The New Intimacy

internet cheating?

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Contributor: ICEE ICEE
ok your married

1) you start talking to someone and you start flirting and talking dirty to this person. do you consider this cheating?

2) what about sending naked pics of yourself to this person?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
yes to question number 1
31
no to question number 1
3
yes to question number 2
31
no to question number 2
2
Total votes: 67 (33 voters)
Poll is closed
05/21/2013
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Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
If you're hiding it from your spouse, yes, it's cheating. However, if you and your spouse have a clear-cut agreement on this being acceptable, than it's fine.
05/21/2013
Contributor: surreptitious surreptitious
(Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
If you're hiding it from your spouse, yes, it's cheating. However, if you and your spouse have a clear-cut agreement on this being acceptable, than it's fine.
Exactly this. If my partner and I have an agreement saying that this is acceptable, then it's acceptable. If you have to ask this question, then you should definitely be asking it of your spouse, because anything that you suspect might be cheating probably is. Talking about it, though, will make it clear either way. If you think that your spouse is so possessive that you'd be uncomfortable bringing this up with them, then there's your answer for it too - if you can't even talk about it, there's no way that you can do it.
05/21/2013
Contributor: namelesschaos namelesschaos
Depends on the boundaries me and the person I'm in set.
05/21/2013
Contributor: Pierced Blaqk Skies Pierced Blaqk Skies
I run a RP blog that's sex-driven and I have people message me all of the time with sexual remarks. I, being an RP sex blog, don't see it as cheating. I'm not having sex with any of the people that I have messaging contacts. I get lots of submissions of nude or other NSFW pictures but that's about it.

I RP a D/s relationship with a long time friend of mine who is also in a committed relationship (I am as well) and I don't see it as cheating.

I don't know, maybe my situation is a bit different?
05/21/2013
Contributor: ICEE ICEE
Quote:
Originally posted by Pierced Blaqk Skies
I run a RP blog that's sex-driven and I have people message me all of the time with sexual remarks. I, being an RP sex blog, don't see it as cheating. I'm not having sex with any of the people that I have messaging contacts. I get lots of ... more
ok so heres what happened. my hubby got me interested on this online game that he plays. i started playing and made some friends and in the game we would flirt back and forth in front of everyone (yes even in front of my hubby and in front of this guys wife). then we started to chat in private with more flirting and then it lead to pics. my hubby found out and lost it. needless to say he was hurt.
05/21/2013
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Quote:
Originally posted by ICEE
ok so heres what happened. my hubby got me interested on this online game that he plays. i started playing and made some friends and in the game we would flirt back and forth in front of everyone (yes even in front of my hubby and in front of this ... more
Sounds like there wasn't enough communication surrounding what the boundaries were. He was okay with the flirting, but the photos were crossing the line. This is why it's SO important to have good, open communication with your partner, especially with issues like this.

Do you understand where he's coming from? Were you trying to hide it or was it easy for him to find? How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

It doesn't sound like you were trying to hurt him, but it simply sounds like you didn't communicate enough. I hope you two are able to work through this.
05/21/2013
Contributor: Herzer Herzer
Quote:
Originally posted by PropertyOfPotter
If you're hiding it from your spouse, yes, it's cheating. However, if you and your spouse have a clear-cut agreement on this being acceptable, than it's fine.
Summed it up perfectly.
05/21/2013
Contributor: Ryuson Ryuson
(Review Program Mentor)
For me and my partner, any sexual relations (even online) with another person is cheating. Flirting online may be different, as I am a very teasing person, but 'cyber sex' is for sure not okay.

It totally depends on the relationship, though. If you and your partner decide it's okay, it's okay, but you do something that goes against the decided rules of your relationship... It's cheating.
05/21/2013
Contributor: married with children married with children
if you looking somewhere other then your spouse, then yes it is cheating.
05/21/2013
Contributor: wicked48 wicked48
If your partner knows what your doing and doesn't have a problem with it, it's not cheating. If your partner is does not know what you're doing; yes, it's cheating.
05/21/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by ICEE
ok your married

1) you start talking to someone and you start flirting and talking dirty to this person. do you consider this cheating?

