Make sure that you set apart time alone to work on the rest of the relationship as well. Going into the bedroom and trying to launch a discussion of "what should we try now" has never worked for us. Take an evening, do some of the things that remind you of why you fell in love, and see what develops.

Having a personal idea of something that is either new or you haven't done in a while is a definite plus as well. less

It happens to us all - LOL. What are some things that you've tried when you're in a sexual rut with your partner? What worked best?

I try communication which helps depending on how open he is to talking at the time.

New toys are a huge plus, but we can only afford so much. Expecting new goodies gives us something to talk about and something new to look forward to. Unfortunately, it seems a good part of them are disappointing and rarely get used. less

Date nights are out, because we have no family or friends who will babysit and we have 6 kids from toddlers to teens. We've only been away ONE NIGHT together and that will probably be it for a very long time.

And bringing other people into it - no go there. I would never want to be with anyone else. And I hope he feels the same. I'm way too jealous to even THINK about it. And I'm still old-fashioned that marriage and sex is between 2 people. less

Date nights are out, because we have no family or friends who will babysit and we have 6 kids from toddlers to teens. We've only been away ONE NIGHT together and that will probably be it for a very long time.

And bringing other people into it - no go there. I would never want to be with anyone else. And I hope he feels the same. I'm way too jealous to even THINK about it. And I'm still old-fashioned that marriage and sex is between 2 people. less

BoomersGirl - we never used paid sitters (too expensive). Now the kids are grown so we do the date night thing - but prior to that we had to create our excitement in the privacy of our bedroom. As you know it's not easy being sexy when your exhausted and the TV is on to mask the sound of what's actually going on!

But it is possible. The formula is to throw out the formula - because the formula has become the rut. I admit to almost buying my way out of the rut by continuously introducing new toys.

We started with clit vibes - then started using them for penetration - then moved on to rabbit style vibes. This went on for years before we added non-vibrating dildos to the repertoire.

And in all of these categories there are a wide range of materials; jelly (we don't buy anymore), silicone, dual-density silicone, glass, steel, aluminum - plus the textures; smooth, rippled, nubby, tapered, curved, etc.

All of these add an element of change - then you have the mental side of being willing to try new things that may be beyond your spouses comfort zone.

Since then we've added sex furniture like the Liberator Wedge & Ramp with a Throe - some of the best investments we've made.

Since men are so visually centered my wife also has a wide range of LolaLuna micro-g strings, Sylvie Monthule intimate jewelry & other lingerie.

Lately we've even been getting me in the act - using some anal/prostate stimulation and erection rings. We have a $5 silicone cock-ring that she absolutely loves when I use it. It makes me slightly larger and harder - plus last longer - all good things.

Bottom line is take a few minutes during the day to plan something different for your spouse. The act of planning is an aphrodisiac all by itself. Anticipation engages your largest sex organ - that 10 lb thing they call your brain!

Enjoy the journey and don't be afraid to offend or risk failure. less

Gunsmoke, a good White Noise machine in the kids rooms and a vaporizer in the hallway, AND the fan on in the bathroom can mask a multitude of sins. I don't even think I can Come without the sound of a White Noise Machine in the background. Hahaahaha! Target has them for less than %50.00.

I run the frickin vaporizer in the middle of summer.

I wish Eden carried White Noise Machines, they are essential for families with kids, especially if Mama is LOUD! less

It happens to us all - LOL. What are some things that you've tried when you're in a sexual rut with your partner? What worked best?

I try communication which helps depending on how open he is to talking at the time.

New toys are a huge plus, but we can only afford so much. Expecting new goodies gives us something to talk about and something new to look forward to. Unfortunately, it seems a good part of them are disappointing and rarely get used. less