So my boyfriend has known for a long time that I like being held down during sex and that my last boyfriend and I experimented a little with very light bondage. I really thought he might enjoy using an under the bed restraint system with me, so I got all excited about it and told him I was thinking of buying one. His response was that he refused to be tied up and wasn't too keen on doing it to me. He used excuses like we change positions too often and stuff like that.

I really upset because it's something that would be a huge turn on for me (being tied up and getting to tie him up) and he's completely opposed to it. I'm not sure if this is something that I might have better luck bringing it up later when we settle down together and sex needs some spicing up.

Any advice? Half of me feels like I should just drop it and forget about it, but my stubborn half wants my way. My stubborn half gets me in trouble sometimes. Whatever I do, I won't do it right away. He'd probably get mad at me for bringing it up for the third time in two days. less

I'm in the same situation. My man says he'll do what I want, but instead of overpowering me and pinning me down so I can't move, he just mildly put his hands over mine. He just doesn't have it in him. I don't believe I'll be able to change him. Guys either want to do this or they don't.

I know another man who was almost frighteningly into it. less

So my boyfriend has known for a long time that I like being held down during sex and that my last boyfriend and I experimented a little with very light bondage. I really thought he might enjoy using an under the bed restraint system with me, so I got all excited about it and told him I was thinking of buying one. His response was that he refused to be tied up and wasn't too keen on doing it to me. He used excuses like we change positions too often and stuff like that.

I really upset because it's something that would be a huge turn on for me (being tied up and getting to tie him up) and he's completely opposed to it. I'm not sure if this is something that I might have better luck bringing it up later when we settle down together and sex needs some spicing up.

Any advice? Half of me feels like I should just drop it and forget about it, but my stubborn half wants my way. My stubborn half gets me in trouble sometimes. Whatever I do, I won't do it right away. He'd probably get mad at me for bringing it up for the third time in two days. less

My husband said the same about 3 years ago until I actually bought lovebonds. Oh, his attitude changed once we had them on the bed and I was tying him up. He absolutely RELISHED it- I made sure to use props such as a feather tickler and a pair of silk panties to rub over his skin. When he tied me up he wasn't that into it because he hates being creative, he gets that corn fed Midwestern look on his face every time like "um.... so..." lol.

Just buy them anyway. Even if he doesn't want to use them you can still have them to have them. Trust me, it's a lot different using them than thinking about using them. If BDSM is a new concept to him it may be a hard thing for him to grasp, especially if he's the conservative type. Once you're actually playing around with the stuff and he realizes it isn't so shady (some online product pictures make stuff look like it was made for the darkest of dungeons). Go for nonthreatening colors too, it might make him more receptive when he sees them in person. "Oh, pink tethers with white hearts? That's fucking cute, of course I'll tie you up with this Barbie BDSMware."

Trust me, suppressing your desires will not do either of you any good. If we just cram our wants and needs down deep inside of us there comes a day where we snap or go out and seek those things from other people. It's like dieting- you stop yourself from eating cake for months, you're miserable... the day finally comes where you say to yourself, "I really want some friggin cake" so you get a slice.. and then 2.. and then 3. You overindulge. Don't live your life trying to suppress your sweet tooth because you'll only be miserable. If it's important to you than it's important to the growth of your relationship. Buy them and keep communicating with him that you want to use them, if he loves you he eventually will. less

My husband said the same about 3 years ago until I actually bought lovebonds. Oh, his attitude changed once we had them on the bed and I was tying him up. He absolutely RELISHED it- I made sure to use props such as a feather tickler and a pair of silk panties to rub over his skin. When he tied me up he wasn't that into it because he hates being creative, he gets that corn fed Midwestern look on his face every time like "um.... so..." lol.

Just buy them anyway. Even if he doesn't want to use them you can still have them to have them. Trust me, it's a lot different using them than thinking about using them. If BDSM is a new concept to him it may be a hard thing for him to grasp, especially if he's the conservative type. Once you're actually playing around with the stuff and he realizes it isn't so shady (some online product pictures make stuff look like it was made for the darkest of dungeons). Go for nonthreatening colors too, it might make him more receptive when he sees them in person. "Oh, pink tethers with white hearts? That's fucking cute, of course I'll tie you up with this Barbie BDSMware."

Trust me, suppressing your desires will not do either of you any good. If we just cram our wants and needs down deep inside of us there comes a day where we snap or go out and seek those things from other people. It's like dieting- you stop yourself from eating cake for months, you're miserable... the day finally comes where you say to yourself, "I really want some friggin cake" so you get a slice.. and then 2.. and then 3. You overindulge. Don't live your life trying to suppress your sweet tooth because you'll only be miserable. If it's important to you than it's important to the growth of your relationship. Buy them and keep communicating with him that you want to use them, if he loves you he eventually will. less

My husband said the same about 3 years ago until I actually bought lovebonds. Oh, his attitude changed once we had them on the bed and I was tying him up. He absolutely RELISHED it- I made sure to use props such as a feather tickler and a pair of silk panties to rub over his skin. When he tied me up he wasn't that into it because he hates being creative, he gets that corn fed Midwestern look on his face every time like "um.... so..." lol.

Just buy them anyway. Even if he doesn't want to use them you can still have them to have them. Trust me, it's a lot different using them than thinking about using them. If BDSM is a new concept to him it may be a hard thing for him to grasp, especially if he's the conservative type. Once you're actually playing around with the stuff and he realizes it isn't so shady (some online product pictures make stuff look like it was made for the darkest of dungeons). Go for nonthreatening colors too, it might make him more receptive when he sees them in person. "Oh, pink tethers with white hearts? That's fucking cute, of course I'll tie you up with this Barbie BDSMware."

Trust me, suppressing your desires will not do either of you any good. If we just cram our wants and needs down deep inside of us there comes a day where we snap or go out and seek those things from other people. It's like dieting- you stop yourself from eating cake for months, you're miserable... the day finally comes where you say to yourself, "I really want some friggin cake" so you get a slice.. and then 2.. and then 3. You overindulge. Don't live your life trying to suppress your sweet tooth because you'll only be miserable. If it's important to you than it's important to the growth of your relationship. Buy them and keep communicating with him that you want to use them, if he loves you he eventually will. less