The New Intimacy

The Chubby Chaser Dilemma

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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I received a message on Facebook from a foreign fella who proclaimed (in Italian) how beautiful I was. Since his message was random, I looked at his profile and found it geared entirely towards his love of larger women.

This left me feeling entirely depressed that my body type is a 'fetish'. There's also a suspicious part of me that thinks "Maybe he's just collecting all these BBW's to make fun of their pictures with his friends."

Maybe it's really cultural differences, where I learned here in America that I'm not worthy of ANYTHING because I'm fat. Anything good was regarded with suspicion because making a fool of a desperate, insecure big girl was comedy gold to others.

I still half-expect the rug to be pulled out from under me regarding my Master. (Even though he's had his own cross to bear for being considered too short.)

Anyone else relate?
06/06/2011
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Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I received a message on Facebook from a foreign fella who proclaimed (in Italian) how beautiful I was. Since his message was random, I looked at his profile and found it geared entirely towards his love of larger women.

This left me feeling ... more
Although you might be dead on with regards to larger women being his "fetish", it may also simply be that larger women are his "type." I suppose that could be semantics, but to me it isn't.

I don't really look at body size that much when I consider what is attractive to me. OK, that's not entirely true. I certainly notice what size a woman is, but that doesn't dictate attraction. I've been found women to be attractive who are the American "ideal" and to women who weigh over twice as much as they do. I really can't explain what it is that attracts me to some women over others, but it isn't strictly body size.

I'm not sure that helps you, Chilipepper, but I hope it helps you understand that not all men are looking for the same thing in women.
06/07/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
I do understand, considering the fact that I have been called such a person. Which I am not, mind you. I just find bigger women to be beautiful too, just as beautiful as people of other sizes and body times.

Do not feel that the rug will be pulled out from under you! People will love you for the beautiful person you are, regardless of your exterior. And that's really what matters, yes? That they love you for the inside.

As a very short, thin man myself, I would be very upset if someone found me attractive based on anything but my personality. I dislike it very much, which is why I usually do not post photos of myself in many places.
06/07/2011
Contributor: deletedacct deletedacct
I'm currently seeing someone who likes me plus sized and at first i accused him of having "beer goggles." We initially kissed at a concert and at a get together where alcohol was served. He denies this and has since showed me affection sober. Like you, i'm also a little suspicious of men who are interested..maybe i need to learn to accept myself. Like the cliche saying goes, 'how can you love anyone when you don't love yourself.'
06/07/2011
Contributor: Stacey Stacey
I can relate Love... I am newly divorced after 25 years with the same man and am finding it very hard to get men to know me because I am 5'7" and 210lb. which I carry very well I am told. I am a professional, I am intelligent, I have morals, and I am not desperate or easy in any way. I am on a few Dating sites and still am not getting any responses because they are all looking for Barbie... Sorry boys she has a man Ken get over yourself... I will not settle yet again for another 25 years of misery!
06/07/2011
Contributor: Inwitari Inwitari
I have found myself thinking this way since I've gained more weight, but I've always been thick. Always feeling ignored by men, but occasionally a random guy will pay a little too much attention to me or my body and makes me feel strange. My hubby seems to like my body a little more now that I've put on weight, although I feel less attractive than before. I've also come to realize that there are men that really do like larger women, but I don't consider it a fetish since this whole "women have to be skinny to be hot" is actually relatively new in society. Larger women were revered up until the last decade or so (not exactly sure when this changeover really occurred).
06/08/2011
Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
Quote:
Originally posted by Inwitari
I have found myself thinking this way since I've gained more weight, but I've always been thick. Always feeling ignored by men, but occasionally a random guy will pay a little too much attention to me or my body and makes me feel strange. My ... more
Twiggy brought the change I think. Like how Chanel I think made tanning popular (which I'm still mad about since I CANNOT tan)? But a while back skinny meant poor because they couldn't afford to eat enough.

As far as I know, I do not have a fetish for plus size men and women, and I find PLENTY of larger individuals to be sexy, especially compared to the bony, shiny orange "things" you see running around today in my age group. One point I would like to make: skinny people like me don't have anything to cuddle against. Instead our bones just dig into you. NOT COMFY. The more you weigh, the more enjoyable it is to be in full body contact with you. I don't really wanna feel ribs when snuggling up to someone.
06/09/2011
Contributor: CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
To me a beautiful woman, is a beautiful woman. I think girls of almost any size can be really sexy. Don't get me wrong, if they are extremely large I would tend to shy away. But I enjoy looking at all healthy looking women. No 70 pounders or 500 pounders. Different women react to different senses I guess.
06/16/2011