Poly and Doctors

Contributor: jdFtM jdFtM
I try to be as honest as I can with doctors because I don't care about their personal judgements on me and answers can impact their treatment plans. That being said, I've had to stretch the truth. Recently I had a UTI and a nurse asked if I'd had sex recently. I had. She asked if I had multiple partners or something to that effect. I'm an HIV prevention specialist and knew that she was essentially trying to see if this could be something else so I told her that it was with a longterm fluid-bound partner. This is true, but I didn't mention I have another longterm fluid-bound partner. If there was any doubt in my mind that it was anything other than a UTI (which it was), I would've gone in for a UA, but I knew it wasn't so I just left out being poly (my doctor knows I am, but this nurse didn't).
12/13/2011
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
I try to be honest with doctors, but I've found they rarely believe a word I say. Probably because I tell all of them about my history of anorexia, despite the fact that I am now overweight. Apparently the fact that my weight ballooned after I destroyed my body is surprising.

When I had never had any partners, I was frequently given pregnancy tests. I asked for an STD test at my upcoming gyno check-up, because my ex was cheating on me with I don't know how many people, but I don't know how that's going to go yet.
12/17/2011
Contributor: cupcakeman cupcakeman
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Have you ever lied to avoid judgment from a medical professional when it came time to fess up about the number of lovers you've had for the year? What, if anything, did you do?
All the time I don't know why, I just don't like them knowing. Unless I'm itchy down below, it ain't none 'a there business ;P
12/21/2011
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
My doctor is also my mother's doctor. I don't want anything said, and she tends to ask about me. Even though it's legally not allowed, it still happens because he's a "family" doctor. So yeh, I tend to lie.
12/21/2011
Contributor: chibi1091 chibi1091
I've just never had to.
01/12/2012
Contributor: Badass Badass
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Have you ever lied to avoid judgment from a medical professional when it came time to fess up about the number of lovers you've had for the year? What, if anything, did you do?
its a scary thought, your gynos look of judgement.
01/23/2012
Contributor: Siekarr Siekarr
Haven't had the need to.
02/04/2012
Contributor: fabidefabi fabidefabi
I have definitely lied. It's just too personal sometimes to let a stranger know all that
02/04/2012
Contributor: spineyogurt spineyogurt
A doctor should never judge you
02/05/2012
Contributor: callsignhusker callsignhusker
i don't lie to my doctor
02/07/2012
Contributor: SmutGeek SmutGeek
I never lied but then I don't go to the doctor often and usually the answer is either 1 or 2. They still look at me like they don't believe me (maybe its the way I dress or my age, I dunno).
02/10/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by hyacinthgirl
I try to be honest with doctors, but I've found they rarely believe a word I say. Probably because I tell all of them about my history of anorexia, despite the fact that I am now overweight. Apparently the fact that my weight ballooned after I ... more
Best wishes on a negative result. So sorry this is happening to you.
02/20/2012
Contributor: freda freda
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Have you ever lied to avoid judgment from a medical professional when it came time to fess up about the number of lovers you've had for the year? What, if anything, did you do?
i have lied to my doctor before but it had nothing to do with sex it was about smoking
02/22/2012
Contributor: InnocentISwear InnocentISwear
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Have you ever lied to avoid judgment from a medical professional when it came time to fess up about the number of lovers you've had for the year? What, if anything, did you do?
I don't see why my doctor needs to know how many partners I've had. You can get the same thing from one person as you can from 10.

I've been approving additional STD testing at my yearly gyno appointments ever since I began having sex. I've seen no reason to stop doing that. I find it hard to believe that just because you're married, a doctor won't test you for STD's. Especially if you've approved the tests. Your sexual situation doesn't matter.

I guess I don't really understand why numbers are relevant.
03/10/2012
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by InnocentISwear
I don't see why my doctor needs to know how many partners I've had. You can get the same thing from one person as you can from 10.

