The New Intimacy

Is this polyamory thing really three way or two way plus one?

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
I'm new to the concept of this three way thing. Does it really work out that all three, at some point, all are intimate with each other, or is it two who are really "into it" and a third who tends to "bond" with one or the other of that "couple"? Seems like there would be SO many complicated feelings going on...and yes, jealousy. Does physical "good feelings" trump all that?

Is there a good book or article really addressing all this that anyone can recommend?
09/17/2011
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It really depends on the sexuality of the people involved. Some people are poly and straight, some are poly and gay and some are somewhere in between. There's no concrete answer unless you were to ask someone about their specific circumstances.

A google search on polyamorous relationships will give you all the information you need to know.
09/17/2011
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It really depends on the sexuality of the people involved. Some people are poly and straight, some are poly and gay and some are somewhere in between. There's no concrete answer unless you were to ask someone about ... more
*points up* This!

Also, not all poly relationships are triads. (Three people) I am currently in a triad with my Master. We share a girlfriend. However, I have another male lover I am currently seeing as well. The variations of poly are endless.
09/17/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
Different people get different kinds of kicks. For some, being a voyeur to the other two doing things together is very exciting. Or masturbating while watching the other two. Or two people could both be concentrating on pleasuring the third person... There are so many more varieties!
09/17/2011
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Fully agreed with the above statements! And I agree with what Pixel said, I've been in various relationships, some were 3 ways, some were more or less!
09/17/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Poly is a catch all term so there is going to be a LOT of variation. In our circumstance the guys are not intimate with each other and are closer than friends in some ways, acting more like partners and co-parents (we have three children). Yes feelings of jealousy can crop up and we fight at times (three way fights can be horrid) but no the physical feelings cannot make up for these times anymore than it can for monogamous folk There obviously has to be more than great sex going on.
09/19/2011
Contributor: CutiePatootie CutiePatootie
I agree with all of the above. I'm married to my husband but we have a girlfriend, so it's kind of like the two way with an extra person. Although he has mentioned the potential to take that a step further (moving in? kids? I'm constantly admiring Airen Wolf's layout, I have a hard time dividing my time/emotions between two people already).
I think this is a case by case basis and you need to have lots and lots of communication about comfort zones etc.
09/21/2011