Both my partner and I want to try a threeway, (Her, myself, and another woman) but we're concerned about WHO to pick. I'm worried that if I ask someone, my girlfriend will think I'm crazy about her and be all jealous. I'm worried that if she picks, it will be someone I'm really not attracted to at all. How should we go about finding the right person?
We want to try a threesome...
08/04/2012
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You should pick together. Neither one of you should have final say. Both of you need to agree. If you can't, then it shouldn't happen.
08/05/2012
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I agree! And as far as your concerns go, have you already discussed jealousy and how you'd handle it as a couple if it came up? If not, that discussion should probably happen before an actual threesome does.
Originally posted by
KrissyNovacaine
You should pick together. Neither one of you should have final say. Both of you need to agree. If you can't, then it shouldn't happen.
But yeah, agree on someone together and you'll likely both have a better time.
08/05/2012
CutiePatootie
Picking together can be ideal. For us though, my husband is pretty cool with a threeway with any other woman as long as she is somewhat attractive and available. I, on the other hand, have a little bit higher standard as far as looks and personality. Also, we have had the incident where the girl really just wants to get with my husband or visa versa, so there's got to be LOTS of communicatio between him and I from the begining. He's usally fine with who I pick as long as I'm fine with it.
08/11/2012
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I would have to agree with picking someone as a couple and the jealous talk is a MUST before ANYTHING ever happens with a threesome. If you do not have the talk about jealousy and any other issues that you may think of before hand it could be very hard on your relationship.
Originally posted by
Phantom2291
Both my partner and I want to try a threeway, (Her, myself, and another woman) but we're concerned about WHO to pick. I'm worried that if I ask someone, my girlfriend will think I'm crazy about her and be all jealous. I'm worried that
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more
Both my partner and I want to try a threeway, (Her, myself, and another woman) but we're concerned about WHO to pick. I'm worried that if I ask someone, my girlfriend will think I'm crazy about her and be all jealous. I'm worried that if she picks, it will be someone I'm really not attracted to at all. How should we go about finding the right person?
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Good luck and hope that your first time is a great one for you both as a couple.
08/18/2012
Both of you should agree on this.
08/18/2012
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I agree
Originally posted by
KrissyNovacaine
You should pick together. Neither one of you should have final say. Both of you need to agree. If you can't, then it shouldn't happen.
08/19/2012
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Krissy novacaine is right. both need to agree.
Originally posted by
Phantom2291
Both my partner and I want to try a threeway, (Her, myself, and another woman) but we're concerned about WHO to pick. I'm worried that if I ask someone, my girlfriend will think I'm crazy about her and be all jealous. I'm worried that
...
more
Both my partner and I want to try a threeway, (Her, myself, and another woman) but we're concerned about WHO to pick. I'm worried that if I ask someone, my girlfriend will think I'm crazy about her and be all jealous. I'm worried that if she picks, it will be someone I'm really not attracted to at all. How should we go about finding the right person?
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and your very smart for thinking about both sides in your relationship. avoiding a lot of potential issues.
12/04/2012
I'd be worried about her jealousy,too. My advice would be to let her propose someone and as others have said, talk it over. Be honest about your concern(s) while being as open-minded as possible about her choice.
I think it will have to be at least somewhat awkward at first, no matter what (as most new things are). But if you both want to try it, then I think it would be worth working through. I would suggest keeping the whole experience as lighthearted as possible.
You're my heroes for actually trying it! My wife and I both find the idea of a threesome to be exciting--but we're both too concerned about jealousy to actually try it!
I think it will have to be at least somewhat awkward at first, no matter what (as most new things are). But if you both want to try it, then I think it would be worth working through. I would suggest keeping the whole experience as lighthearted as possible.
You're my heroes for actually trying it! My wife and I both find the idea of a threesome to be exciting--but we're both too concerned about jealousy to actually try it!
12/05/2012
While jealousy is indeed a large problem for people considering a threesome the real issue after the deed is done is not knowing where to go from there. Jealousy tends to be more of a fear than a reality so I would suggest that you formulate a plan to deal with your jealousy (since you can't deal with your partner's emotional issues for them or even really plan for them) and then discuss what happens after the encounter.
Both of you should choose the person, but you should think about the other person's feelings as well as your own. Are you offering only one "night of passion" or a possibility of something more? What does this other person want or need from the encounter? This is a person you are talking about not a sex toy so my advice from YEARS of experience on both sides of the fence is to forget your fears about jealousy and the trauma it will cause and focus on the reason you are wanting this experience.
If what you want is to enhance your sex life as a couple then I would suggest a foursome or a soft swap with another committed couple. Chances are with another couple your goals will be similar, ie: you want an experience not a life change. With a singleton you are looking for something that is so mythical we call it a unicorn- a totally sexually driven individual that wants nothing but the sex.
If you investigate the swinging community you might find someone who has a firm commitment with her partner and is simply willing to have sex without anything further.
I know the popular belief is that jealousy is the only thing you need to be worried about but the reality is that not thinking about the needs and desires of the third person causes more problems than jealousy between the committed couple.
Both of you should choose the person, but you should think about the other person's feelings as well as your own. Are you offering only one "night of passion" or a possibility of something more? What does this other person want or need from the encounter? This is a person you are talking about not a sex toy so my advice from YEARS of experience on both sides of the fence is to forget your fears about jealousy and the trauma it will cause and focus on the reason you are wanting this experience.
If what you want is to enhance your sex life as a couple then I would suggest a foursome or a soft swap with another committed couple. Chances are with another couple your goals will be similar, ie: you want an experience not a life change. With a singleton you are looking for something that is so mythical we call it a unicorn- a totally sexually driven individual that wants nothing but the sex.
If you investigate the swinging community you might find someone who has a firm commitment with her partner and is simply willing to have sex without anything further.
I know the popular belief is that jealousy is the only thing you need to be worried about but the reality is that not thinking about the needs and desires of the third person causes more problems than jealousy between the committed couple.
12/06/2012
First, you need to express this interest to her. If she's down, you pick someone together and define to each other exactly what is and is not allowed.
12/12/2012
Pick together
12/12/2012
I agree with everyone here... Sit down and talk discuss what you both are looking for.
01/16/2013
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You both need to go out and find someone and agree on that person. I have experience a threesome with a friend of mine and it didn't turn out well. I agree with Krissy below, if you both cannot agree then don't do it..
Originally posted by
Phantom2291
Both my partner and I want to try a threeway, (Her, myself, and another woman) but we're concerned about WHO to pick. I'm worried that if I ask someone, my girlfriend will think I'm crazy about her and be all jealous. I'm worried that
...
more
Both my partner and I want to try a threeway, (Her, myself, and another woman) but we're concerned about WHO to pick. I'm worried that if I ask someone, my girlfriend will think I'm crazy about her and be all jealous. I'm worried that if she picks, it will be someone I'm really not attracted to at all. How should we go about finding the right person?
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01/16/2013
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 14