Curious. What does the affect of society have on you?
How did you get in to poly relationships?
02/26/2013
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Quote:
Do you mean to ask: What effect does society have on poly relationships or poly folk specifically? Or do you mean how has society shaped poly folk that they have made the decision to break from the "norm" or what society would have us perceive as the "norm"?
Originally posted by
Charry
Curious. What does the affect of society have on you?
Society has a massive impact on my relationships because of boundaries arbitrarily set on both marriage and citizenship. It's frustrating to see something as basic as the needs to bond with other human beings denied or governed by silly suppositions about what a distant and uninvolved Deity may or may not have decreed. I cannot recognize my life partner because God told some guy a couple thousand years ago that having two husbands is forbidden...no justification is ever given but I am denied my right of happiness because of someone else's beliefs. It seems unconscionable to me but there you have it. The vocal few will always seek to govern the thoughts and desires of others.
The citizenship thing is yet another silly invention of man to separate and create "us and them" mentality. Want to choose to live somewhere else? NOT ALLOWED! Why? No real supportable reason....but just because we say so. In some cases the old wheeze "God said so" is even trotted out.
Now don't get me wrong, I happen to be very spiritual and have many beliefs based on what I believe Deity to be saying to me...I just try not to push those beliefs on everyone around me just to make myself feel safe or special.
02/27/2013
Poly relationships should be legally recognized.
02/27/2013
Quote:
I second this!
Originally posted by
AndromedaJane
Poly relationships should be legally recognized.
02/27/2013
i wanna hear everyone elses stories! i had an ex bf who was always suggesting we bring another person into the bedroom. I mentioned the word polyamorous one day and he was all about it after that.
03/03/2013
My husband and I came to poly through a long, hard and confusing road. We were both raised to believe that you were supposed to find "the one", settle down and have kids, but all after you finished schooling. We met freshman year of college, clicked right away, and both started thinking of our life together once we graduated (we were both VERY naive).
Things didn't go as planned. An ex-boyfriend of mine showed up, who I still had feelings for. I wanted to give it another shot with him, but I didn't want to lose my "long-term boyfriend". We remained friends while I was dating my ex, and eventually got back together. Later on, he started having feelings for one of our female friends, and actually asked me if I would be upset if he pursued her. I gave the go-ahead, but unfortunately, we almost ruined our friendship with her because we were careless, and didn't really discuss expectations. It became clear that she wanted an exclusive, monogamous relationship with him, and blamed me for "holding him back". We eventually resolved everything and she and I even became roommates a couple years later, but there was a lot of bad communication and heartache in between.
Even when we got married, we thought, "Okay, now we're going to stop this and settle down and be 'normal' people". But many of our friendships tend to evolve into infatuations or very deep caring relationships, and it seemed unfair to limit each others connections.
I gave up asking why we weren't "normal". My husband and I trust each other very deeply, and I know that is an extremely important part of our relationship. I think many people without a strong level of trust in their own relationships are inherently suspicious of ours. I'm still coming to terms with whom in my life I do and don't share my relationship status.
Things didn't go as planned. An ex-boyfriend of mine showed up, who I still had feelings for. I wanted to give it another shot with him, but I didn't want to lose my "long-term boyfriend". We remained friends while I was dating my ex, and eventually got back together. Later on, he started having feelings for one of our female friends, and actually asked me if I would be upset if he pursued her. I gave the go-ahead, but unfortunately, we almost ruined our friendship with her because we were careless, and didn't really discuss expectations. It became clear that she wanted an exclusive, monogamous relationship with him, and blamed me for "holding him back". We eventually resolved everything and she and I even became roommates a couple years later, but there was a lot of bad communication and heartache in between.
Even when we got married, we thought, "Okay, now we're going to stop this and settle down and be 'normal' people". But many of our friendships tend to evolve into infatuations or very deep caring relationships, and it seemed unfair to limit each others connections.
I gave up asking why we weren't "normal". My husband and I trust each other very deeply, and I know that is an extremely important part of our relationship. I think many people without a strong level of trust in their own relationships are inherently suspicious of ours. I'm still coming to terms with whom in my life I do and don't share my relationship status.
03/05/2013
Quote:
Your story is very much like ours. Sometimes you just gotta throw away what other people think a relationship or marriage should look like and carve out your own way. It is really amazing when you really find a place that feels safe, secure and honest. Define your relationship however makes you and your partner(s) feel happy.
Originally posted by
gwenrox
My husband and I came to poly through a long, hard and confusing road. We were both raised to believe that you were supposed to find "the one", settle down and have kids, but all after you finished schooling. We met freshman year of
...
more
My husband and I came to poly through a long, hard and confusing road. We were both raised to believe that you were supposed to find "the one", settle down and have kids, but all after you finished schooling. We met freshman year of college, clicked right away, and both started thinking of our life together once we graduated (we were both VERY naive).
Things didn't go as planned. An ex-boyfriend of mine showed up, who I still had feelings for. I wanted to give it another shot with him, but I didn't want to lose my "long-term boyfriend". We remained friends while I was dating my ex, and eventually got back together. Later on, he started having feelings for one of our female friends, and actually asked me if I would be upset if he pursued her. I gave the go-ahead, but unfortunately, we almost ruined our friendship with her because we were careless, and didn't really discuss expectations. It became clear that she wanted an exclusive, monogamous relationship with him, and blamed me for "holding him back". We eventually resolved everything and she and I even became roommates a couple years later, but there was a lot of bad communication and heartache in between.
Even when we got married, we thought, "Okay, now we're going to stop this and settle down and be 'normal' people". But many of our friendships tend to evolve into infatuations or very deep caring relationships, and it seemed unfair to limit each others connections.
I gave up asking why we weren't "normal". My husband and I trust each other very deeply, and I know that is an extremely important part of our relationship. I think many people without a strong level of trust in their own relationships are inherently suspicious of ours. I'm still coming to terms with whom in my life I do and don't share my relationship status. less
Things didn't go as planned. An ex-boyfriend of mine showed up, who I still had feelings for. I wanted to give it another shot with him, but I didn't want to lose my "long-term boyfriend". We remained friends while I was dating my ex, and eventually got back together. Later on, he started having feelings for one of our female friends, and actually asked me if I would be upset if he pursued her. I gave the go-ahead, but unfortunately, we almost ruined our friendship with her because we were careless, and didn't really discuss expectations. It became clear that she wanted an exclusive, monogamous relationship with him, and blamed me for "holding him back". We eventually resolved everything and she and I even became roommates a couple years later, but there was a lot of bad communication and heartache in between.
Even when we got married, we thought, "Okay, now we're going to stop this and settle down and be 'normal' people". But many of our friendships tend to evolve into infatuations or very deep caring relationships, and it seemed unfair to limit each others connections.
I gave up asking why we weren't "normal". My husband and I trust each other very deeply, and I know that is an extremely important part of our relationship. I think many people without a strong level of trust in their own relationships are inherently suspicious of ours. I'm still coming to terms with whom in my life I do and don't share my relationship status. less
03/09/2013
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 6