Is Writing Erotica (Erotic Fiction) a Form of Cheating?

How in the world would that be considered cheating?

Exactly--it's like...not even in the same ball park. You're writing stories, not having sex or a romantic bond with another person. I get the feeling that some people expect their partner's sexuality to be about them and only about them, which I think is controlling and smacks of insecurity and lack of trust. Don't have fantasies, don't watch porn, don't develop harmless crushes on someone (you think Johnny Depp is hot?! Adultress!), don't masturbate, don't have toys, and now, don't write erotica--all of these things I've heard from people who are insecure about their partner's sexuality, and I think it's rigid and unrealistic.

If I wanted to write erotica and my partner was uncomfortable with it, I'm sorry, but I'd say, too bad; if I want to write it, then I am going to. And then we'd have a nice, long discussion about trust and being self differentiated, independent and that boundaries will be respected, as long as they are reasonable.

idunno people have different ideas as to what cheating is, i don't think it is at all but maybe your partner might.

This is basically what I was going to say too.

I personally don't see it as a form of cheating. Very interesting topic, as I've never even thought of this. But I could see a person having the right to be a little uncomfortable if their lovie is writing about a past experience. No way I'd do that, it'd be upsetting to a partner. But if you're making things up, I could see it going over better with most people.

Either way, if my partner was upset or uncomfy about it, no I would not do it. Instead, I'd just write the erotica based on OUR adventures. That'd make him feel including and probably less... hurt. A guy might even be pretty down with it if that's the route you take.

I mean as long as it's no fantasy you have with another person other than your partner, I don't think it's cheating. If I were to write erotica though, it be based off our own sex adventures and that's not a bad idea! Hey, if a partner's upset about it you could always decide to *try* out new fantasies with them of course, and then write your erotica based off that. I think that's a nicer and more fun way to go and would be less likely to cause hard feelings.

And as Iniglo said, there ARE other ways of making money. Plenty if you get creative enough. I am a writer myself and I find I do most of my work for VERY little to nothing. Writing is *not* the job you go into when you're tight on cash. Not in my opinion since it takes soooo much and so long to finally get paid for your work. Often most magazines and article-publishing site won't pay, but give your byline. That's fine with me, but I'm going to school for it and plan to actually work to make a career out of it since writing is my passion, not just something I'm going to do just to make extra $. But yes, if you're doing E-books and such, you'll be earning something, but I think if you're only doing it for extra $ and not for true passion, it's a bad idea. Writing isn't usually something you are extremely successful with unless you've got that passion for it and the patience, dear heavens, the patience! Why not try yardselling or selling some baked goods or something? That's the kind of things you do for extra $.

I agree. That does seem strange in my opinion. To me, a writer myself, just not an erotica writer, I don't see it as cheating if you're not writing about yourself with other people. However, writing it is not the same thing as using it to get off or to replace him such as what porn essentially does for most. In our opinion, porn is cheating. You're watching naked people screw and pretending/wishing or getting turned on by THEM and then taking your urges out on your partner unless you're going solo, which would be a form of "replacement" to most people. In our opnion, there is some huge differences in erotica and pornography. Erotica does not effect the brain the way pornography does.

No... I think it's just an outlet for our inner fantasies that we may never get to play out in our real lives.

Not making much sense to me either!

its not cheating.

it really depends to enterpretation