even if the sex was bad. I mean if you fall in love with them because of other reasons then that's why you should stay with them.
05/28/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
For me, sex is the cement that holds a relationship together. There is nothing much worse in a relationship than being sexually frustrated and your partner just not giving a shit how you feel.

I'd give a partner some time to improve, but I'd want to see proof that he was not only working on it, but improvements quickly.

It's one of the good things about not waiting too long to have sex in a relationship. If the person is really selfish or awful in bed, you haven't invested too much in it, and can move to a more satisfying relationship without a lot of drama. Put too much effort in the relationship before sex, if the sex turns out to be terrible, and you've wasted months or even years of your life, not to mention all the emotional effort you put into it.

Fuck early, fuck often and fuck well. It's the key, as far as I'm concerned.

I'm glad to NOT be in a relationship where the sex is frustrating or nonexistent, I wouldn't tolerate that for long. The sex is amazing and always has been, from the beginning. We both agree that neither of us could stay in a sexually cold, sterile or selfish marriage or relationship.
05/28/2012
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
If you are not happy in bed it will eventually creep into other areas of the relationship and tarnish what good IS there. Not a good thing.
05/28/2012
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
If you are not happy in bed it will eventually creep into other areas of the relationship and tarnish what good IS there. Not a good thing.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Since he cares about you in every other way, give him a little more time and maybe phrase your words differently so he'll understand them. Unsatisfactory sex will affect a relationship, but if you love him, give it a few more tries.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Love Obsessed Love Obsessed
It depends on the situation for me.I've been with men that were terrible in bed probably worst then most other people on here have been with.So I know how bad bad sex can be.I will never go through that again so if I was with a man like that would break up with him.

If the guy was simply just not good,he was too quick,doesn't pick up on cues of what to do sometimes or something else silly I could deal with that.
05/28/2012
Contributor: Chami Chami
bad sex can ruin a relationship
05/28/2012
Contributor: ksparkles16 ksparkles16
maybe...if we had really worked on it before
05/29/2012
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Just a simple question. If everything else was fine and you cared for the person but the sex sucked, would you leave just for that? Let's say you've tried talking already...ad nauseam.
I believe someone else asked this just the other day...

I would not leave. Sex can be improved, other important things cannot.
05/29/2012
Contributor: MaeGal MaeGal
I've only ever had the one boyfriend, so I wouldn't even know particularly if I were missing anything. ;P
06/02/2012
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
I believe someone else asked this just the other day...

I would not leave. Sex can be improved, other important things cannot.
Sorry. I didn't see that post. I generally try to search things before posting, but it slipped my radar. :-x
06/03/2012
Contributor: unfulfilled unfulfilled
No I wouldn't because one could work on sex, but if everything else was off in the relationship yes. If that was the only thing and the relationship was good otherwise, noway.
06/03/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
Yes, absolutely. After being in a completely sexually unsatisfying relationship for a while, I know it made everything else seem worse. We fought way more when I wasn't happy sexually and quite honestly, it's disrespectful and not being a good partner to not please your partner or work to be better for them.

If the person tries to work to be better for me at sex and it's not working, I'm out. I'm not going to be sexually unsatisfied or bored, because I get resentful, and that's not good for a relationship.
02/04/2013
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Just a simple question. If everything else was fine and you cared for the person but the sex sucked, would you leave just for that? Let's say you've tried talking already...ad nauseam.
Of course not! Why would you throw away an otherwise good relationship?
02/04/2013