The New Intimacy

Honesty Time. If you could change your lover to be your "perfect" Fantasy lover....would you, and WHAT would you change???

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
We can go first on this, since our answers are both....YES, we WOULD change "something"...and since we BOTH know each others "something", we are okay here, together, admitting it. HE....I would have her be open, at least once or twice to a threesome. Do I think I would really take advantage and do it? Probably not...but thinking I could would be cool. SHE:I wish he would learn to relax. He is always RUSHING. Type A personality. Yes, he is a great lover, but I have to constantly NAG him to "slow down...you don't have anywhere more important to be, do you?".

SO...would you change YOUR lover...and HOW SO?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Would change NOTHING about my lover. They are pefect in every way .
15
Would change NOTHING about my lover. They are perfect in every way, and I better stick with that story or I will be sleeping on the couch tonight.
3
Yes, I would certainly change something if I could....details below?
24
I wish I had a lover to evaluate.
2
Other?
10
Total votes: 54 (53 voters)
Poll is closed
09/20/2011
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Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I wouldn't change anything about my lover, because even though he isn't perfect, he is perfect for me
09/20/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
He's not perfect, but neither am I. One of the things I have always said I would never do is "try to change him."

No one is perfect, but we can work things out.
09/20/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
I think he's great, so much better than any of my exs, nothing needs to be changed.
09/20/2011
Contributor: ToyBoy ToyBoy
I wish he was a vegetarian and lived closer to me. Everything else about him is perfect
09/20/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
I would change nothing about my lover, he isn't perfect, he even irritates me sometimes, and that's what makes him so wonderful. He's a unique person, not some fantasy I made up, and he keeps me on my toes.
09/20/2011
Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
I agree with all the above! He's not perfect, neither am I. But we are perfect together, even on our bad days.
09/20/2011
Contributor: catgirl9 catgirl9
I wouldn't change anything about him either. Sure, he does things that drive me nuts and totally piss me off sometimes, but he wouldn't be the same if not for those things.
09/20/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
In an ideal world, he'd be closer to my age, and not already have real estate, so we could start from scratch together.

But this is all right too. There's still lots of opportunity for me to dig in and contribute.
09/20/2011
Contributor: mandiegk mandiegk
The only thing I would change is his location. 2,500 miles is just too far away.
09/20/2011
Contributor: Shellz31 Shellz31
I wouldn't change a thing about my Master!
But I won't get involved with anyone if there is any little thing that is a slight issue. A guy has to be 'perfect' in my eyes - and my perfect is more than likely very different to what most think is perfect.

Perhaps that's why I have few relationships. But so be it - I'm not interested in settling for second best. No one wants to be someones second best!
09/21/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
The only thing I would like to change about my husband, is since he is older than me. He is old fashioned in values. Which is fine about some things. however when I want to wear a tight dress, short shorts, or low cut top outside of the house. It is a problem.
09/21/2011
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
I love him, but I wish he was taller and stronger and closer to my weight (I outweigh him by about sixty pounds!) Emotionally, he's almost perfect, but I wish he was a little more secure, because I love the hell out of that guy.
09/21/2011
Contributor: LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
I am head over heels in love with my sweetie and he is hands down the BEST boyfriend and BEST lover I've ever had. But he is not perfect. He is, however, willing to communicate. Bedroom-wise, I wish he was a little more open to trying new things and not feeling so awkward about them, but we are working on that and I think that all I need is a little patience and to focus more on making him feel comfortable. Still working on the trying-to-orgasm-durin g-sex thing, and I've come close a couple times, but he doesn't last very long. Which I brought up to him and it really hurt his feelings. I wish he would ravish me the way he did when we first got together. Don't get me wrong, he's very affectionate and makes me feel very sexy, but he doesn't do the whole "kissing you all over because I want to explore your body" kind of thing that would make me feel incredibly sexy. I feel bad complaining, nobody is perfect and all the amazing wonderful awesomeness VASTLY outweighs the handful of imperfections. I'm a lucky girl
09/21/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Only physically ... a foot taller (he's six inches shorter than me), a little more hair on his head, and lived closer.

