The New Intimacy

Rejection: feeling more upset then I should be.

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Contributor: PinkySt PinkySt
I want to be poly in practice, and not just in theory, almost desperately, and the more failure I encounter the more determined to prove to myself that I can do this, and I can actually get a woman to notice me.

Unfortunately it's been 4 years and the best I have managed is a couple games of grab ass and nothing to speak of that would resemble a relationship.

I'm starting to think I'm just revolting to women, and I'm the least attractive thing in the world. I thought I had a lot going for me with my personality and quick wit, but I guess not.

To this day I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong or where I'm fucking up, I keep going over everything i did trying to figure out whats driving women away from me, and I'm just incredibly upset. Everyone tells me there's nothing wrong with me, and that I'm awesome but if that's true why can't I even get a date.

Why and I ignored, or worse stood up at every turn. I'm just so frustrated. All I want is for a nice lady to notice me, and maybe make me feel like I'm as awesome as I used to think i was. Why does it feel like that's never going to happen.
08/28/2013
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Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by PinkySt
I want to be poly in practice, and not just in theory, almost desperately, and the more failure I encounter the more determined to prove to myself that I can do this, and I can actually get a woman to notice me.

Unfortunately it's been 4 ... more
Sweetie you are trying too hard! You are fishing and that takes time and careful practice. Remember you are becoming the person that your new partner will see as a part of their lives. Keep working on what makes you happy, confident and self assured because THAT is attractive to any human. Love your partner like he (or she) is all that matters (after yourself of course) because that is also attractive to people. Show the Universe that you are happy, content, hard working and willing to stick it through the hard times. THEN you will have an amazing space to offer a special woman and the Universe will work to fill that space.
Who cares how long it takes? It will be the most amazing thing ever when it happens, won't it? Keep your chin up and keep on keeping on.
08/28/2013
Contributor: PinkySt PinkySt
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Sweetie you are trying too hard! You are fishing and that takes time and careful practice. Remember you are becoming the person that your new partner will see as a part of their lives. Keep working on what makes you happy, confident and self assured ... more
I dunno, Id like to have a girlfriend before Im in my 50s.

and Im doing all those things, everyone tells me Im doing everything right, but the lack of results is infuriating. Especially when all the poly people I know just fall into relationships with zero or minimal effort. And no, they literally say that, im not just making it up.
08/30/2013
Contributor: CinnamonNights CinnamonNights
Quote:
Originally posted by PinkySt
I dunno, Id like to have a girlfriend before Im in my 50s.

and Im doing all those things, everyone tells me Im doing everything right, but the lack of results is infuriating. Especially when all the poly people I know just fall into ... more
This post may be prettty late so not sure if it's I personally believe that when someone is meant for you then you are really more likely to stumble upon them randomly. They may not necessarily fall into your lap, but when you find someone with similar likes things can feel like they just "fall into place". Hunting for dates is of course still a viable option but it will be hard work. There's a lot of people in the world, so that means there's a lot of love and a lot of heartbreak. Not everyone is going to be right for you, and you have to understand you may not be right for them. However there's always someone in the world out there that one day will connect with you as you so desire. These things do take time though, and you have to be pretty lucky to immediately find someone who is right for you. There really isn't much you can do to speed up the process other than continue to be yourself and get to know others. Even if you do everything right it doesn't guarantee that you'll suddenly win the love lottery. Of course it does help, so as the previous commenter said, be happy, confident and enthusiastic. If you find a relationship that is going well, pursue but try not to be too demanding. Also don't let loneliness rush you into a relationship that isn't really good for you. The search for love is a tiresome endeavor but with patience it'll pay off.
10/06/2013