We don't let our child sleep in our bed so it's easier to spice things up for us.
how do you spice up things if kids sleep in same bed?
05/06/2012
Quote:
I really don't want my kids to sleep in the same bed as us... however when I was little, I really hated it when my dad wouldn't allow me to sleep in the same bed as my mom.
Originally posted by
tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
05/06/2012
Quote:
After a certain age, a child shouldn't be in the same bed as the parent. You have so much time during the day to snuggle cuddle and love on your kids, theres no reason why they should be invading your personal space in the bed with you and your partner. That is your time with your SO and that is private time. If nothing else, its your sanity time lmao!
Originally posted by
tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
Unless there is an issue with the child that requires attention, they are sick, disability or other concerns, there shouldn't be a child in the bed with you. Not to mention, it causes severe clinginess and/or inability to be independent and form a healthy sense of separation and knowing where those boundaries lie.
05/09/2012
Quote:
I should add that I understand some co sleep, nurse and what not. Im not really talking about those situations or children that are babies/toddlers/nursin g/etc.
Originally posted by
jmex83
After a certain age, a child shouldn't be in the same bed as the parent. You have so much time during the day to snuggle cuddle and love on your kids, theres no reason why they should be invading your personal space in the bed with you and your
...
more
After a certain age, a child shouldn't be in the same bed as the parent. You have so much time during the day to snuggle cuddle and love on your kids, theres no reason why they should be invading your personal space in the bed with you and your partner. That is your time with your SO and that is private time. If nothing else, its your sanity time lmao!
Unless there is an issue with the child that requires attention, they are sick, disability or other concerns, there shouldn't be a child in the bed with you. Not to mention, it causes severe clinginess and/or inability to be independent and form a healthy sense of separation and knowing where those boundaries lie. less
Unless there is an issue with the child that requires attention, they are sick, disability or other concerns, there shouldn't be a child in the bed with you. Not to mention, it causes severe clinginess and/or inability to be independent and form a healthy sense of separation and knowing where those boundaries lie. less
Im talking about when its "bedtime, its bedtime" and children need to understand that. Im talking about 11pm, midnight, 1,2am kind of stuff. If its 7,8,9pm and the kids just wanna cuddle or something, thats totally understandable.
I knew a friend that would let their child (at 5yrs old) sleep in their bed three or four times a week because they would wake up, come into their bedroom and just want to sleep there. Nothing wrong, no bad dreams, just woke up and was not handling sleeping in their own room well. She would let them lay there and sleep. That put a huge hole in her relationship with her SO because they had no personal time together.
When a child "makes the rules" or isn't shown that "Its ok, but its time for bed, let me help you back to your room" or maybe nightlights or teddies or something to help soothe them back to bed....it can be really dangerous for their ability to understand where to draw that line. It just drives me nuts to see some of my friends suffer, when the solution is really quite easy. You can put your foot down and gently, calmly and lovingly still show them that you are the parent, they are the child and to learn the difference between who makes the rules and what is or isn't acceptable.
05/09/2012
I don't have kids, and I don't really want to have kids. But I'm pretty sure I wouldn't feel shy about kicking their butts out of bed if I needed time with my honey.
05/19/2012
I would NEVER allow my child to sleep with me unless they had a nightmare or was scared.
Even my husband says the same thing. Our bed is OUR bed, not my childs.
Even my husband says the same thing. Our bed is OUR bed, not my childs.
05/20/2012
Quote:
Co-sleeping is an amazing way to bond with your kids....but there must be an end to it. Around age 2 we started getting out kids to sleep in their own beds. Until then, we just had sex in other rooms of the house. Is it inconvenient? Yes! But your kids only little for so long.
Originally posted by
tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
05/22/2012
Quote:
Children should not be allowed to sleep in there parents beds. Parents need some time alone, and the bed is a parents sanctuary.
Originally posted by
tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
05/28/2012
Quote:
What? Spice up... I would hope it would not be at the same time.
Originally posted by
tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
10/31/2012
we let our son sleep in our bed. He does sleep in his own bed every now n then. But we spice things up by getting out of the room and going else where we normally do everything before we even go to bed anyways.