I've been approving additional STD testing at my yearly gyno appointments ever since I began ... more
I had to fight with my doctor's office to get simple STD tests run because I was married and it was assumed that because I had been married over 7 years that I was clean! It took my husband admitting to the doctor that he cheated on me and that we had opened our marriage to get them to pay attention to me. Further it took my openly telling them that my son was not my husband's child AND the Dr. meeting my lifepartner to get them to stop questioning why I needed any test other than a yeast/BV or PAP smear. So ya it can happen.

It doesn't matter what you do if you are married you are treated like a child by most medical professionals and they WILL question every time you ask for STD tests unless you hit them between the eyes and they understand you are not monogamous and you are SERIOUS about getting tested.

Often it is easier to go to a health clinic but the risks are just as bad there that you will get blown off.
03/11/2012
Contributor: CindyH CindyH
use to tell little lie
03/11/2012
Contributor: Swish Swish
i s9metimes dont like it but i am truthful
03/11/2012
Contributor: InnocentISwear InnocentISwear
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
I had to fight with my doctor's office to get simple STD tests run because I was married and it was assumed that because I had been married over 7 years that I was clean! It took my husband admitting to the doctor that he cheated on me and that ... more
Hmm. I'd have found a new doctor.

Maybe it's the fact that my doctor knows my husband is out of town about 60% of the year and just assumes one of us cheats.

I still find it hard to believe that a doctor will deny you any STD tests that you specifically request or approve. There are a million physicians out there. You can still be honest with a doctor while maintaing your privacy. If one doctor refuses to respect you when it comes to the matter of a simple STD test, then it's time to find a new one. People get second opinions all the time.

I just don't think a doctor needs to know my entire life story, how many people we've brought into our relationship or any personal stories. All he needs to know is that I have my own personal reasons for wanting to be tested.
03/12/2012
Contributor: Tangles Tangles
My doctors generally don't ask how many sexual partners I've had, we tend to get stuck at how I'm sexually active, don't use birth control, but there is no way I could be pregnant. Surprise! Lesbian.
03/21/2012
Contributor: xxjoel xxjoel
I am poly but still have a small number of partners, so I don't really lie.
03/29/2012
Contributor: SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I was involved with a married man last year and he had multiple partners aside from me and his wife. I have ovulation problems as is with PCOS and have to keep a pretty accurate medical history with my doctor. I told him about my relationship and ... more
I agree with this. Be honest, who cares what they think? If they judge you or act weird, change doctors to a professional you can trust.
07/08/2012
Contributor: animepanda89 animepanda89
No, I am honest with my doctor.
07/10/2012
Contributor: Madsinner Madsinner
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I was involved with a married man last year and he had multiple partners aside from me and his wife. I have ovulation problems as is with PCOS and have to keep a pretty accurate medical history with my doctor. I told him about my relationship and ... more
Good information and advice. Dr.'s have seen it all so you shouldn't worry. Nothing you say should surprise them. I know a few nurses into BDSM
07/14/2012
Contributor: x203 x203
I cant lie to a doctor. I just would be unable to do it.
08/18/2012
Contributor: damnbul12 damnbul12
nope have not
08/21/2012
Contributor: The Kitty The Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Have you ever lied to avoid judgment from a medical professional when it came time to fess up about the number of lovers you've had for the year? What, if anything, did you do?
I am always honest with my health care providers, but I have had comments and judgements made (and then found new providers) lying to doctors is always a bad idea, if you can't be honest with them, ffind one you can be
08/22/2012
Contributor: geekkink geekkink
Lied to a Doctor, ohh hell yes all the time, about sex stuff no.
10/12/2012
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
I've honestly never had a doctor ask me how many partners I've had. Just whether or not I was sexually active.
12/01/2012
Contributor: Sparklegabbie Sparklegabbie
Only when my mom is there
12/04/2012
Contributor: Meltingfish Meltingfish
I'm open with my doctor, I think it's important to be as honest as possible with health professionals. I don't really care if he or she judges me, because I know that I'm content with my relationships and that we're all being safe.
12/12/2012