If you have a secret fantasy that your partner may not approve of do you share it with them?

The New Intimacy

If you have a secret fantasy that your partner may not approve of do you share it with them?

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Contributor: That Guy That Guy
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I hope you don't take this offensively, but that sounds incredibly lonely to me.
I'm with you there, BBW.

@Naughty Student, I felt the same way for a long time. We got over it, but I can say it wasn't pleasant for me while it lasted. I'm sorry to hear you're going through that.
02/12/2011
Contributor: 0oh 0oh
I feel like I can share any fantasy I have with my partner. Granted, I'll get all red in the face and shy every time, I can still at least tell him what I think would be fun without being shunned, ridiculed, or anything else. So far there's no fantasy I've mentioned that he didn't like! In fact that's why I've joined the Eden community recently.
02/12/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by That Guy
I'm with you there, BBW.

@Naughty Student, I felt the same way for a long time. We got over it, but I can say it wasn't pleasant for me while it lasted. I'm sorry to hear you're going through that.
There's a lot of fantasies that we will never fulfill because neither one of us is comfortable with actually making it happen. But some of them will and that is AWESOME!
02/12/2011
Contributor: AU AU
I kind of hope that a relationship where everything is not open and easy to discuss is perceived here as being an unhappy or uncomfortable relationship? Of course, sometimes these are unhappy, but not always.
02/17/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by AU
I kind of hope that a relationship where everything is not open and easy to discuss is perceived here as being an unhappy or uncomfortable relationship? Of course, sometimes these are unhappy, but not always.
I don't perceive the relationship as unhappy or uncomfortable. I, personally, just feel that it would be lonely. It sounds lonely to me. But that's my "outside looking in" view.
02/17/2011
Contributor: AU AU
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I don't perceive the relationship as unhappy or uncomfortable. I, personally, just feel that it would be lonely. It sounds lonely to me. But that's my "outside looking in" view.
I have seen relationships that differed from mine and seemed lonely to me for various reasons, so I kind of understand.

My partner and I are a little reserved. I have always found this to be a fairly positive trait. We like some privacy, but I don't think it feels lonely! We will share things when the time feels right to share. I like the slower unfolding of mysteries?

Just last night, my partner shared something with me that I may have not taken so well five years ago. I think he knew that I could take it with a sense of humor now. I thought it was cool to learn something new about him.
02/17/2011
Contributor: Solar Ray Solar Ray
I voted no... but it's a theoretical no because we do have open and honest relationship but certainly if there was something that I knew she wouldn't like and would be hurt or offended by I wouldn't even bring it up.
02/23/2011
Contributor: Alyxx Alyxx
My boyfriend and I share most of our sexual fantasies with each other, but there are some things that I sometimes fantasize about but would never actually want to do. I tend to keep these to myself.
03/07/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by SexSay
If you have a secret fantasy that your partner may not approve of do you share it with them? This is a question that I had to ask myself once, and to me it really determines the type of relationship you may have with them.
TOTAL honesty concerning things in the mind and heart, are not always best for ANY relationship. There is nothing wrong with any human having a few secrets of their own...so long as they don't act on the fantasy that they know their partner would "not approve of".
06/27/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I think you should be able to tell everything to your partner
06/27/2011
Contributor: roe6989 roe6989
Fantasies are just that fantasies. Neither you or your partner should be ashamed or angry because of fantasies. You do now have to pursue them. Sometimes it is just nice to create one for your own mental pleasure.
06/27/2011
Contributor: salaciousrex salaciousrex
I tell my guy most of my fantasies. The ones I haven't, just the time hasn't been right or I've forgotten, but there's none I'd be afraid to tell him or anything.
He isn't into a lot of stuff I am and we don't usually act on a lot of my fantasies, but I still tell him or ask him if we can do some of it sometimes. (He is very close minded, but I'm working on it)
He tells me his fantasies too, I'm glad we can be so open with each other, even if we won't ever act out all of mine
06/27/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
communication is incredibly important, even if he won't act on it. if anything, he might become comfortable in the future and entertain me
07/02/2011
Contributor: null null
It took a long time for me to admit some of my fantasies to my partner, and it used to really upset me that I didn't feel that I could share these things with him. Now that I have shared them with him and he's reluctant to try even the outer fringe of what I'd like to do, despite my willingness to try anything for him, it hurts my feelings even more. I am not likely to be quite as willing to open up in the future.
07/21/2011
Contributor: ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
I've found that more often than not, the things I fear saying end up being not that big of a deal. And when we're both open and honest, we end up learning the greatest (and kinkiest!) things about each other.
07/21/2011
Contributor: JessCee JessCee
I absolutely have to be honest with my partners... I can't help but tell them anything and everything I want/need/curious about.
07/21/2011
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
We have many interesting conversations about fantasies that will never be acted upon. Sometimes my husband will bring up a fantasy I told him about during sex just to get me all hot and bothered, even if it's not something we'd actually do. It's just talk, but it's super hot to be this open with each other.
09/24/2011
Contributor: ~*Nikila*~ ~*Nikila*~
Im often Too shy when im sober telling my Bf my fantasies and most of mine are really effin weird
09/24/2011
Contributor: sexfairy sexfairy
Having an open hearted relationship is important to me. I'd like to feel that I can share this with my partner.
07/29/2012
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by SexSay
If you have a secret fantasy that your partner may not approve of do you share it with them? This is a question that I had to ask myself once, and to me it really determines the type of relationship you may have with them.
No, I don't.
08/24/2012
Contributor: AHubbyof2SexualMinds AHubbyof2SexualMinds
It depends on how long you've been together. When I'd been with my wife 6 months I might now have felt as comfortable sharing, but now a decade in I tell her everything I'm thinking, at least sexually.
08/24/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by SexSay
If you have a secret fantasy that your partner may not approve of do you share it with them? This is a question that I had to ask myself once, and to me it really determines the type of relationship you may have with them.
If I absolutely know he's not going to go for it, I have no reason to share.
08/25/2012