2) what about sending naked pics of yourself to this person?
I consider both to be cheating, by far.
05/22/2013
Contributor: LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
If your husband doesn't know about it, I would consider both cheating.
05/22/2013
Contributor: KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
The first one is a gray area that is determined by your relationship. The second is still gray, but much more so cheating like behavior in my opinion.
05/22/2013
Contributor: oneeyedoctopus oneeyedoctopus
If everyone knows what's going on and is fine with it then it isn't cheating. If you keep it a secret because you think he'll be bothered by it then it is.
05/22/2013
Contributor: Feisty Feisty
Yes, I think that both situations are considered cheating.
05/22/2013
Contributor: dancingduo dancingduo
Quote:
Originally posted by ICEE
ok your married

1) you start talking to someone and you start flirting and talking dirty to this person. do you consider this cheating?

2) what about sending naked pics of yourself to this person?
So cyber sex and sending nude pics?

if you have to ask...yes.
05/22/2013
Contributor: sXeVegan90 sXeVegan90
Yes, I believe both are considered cheating if your partner doesn't know about it. Obviously if you're doing something like this behind your partner's back without them knowing about it, it's cheating.
05/22/2013
Contributor: llellsee llellsee
If it is being hidden from your partner, yes to both.
05/22/2013
Contributor: BrittaniMaree BrittaniMaree
yes to both
05/22/2013
Contributor: Gluesnffr Gluesnffr
Yes to both.
05/22/2013
Contributor: Hazeleyes2012 Hazeleyes2012
Ditto yes to both!
05/22/2013
Contributor: Trixxxy Trixxxy
Quote:
Originally posted by ICEE
ok your married

1) you start talking to someone and you start flirting and talking dirty to this person. do you consider this cheating?

2) what about sending naked pics of yourself to this person?
Meh not really. It's rude but not cheating but sometimes I can't help myself.
05/22/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by ICEE
ok your married

1) you start talking to someone and you start flirting and talking dirty to this person. do you consider this cheating?

2) what about sending naked pics of yourself to this person?
Cheating is depriving your partner of something they value whether it be an experience, knowledge or anything you have agreed is valuable. For some couples none of this would be cheating for others even being on the internet interacting with someone else would be cheating.

Every person in any form of relationship should discuss such things often with their partner(s) so that they carve out for themselves boundaries and safe zones. that way there is no "surprise cheating" going on!
05/22/2013
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by ICEE
ok so heres what happened. my hubby got me interested on this online game that he plays. i started playing and made some friends and in the game we would flirt back and forth in front of everyone (yes even in front of my hubby and in front of this ... more
Then yes what you did was cheat your partner out of something he obviously felt was important and his alone. You need to sit down and really discuss your boundaries and treat this with all seriousness because this is a serious breach of trust. He was hurt and you need to make amends but be wary of promising outlandish things like you will never play an online game or talk to people online. You should maybe agree on what sort of information you are sharing with online friends...naked pics are definitely a trigger point and that could be something you not do in future. Then again he may relax in time and become proud that you like showing your body off but you share your sex only with him. Lots of couples love this sort of exchange!
05/22/2013
Contributor: HarlequinBunnie HarlequinBunnie
Cheating on both. Giving your time, attention, affections, and an unclad version of yourself to another is cheating in my mind.
05/22/2013
Contributor: Dolphin Lady Dolphin Lady
Cheating on both. I have had this done to me.
05/22/2013
Contributor: Fluke Fluke
It's cheating, but it's forgivable cheating. There's a huge leap between saying something online and doing something in real life.

I think it is more and more common for people to e-cheat nowadays. This is something you can certainly use to work out some problems in your relationship and make it stronger. Not nearly the death sentence that is sleeping with someone is in my opinion at least.
05/23/2013
Contributor: UnknownGirl UnknownGirl
I don't think either are cheating, but that's just me. I know when all is said and done, I'm the one he's actually having sex with.
05/23/2013