11/05/2012
I have a son, hes 4 and when he has nightmares or if hes sick I allow him to sleep in the same Bed with us but other then that, no, he knows that he has to sleep in his room, before he had his own room he slept in the same bed with us for a long time because we never had a place that had more then one room so we had to be creative when it came to sex, we never had sex on the bed, we always had our fun in the living room or the bathroom, or, well pretty much anywhere we could lol but I HAD to have him sleep with us, but it was because we had no choice, I dont think its okay for parents to let their kids sleep with them unless they have nightmares of are feeling sick,no other reasons to have them sleep with you.
11/05/2012
Dont have kids. They should have their own beds.
11/05/2012
kick the kids out the bed an make them sleep in their own bed.
11/06/2012
Quote:
I am sure a lot of people don't agree with co-sleeping. But we did it with our kids. What happens? Love happens SOMEWHERE ELSE!
Originally posted by
tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
Does it make things harder? yes...sex wise. But uninterrupted sleep is a wonderful thing.
11/06/2012
Um...not letting kids sleep in the bed? Seriously, how else would you spice it up? If you want to have sex, your kids need to be not present.
11/06/2012
Quote:
Kids have had their own beds since day 1!
Originally posted by
tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
11/07/2012
I don't think its such a big deal for kids to sleep in the same bed, just not as an every single night, kind of thing.
11/07/2012
I have a 2 year old & a 9 month old. My two year old has slept with his grandmother & grandfather for the past year while we lived with them & on occasions would sleep with us, but no sexual activity took place (before moving with them he always slept in his bed, at that time it was a little easier, he was still in a crib, he couldn't just get up when ever he wanted). My 9 month old has always slept in a bassinet or portable crib set up in our room. Now we have just moved this past week, the first night we all slept on the floor in our room since nothing was set up yet, the second night my 9 month old slept in her crib in their room & my son slept in his bed for half the night then had a nightmare & came & slept with us. He has slept in our bed all week except the past two nights where we have made him a place on the floor next to our bed. We are hoping this will slowly transfer him to his own bed. However, we do encourage co-sleeping when necessary however no sexual activity, but we will if theirs sleeping in the room but not in our bed, but that's us & everyone is different.
11/10/2012
Quote:
Yess! I wish more people, including doctors now a days would get better educated. When my 2 year old was born they told me he needed to sleep on his stomach, it was the safest way. When my 9month was born (almost 2 years later) they told me she needed to sleep on her back, it was the safest way. Main point here, education is key, however everyone has there theories/oppions/Expie rence.
Originally posted by
badk1tty
Without singling anyone out, I'm a little offended about the judgmental attitude about "KICK THE KIDS OUT, THEY NEED TO GO". Sure, kids don't need to sleep with their parents, but there's a lot more involved behind it than just
...
more
Without singling anyone out, I'm a little offended about the judgmental attitude about "KICK THE KIDS OUT, THEY NEED TO GO". Sure, kids don't need to sleep with their parents, but there's a lot more involved behind it than just "medical reasons".
Love, comfort, nursing, security, etc. Both of my children were co-sleepers for a time. My first would end up in our bed more often than not because of nursing. She is 5, and sleeps in her own bed, but doesn't hesitate to come sleep with mom if she just wants some extra cuddles.
My 21 week old sleeps with me nearly every night. She's nursing, and she wakes up every 2-3 hours to eat. She wakes up, takes 15 minutes to eat, and another 30 minutes to go back to bed in her crib, during which time she also wakes up the 5 year old, who then takes another 15-20 minutes to get back to bed for herself. So every 2-3 hours, I'd be up for an hour. That cuts my 8 hours of sleep down to about 5, and when I'm cranky, everyone's cranky. When she sleeps with me, however, she doesn't even fully wake up to eat, she just nuzzles in, eats, and goes right back to sleep. Most of the time I don't even wake up more than to just adjust for her.
As for the dangers of co-sleeping, if it's done right it's safer than cribs, because parents and children both are aware of the other. It's called "protective arousal". My husband can tell you, when the baby adjusts, I adjust. When I roll over, even in my sleep, I will cuddle the baby and roll her over with me. We are always facing chest to chest. This is normal for co-sleeping, and as long as you don't have excessively heavy or fluffy pillows/blankets, and you don't ever EVEREVEREVER go to sleep under the influence of tobacco/drugs/alcohol/ Rx's, etc, there are -less- risks for SIDS with co-sleeping than with not. (Yes, tobacco).
