Oh, I get it, you're still young, why settle down?

The New Intimacy

Oh, I get it, you're still young, why settle down?

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Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
NO.

Oh my god. I'm getting tired of that reaction when I tell people I'm poly. ;_; I suppose I'm open to the idea that one day I may switch over to monogamy, but it rubs me the wrong way that people think that this is a 'phase' or 'what young people do' rather than my choice lifestyle, that I want to stick with indefinitely -- perhaps forever.

Edit: Not to mention, I am settled down. I'm in a committed relationship and I'd like for any other relationships I find to be just as committed and serious.

Any thoughts from others on the matter? Thanks.
12/14/2011
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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
NO.

Oh my god. I'm getting tired of that reaction when I tell people I'm poly. ;_; I suppose I'm open to the idea that one day I may switch over to monogamy, but it rubs me the wrong way that people think that this is a ... more
LOL I am 41...am I still young enough to be whooping it up? YAY!!! Naw I'm just committment-phobic despite being in a totally committed relationship/marriage for 25 years. So it never changes hun, it's an erroneous belief that will take time to undo. For instance my grandfather explained to me, quite seriously, that black people have bones that white people don't have! Not that their bones are different densities or something...well, sane, but completely different. He said autopsies proved it that there are bones in their skeletons that white people don't have. Then proceeded to show me a 1920s science book that actually LISTED these so called extra bones! In reality they were alternate latin names for the leg bones. Clearly this is ridiculous but the belief persisted through generations. Give it time and carve your own way, be proud of who and what you are and accept no compromise.
Tell then they are DAMN right you are too young to limit yourself when there's a whole buffet of life experiences for you to sample! Suggest they look a bit life anemic and wonder if they have a living disorder that makes them want to look so skeletal....then wander off smiling.
12/14/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
LOL I am 41...am I still young enough to be whooping it up? YAY!!! Naw I'm just committment-phobic despite being in a totally committed relationship/marriage for 25 years. So it never changes hun, it's an erroneous belief that will take time ... more
Nahaha... I'll drink to that post, ma'am. Living disorder... LOL. The funny thing is it's all young people who say that to me. o_O I mean, in their 20's like myself. So it's almost like they're talking down to me, despite having only a year or two of life experience more than me...
12/14/2011
Contributor: The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
NO.

Oh my god. I'm getting tired of that reaction when I tell people I'm poly. ;_; I suppose I'm open to the idea that one day I may switch over to monogamy, but it rubs me the wrong way that people think that this is a ... more
Oh just do you.... People who are married want to make sure you are married and people who are divorced want to tell you how you should be divorced, people who cheat on their wives think you should cheat on yours. Just do you...
12/14/2011
Contributor: FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
Maybe you should turn the tables on those rude questioners. Ask them if monogamy is something they're going to get bored with eventually!

Personally, I couldn't just stick to one person for the rest of my life, even my very amazing boyfriend. Not when there are so many other yummy things to taste. I'm a college student, so it's not like anyone finds it at all surprising that I'm bisexual and polyamorous. They just call it "being a slutty college girl."

Slut-shaming will not work on me. I have no shame.
12/14/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by FemmeFlo
Maybe you should turn the tables on those rude questioners. Ask them if monogamy is something they're going to get bored with eventually!

Personally, I couldn't just stick to one person for the rest of my life, even my very amazing ... more
Mahaha of course it doesn't shame me. I have lacked shame for quite a long time, and it seems with every controversial discovery I make about myself, my shame level only goes lower. My give-a-damn broke when I discovered I was an agnostic-bordering-ath eist at age 8....
12/14/2011
Contributor: eeep eeep
I think people just like to put things they don't understand into a labeled box that makes sense to them. A lot of people in our generation were raised by parents who drummed into them that monogamy is the only real type of a serious relationship. Thinking that a person just wants to be free and have choices puts it into a box they can understand.
12/14/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by eeep
I think people just like to put things they don't understand into a labeled box that makes sense to them. A lot of people in our generation were raised by parents who drummed into them that monogamy is the only real type of a serious ... more
Yeah, I think that's really what it comes down to... I mean, I sometimes try to do that, I suppose. So I see what they mean. xD Kindof...
12/14/2011
Contributor: Drakoni Drakoni
I get a similar reaction when I tell people that I don't want kids. They assume that I'll change my mind just because they have kids. I'm over 30 and my "biological clock" is grossly adverse to the notion of kids. I don't think it's a phase.
12/14/2011
Contributor: Ms. N Ms. N
Quote:
Originally posted by Drakoni
I get a similar reaction when I tell people that I don't want kids. They assume that I'll change my mind just because they have kids. I'm over 30 and my "biological clock" is grossly adverse to the notion of kids. I don't think it's a phase.
Ditto. I hear that a lot.
12/14/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. N
Ditto. I hear that a lot.
Mahaha, same here, though I'm 21, so I guess that does happen to some people...god I hope I never make the mistake of wanting kids. O_x I'm a college dropout and I make just enough to comfortably support myself, why ruin that?
12/15/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by emiliaa
Nahaha... I'll drink to that post, ma'am. Living disorder... LOL. The funny thing is it's all young people who say that to me. o_O I mean, in their 20's like myself. So it's almost like they're talking down to me, despite ... more
Well, dear, they have it all figured out! They are seeing these new things and it all makes sense. Give them a few years and they will be changing their tunes about just about everything they now believe to be 'gospel' truth. It's just how our brains are hardwired.
12/15/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
Quote:
Originally posted by FemmeFlo
Maybe you should turn the tables on those rude questioners. Ask them if monogamy is something they're going to get bored with eventually!

Personally, I couldn't just stick to one person for the rest of my life, even my very amazing ... more
I like what this woman has to say! Seriously, it's none of their damned business and if they do something, tell them that at least you won't get bored with your consistently wide selection
12/15/2011
Contributor: js250 js250
I am such a smart ass I would have told them I loved being in a committed, monogamous relationship so much I went out and got a few more. IDK, just my opinion, though. It pisses me off the way people are so judgmental anymore.
12/15/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Great thread!

After reading this, I've come to realize how far we've come from the 1940's when it comes to relationships. I wonder how many people have had relationship stereotypes pounded into their heads that don't fit with how they see the world and are conflicted because the mismatch.
12/15/2011
Contributor: GS500 GS500
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I am such a smart ass I would have told them I loved being in a committed, monogamous relationship so much I went out and got a few more. IDK, just my opinion, though. It pisses me off the way people are so judgmental anymore.
LOL, we play around with others, but not sure if it could be repeat with the same great couples
12/15/2011