The last one can be changed. The first two I can live with because everything else about him makes up for it.
09/21/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
There are times that I wish my man was more naturally dominant. Sometimes his "on" switch flips him straight to crude, rather than the powerful and demanding Dom I see in my fantasies. Honestly, though, he's great. I mean, it'd be nice if he could read my mind and confidently give me exactly the scene I want, but he's not superhuman. Our communication is excellent and I've expressed myself on this topic a bunch of times, and he's a great listener. We're moving in the direction I like.. but if I could change anything, I would just fast-forward the process to get us there sooner, I guess.
09/21/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
We can go first on this, since our answers are both....YES, we WOULD change "something"...and since we BOTH know each others "something", we are okay here, together, admitting it. HE....I would have her be open, at least once or ... more
Certainly my guys aren't perfect but they are open to suggestion so I take them up on it an suggest away!
09/21/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
I'm content with my partner. If there were a magic button, though? Sure. Mainly because the few changes I'd be interested in are changes that he'd like to make himself, and if there were a way to make it easier, go for it. I also know there are changes that he'd like in me, and I'm comfortable with that.
09/21/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I think both my husband and I would benefit from losing a couple of pounds.
09/21/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
Quote:
Originally posted by Kkay
I'm content with my partner. If there were a magic button, though? Sure. Mainly because the few changes I'd be interested in are changes that he'd like to make himself, and if there were a way to make it easier, go for it. I also know ... more
This is my answer too because the things we'd change in each other are things we've already begun working toward. I love him so much, and I recognize that neither of us is perfect. The thing I'd change about him, though, is to make him less sensitive. He's an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), which is great because he's great at reading emotions, very patient and understanding, really great at expressing himself and being intimate. But there are days when I want him to be the more traditional guy: take the reigns, make decisions, be assertive, be tougher among other guys.

I know he'd answer this question by wanting to change me into a more sensitive, emotionally open person (I'm a stoic). But like I said, we've already begun working together on our communication skills, so hopefully we won't need a magic change button!
09/21/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Rich! Tons of money! We'd have health insurance and a place to live and our college loans would be paid off! Otherwise, I wouldn't change anything.
09/21/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
WOW...how NICE to really see that SO many folks are very content with their significant others!!!! Heartwarming, really.
09/22/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
its easy to say that the grass is greener on the other side, that your wife/husband would be perfect if you could only change one little thing. I am not going to say that my wife is perfect, but I love her just the way she is. I could always find something to change, but then she would be a different person.
09/22/2011
Contributor: The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
I would never change anything about my fiancee!
09/22/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
Nothing really. There are times where he won't shut up long enough and listen, but other than that I can't complain because there's nothing else. As a young girl, I made a mental list of everything I would want in a man and I am truly still trying to figure out how it became possible. He's absolutely everything I've ever DREAMED of wanting and 5 years later it still feels unreal. I certainly wouldn't want to cheat on him or anything. I mean if I was going to change something it'd be something that would be of good to both of us, not something like sleeping with someone else. I might would change how hard he works and the hours he works, make it easier on him, but he is truly what I wanted. If there was a chance I could want someone else I would never be with him.
09/23/2011
Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
i'd change only one thing... that he wanted to take his time. i'd love to slowly start seducing eachother bit by bit and play in bed for... the entire fucking day. he usually likes to get in get out and move on. go to sleep, smoke a cig, start the day...

i've never gotten a chance to just go at it with him for more than the very rare 2 hrs at a time. i'd love to just play together in bed. maybe some day he'll be more comfortable with it. we've only been together a year.
09/23/2011
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
I wish my wife were more open to trying new things and exploring her sexuality.
01/08/2013
Contributor: evie.amor evie.amor
I wish my man was more of a sexual person. I'm very sexual/physical, I love sex, touching, and trying new things sexually. He's not into bondage or rough sex either, which I LOVE. But I still love him like crazy!
01/08/2013
Contributor: travelnurse travelnurse
I wish that my husband had the stamina that he had 15 years ago and the libido!
01/08/2013
Contributor: Checkmate Checkmate
Quote:
Originally posted by travelnurse
I wish that my husband had the stamina that he had 15 years ago and the libido!
I'm sure many husbands are in the same boat as yours. And believe me, I wish I had more stamina and libido!!

As far as my wife, I wish she was more agressive sexually.
01/08/2013