All of this is very documented in medical journals/studies/with many Dr's, etc. Look around at other cultures, many of them co-sleep until the children are nearing puberty. It's been done this way for hundreds of years, and only recently did it became a huge problem - mainly in the 50's and 60's with an increase in SIDS because of parents putting their children down in fluffy cribs, face down.
Anyhow, I'm rambling. My point is, if you don't know the situation and haven't done the research, please don't just blindly judge or blanket assume. Everyone has different reasons for wanting to co-sleep, or to not co-sleep. Either way, it doesn't make it bad, as long as it's being done safely.
As for the initial question, we don't have sex with our kids in the bed. They do have their own beds, and will sleep in them. However, with my husband being deployed, I don't have to worry about the whole sex thing. If I want to get frisky with myself, she goes in the crib, mama does her thing, and then when she wakes up a few hours later for her feeding, if she needs to come back, she can.
As a side note, a lot of information can be found at Dr Sears' website, with a lot of external links to medical journals, etc. I'm not trying to preach, but it's really no different to blanket judge a situation like this, as it is to say "all people who like BDSM were abused!", like many media outlets will tell you. Just my take. less
Love, comfort, nursing, security, etc. Both of my children were co-sleepers for a time. My first would end up in our bed more often than not because of nursing. She is 5, and sleeps in her own bed, but doesn't hesitate to come sleep with mom if she just wants some extra cuddles.
My 21 week old sleeps with me nearly every night. She's nursing, and she wakes up every 2-3 hours to eat. She wakes up, takes 15 minutes to eat, and another 30 minutes to go back to bed in her crib, during which time she also wakes up the 5 year old, who then takes another 15-20 minutes to get back to bed for herself. So every 2-3 hours, I'd be up for an hour. That cuts my 8 hours of sleep down to about 5, and when I'm cranky, everyone's cranky. When she sleeps with me, however, she doesn't even fully wake up to eat, she just nuzzles in, eats, and goes right back to sleep. Most of the time I don't even wake up more than to just adjust for her.
As for the dangers of co-sleeping, if it's done right it's safer than cribs, because parents and children both are aware of the other. It's called "protective arousal". My husband can tell you, when the baby adjusts, I adjust. When I roll over, even in my sleep, I will cuddle the baby and roll her over with me. We are always facing chest to chest. This is normal for co-sleeping, and as long as you don't have excessively heavy or fluffy pillows/blankets, and you don't ever EVEREVEREVER go to sleep under the influence of tobacco/drugs/alcohol/ Rx's, etc, there are -less- risks for SIDS with co-sleeping than with not. (Yes, tobacco).
All of this is very documented in medical journals/studies/with many Dr's, etc. Look around at other cultures, many of them co-sleep until the children are nearing puberty. It's been done this way for hundreds of years, and only recently did it became a huge problem - mainly in the 50's and 60's with an increase in SIDS because of parents putting their children down in fluffy cribs, face down.
Anyhow, I'm rambling. My point is, if you don't know the situation and haven't done the research, please don't just blindly judge or blanket assume. Everyone has different reasons for wanting to co-sleep, or to not co-sleep. Either way, it doesn't make it bad, as long as it's being done safely.
As for the initial question, we don't have sex with our kids in the bed. They do have their own beds, and will sleep in them. However, with my husband being deployed, I don't have to worry about the whole sex thing. If I want to get frisky with myself, she goes in the crib, mama does her thing, and then when she wakes up a few hours later for her feeding, if she needs to come back, she can.
As a side note, a lot of information can be found at Dr Sears' website, with a lot of external links to medical journals, etc. I'm not trying to preach, but it's really no different to blanket judge a situation like this, as it is to say "all people who like BDSM were abused!", like many media outlets will tell you. Just my take. less
11/10/2012
I don't think I'd mind my children sleeping in the bed with us SOMETIMES, but bed is largely mommy-daddy space, I think. And honestly, I slept in the same bed as my mom when I was much younger just because we had limited space and my parents were divorced, but I never really liked it much.
As for spicing things up, though... You can always try different locations at different times of the day!
As for spicing things up, though... You can always try different locations at different times of the day!
11/10/2012
Quote:
Have no kids.
Originally posted by
tlaskowski
So my kids both sleep in there own bed but I do have friends that let there kid sleep in the same bed as them! so would you or do you do this and if so how do you spice up things?
12/13/2012
I'm very adamant about our son not sleeping with us. When he was first born, we let him sleep with us, off and on, for about a week. Then I had him sleeping in the bassinet next to us. After that he was in his crib, in his own room.
