Foursome with another couple

Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I was wondering the other night if anyone here on EF has been specifically in a foursome with another couple or as a groupmof singles/dating individuals.

Please include what type of relationship you have (mono/poly) and what the circumstances were for the foursome. What do you think is the best type of foursome scenario for a long term mono couple who are curious?

My guy is interested in a threesome. I think that a foursome with another couple, with which we do not physically interact but simply have sex with in the same room, is "safer" and could be easier on the emotional psychological aspect of the situation in the aftermath.

What do you guys think?
02/16/2011
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Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Not I personally, but I have a close friend who engages in it every weekend with his wife. They mostly switch partners and have sex in the same room, starting off with group foreplay and end up in pairs.
02/16/2011
Contributor: That Guy That Guy
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was wondering the other night if anyone here on EF has been specifically in a foursome with another couple or as a groupmof singles/dating individuals.

Please include what type of relationship you have (mono/poly) and what the circumstances ... more
I come from a position of absolutely no success in orchestrating this sort of thing, so I'll open by acknowledging that I know little to nothing about how to make this sort of thing work. Your question was vague in this respect: what sort of threesome is he interested in? If he's interested in a FFM threesome, I don't know that a foursome will even come close to scratching the same itch, as it were.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was wondering the other night if anyone here on EF has been specifically in a foursome with another couple or as a groupmof singles/dating individuals.

Please include what type of relationship you have (mono/poly) and what the circumstances ... more
Honey no matter how it may look right now if you need to orchestrate a sex act to feel "safer" then you really shouldn't be looking into adding more to your relationship. There is nothing safe about group sex...ANY addition to your monogamous relationship can potentially cause problems.

Even having sex with another couple in the room presumably doing the same things WILL lead to questions like: Was my guy getting off on watching HER? Would he rather be WITH her? Was my girl cumming so hard because she was thinking about being with HIM? Trust me on this, I've done it and these (or some variation) ARE the things you will think. What saves you is being able to talk to your lover frankly and honestly. You have to know that he won't lie to you and try to ease your jealousy...that's your problem to deal with.

You have a few extra issues: One of you could really hate the experience while the other simply LOVES it, one of you might feel the need to move forward and crave more than exhibitionism/voyeuris m while the other doesn't, both of you might want to do it again but you might both want different things. Having sex with strangers is awkward just like the first time you had sex with your current lover. This can also affect how the experience turns out.

My point is there really isn't a way to make inviting others into your bedroom safe for your relationship. There will be ramifications and trying to minimize them almost always backfires. You need to deal with your insecurities and realize that you love your partner. Regardless of what happens this won't change. Sex with others simply isn't so amazing that you will dream about the other participants and it will ruin your relationship unless there are problems in your relationship already that you are running away from.

It is best when you feel comfortable....it's ok to be nervous but you should be excitedly nervous not terrified that you are losing your lover. The aftermath can be greatly lessened if you are comfortable going into the experience. The time after is when you should be feeling SO close to your partner, you should feel like you have shared something AMAZING! You should feel like you have learned things about yourself and your partner and be able to discuss them openly. You should be lavishing attention on your partner and REVELING in the naughtiness that you TWO have shared. Even though I have two permanent partners we do this for each other all the time.

I wish you both the best and I hope you have an amazing experience that gives you an amazing shared story and a naughty sparkle in your eye when you see each other. I hope you find this to be an enriching activity that may or may not lead to other things. Please, though if you are feeling apprehensive take the time it takes to think this through...sex isn't going away and you'll never be to old to find someone who is looking for a -moresome.
02/16/2011
Contributor: markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by Naughty Student
I was wondering the other night if anyone here on EF has been specifically in a foursome with another couple or as a groupmof singles/dating individuals.

Please include what type of relationship you have (mono/poly) and what the circumstances ... more
I'm in a monogamous relationship and very happy. I have never considered adding someone else to the mix. I believe it would be hurtful and hard to share someone you love in that way and I do believe that things would go down hill from there. Some relationships can work that way, but very few. My advise is don't. Keep what you have and don't take the chance of it falling apart.
02/17/2011
Contributor: pookalicious pookalicious
It all depends on what is going to make you and your partner comfortable and uncomfortable. Are you going to feel insecure if you watch him with someone else? After the act is over, are you going to feel insecure if he loves it and wants to do it again, but it made you feel differently than expected? In my personal marriage, I know that I'm too much of a jealous ninny to handle that, so we wouldn't. But if you know without a doubt that you and your partner wouldn't be jealous, then go for it.
02/21/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
Honey no matter how it may look right now if you need to orchestrate a sex act to feel "safer" then you really shouldn't be looking into adding more to your relationship. There is nothing safe about group sex...ANY addition to your ... more
I really appreciate your help Airen. I know I can look to you to enlighten me on these sort of things.

I feel like are realtionship is great, we have issues on little things like any normal relationship but we always work it out through verbal communication. We are usually very open. I wouldn't want to do anything to our relationship that could potentially damage it. This is why I have been so for and against this whole thing. I am so excited by the prospect of trying new things with other partners but I don't think this could happen in the way we expect are want it to.

If it is meant to be it will happen eventually. I think that I just have to be patient.
02/21/2011
Contributor: CPTInsanity CPTInsanity
When I was in college I had sex in front of my roomates, in the bed of a truck going down a busy road, and in front of my past girlfriend's best friend. I didn't think anything of it, but our relationship ended very shortly after doing all this stuff. It probably had nothing to do with the sexaul acts itself, and more to do with us not having anything in common. But I will say that doing it in front of her bestfriend was pretty cool. We both got off on that. I would not have minded if she would have joined in, but it didn't get to that. You could tell that the friend was quite uncomfortable being there watching us, but no one made her stay.
02/23/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
I would never do this. If I wasnt commited, maybe, but I would never want to see him enjoying someone else.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
I'm in a monogamous relationship and very happy. I have never considered adding someone else to the mix. I believe it would be hurtful and hard to share someone you love in that way and I do believe that things would go down hill from there. Some ... more
I completely agree.
02/24/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
You sound alot like me when we first started venturing into this. My husband is the one who brought up a threesome first. I told him the same thing you did, that I would feel more comfortable having same room sex with other couples before we did this. We've been in that situation several times since then, had foursomes and now I think I'm ready for the threesome he so desires. I'm in the process now of finding the right lady for the night of fun we're planning. There are some boundaries we have set for this night. As long as you are both comfortable with the boundaries you set together all should be ok. But you really have to know that this is what you want.

If you want someone to chat with about this, just give me a shout. I'll be happy to talk to you about our experiences and help you figure out if this is something you really want to do.
02/26/2011
Contributor: MontereyJak MontereyJak
We started out playing with other couples, most of the time was same room sex with the others partner and sometimes with my own partner. When she isn't "feeling" the couple time, we will switch to MMF or MFF depending on our wants at the time. We joined a lifestyle site and have met some great people from that. I would say that an open communication line between you guys is so important. We are having a great time with this and have said several times wondering why we didn't do this years ago.
08/14/2011