My husband wants to let him sleep with us, once in awhile. I still put my foot down and say no, or move him in his sleep. He's 2 1/2 and I want my space. Plus he doesn't sleep well in our bed. I don't want it to become a habit and there's no way we would have sex with him in the bed.
My husband wants to let him sleep with us, once in awhile. I still put my foot down and say no, or move him in his sleep. He's 2 1/2 and I want my space. Plus he doesn't sleep well in our bed. I don't want it to become a habit and there's no way we would have sex with him in the bed.
04/01/2013
Cosleeping is popular because it allows moms to get their sleep. We did it and basically spicing it up was left for other locations (kids sleep more than parents). So we could do it on the couch, shower, etc and the kids weren't the wiser since they were already asleep in our bed. We kick them out after a few months...I-the dude-did not mind it since it allowed both of us to sleep through the night.
04/02/2013
We co-slept with our daughter for nearly a year. We only moved her to her own room because she wasn't sleeping well in our room anymore (light sleeper, despite my best efforts to make her otherwise).
Otherwise, she'd still be in our room...it was harder on me to have her leave our room, than her. Our sex life didn't skip a beat while she was in our room (she was never in our bed, though - our set up isn't safe for an infant in the bed)
If kids sleeping in the bed, at any age, tears an unrepairable hole in the relationship - there is already one existing.
We chose to have our daughter, after being together 6 years - we've had 6 years of uninterrupted time together, I am OK with making sacrifices in my life and our alone time while she's small. Kids are only this small for so long, and there will be a day that she doesn't run to me when she has a nightmare, or I have to force a hug and kiss out of her when it's not cool to hug your mom any more. Those are the days we will get our uninterrupted time back together...and in the mean time, we find other ways (and places) to enjoy each other and keep our relationship and sex life strong.
If kids are in the bed, move the adult activity out of the bed. Sneak some shower sex in in the morning before the little one wakes up, slip away in the middle of the night. It really isn't that difficult!
That said - there is a huge difference between parents and kids co-sleeping happily, and parents resentfully allowing a child into bed night after night because it's easier than trying to change the situation. If anyone is unhappy with the situation or no longer thriving with the way things are - then it needs to change. Whether that means no more kids in the bed except rare occasions, or rules as to what time they can or can't come in, etc. There are ways to make everyone happy, and things should always be done with that in mind.
Otherwise, she'd still be in our room...it was harder on me to have her leave our room, than her. Our sex life didn't skip a beat while she was in our room (she was never in our bed, though - our set up isn't safe for an infant in the bed)
If kids sleeping in the bed, at any age, tears an unrepairable hole in the relationship - there is already one existing.
We chose to have our daughter, after being together 6 years - we've had 6 years of uninterrupted time together, I am OK with making sacrifices in my life and our alone time while she's small. Kids are only this small for so long, and there will be a day that she doesn't run to me when she has a nightmare, or I have to force a hug and kiss out of her when it's not cool to hug your mom any more. Those are the days we will get our uninterrupted time back together...and in the mean time, we find other ways (and places) to enjoy each other and keep our relationship and sex life strong.
If kids are in the bed, move the adult activity out of the bed. Sneak some shower sex in in the morning before the little one wakes up, slip away in the middle of the night. It really isn't that difficult!
That said - there is a huge difference between parents and kids co-sleeping happily, and parents resentfully allowing a child into bed night after night because it's easier than trying to change the situation. If anyone is unhappy with the situation or no longer thriving with the way things are - then it needs to change. Whether that means no more kids in the bed except rare occasions, or rules as to what time they can or can't come in, etc. There are ways to make everyone happy, and things should always be done with that in mind.
04/02/2013
go to a diff room or move kids when they fall asleep
05/10/2013
Not all the time, but the best part of growing up is when everyone slept in the same bed maybe once or twice a week. Then kick the kids out!
05/10/2013
If I had kids and they were in the bed, I wouldn't be trying to do anything sexual....?
05/10/2013
I don't have kids yet, and I wouldn't let them.
05/13/2013
Forget spicing it up - I can't imagine ANY sort of sex with the little ones in bed with us. It took us some time to break her of regularly joining us in bed, though she still creeps in every once in a while after a nightmare.
05/15/2013
Total posts: 59
Unique posters: 53
- 1
-
2