Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
To snoop or not to snoop?
Discussion Topics
1.
To snoop or not to snoop?
(68 posts)
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
11/13/2012
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Treat his possessions the way you want yours treated. Would you feel pissed or upset if he snooped?
11/13/2012
I personally wouldn't do it. I wouldn't like my partner doing it to me, so I wouldnt do it either. And the way I look at it, if there's no trust and/or respect, theres no relationship.
11/13/2012
Depends on the context. I wouldn't snoop in someone's private possessions but public stuff put on the internet, etc. is fair game!
11/13/2012
If you do snoop, be prepared to find the unexpected.
Snooping is the first step to break up. My recommendation... Don't!
Snooping is the first step to break up. My recommendation... Don't!
11/13/2012
Do you have a valid reason for feeling the need to snoop? Perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship. If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else.
11/13/2012
It would depend on how long you have been together. Just starting, respect their privacy. Committed...We don't see it as snooping. So not sure how to vote.
We share drawers, passwords, car keys, everything. Our relationship has always had an open-door policy.
We would say in the beginning ask, there should be no reason to hide things. If they are not willing to show you or tell you then yes, re-evaluate. Secrets have no place in a relationship. They lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
We share drawers, passwords, car keys, everything. Our relationship has always had an open-door policy.
We would say in the beginning ask, there should be no reason to hide things. If they are not willing to show you or tell you then yes, re-evaluate. Secrets have no place in a relationship. They lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
11/13/2012
Quote:
sometimes it's hard not to snoop but it really is best
Originally posted by
RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
11/13/2012
Don't snoop
11/13/2012
This is one of those huge 'depends' answers.
11/13/2012
This could go either way. We need more context.
11/13/2012
I don't snoop unless I have a logic reason for doing so.
11/13/2012
i agreed with skeeterlynn
11/13/2012
Quote:
I agree.
Originally posted by
Martiniman
This is one of those huge 'depends' answers.
11/13/2012
I agree it depends, but if you know somethings wrong then I would not feel the need to stay
11/13/2012
Quote:
I wholeheartedly agree! Be careful about snooping...can land you in heaps of trouble!
Originally posted by
js250
Treat his possessions the way you want yours treated. Would you feel pissed or upset if he snooped?
11/13/2012
You clearly already know he's an asshole..
11/13/2012
Don't waste your time, you know, and reminding yourself is just meaningless gratification that will end up bothering you
11/13/2012
Not a good idea.
11/13/2012
Quote:
Well, I can understand the need to be re-assured or those moments when you just freak out and need to calm your mind. I can understand that, but if you'd need to constantly snoop for issues such as having a recurring trust issue even though your partner really is faithful.
Originally posted by
RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Basically, I really don't gasp and say "how horrible!" when someone says they snoop just to rid their mind of a minor icky thought. I get it. We, as humans want to be reassured. But someone who's just totally untrustworthy shouldn't be in a relationship. If you happen to have real trust issues, then I think both partners should work together to relieve the issues. That's normal and it's not a deal breaker. If you love someone, you'll kindly help reassure them.
Now serious issues that affect how you treat someone is a deal breaker. Someone who constantly accuses their loved one and is rude and hateful is not a person who should be in a relationship. There is a line for snooping.
I personally don't feel the need to snoop. My partner and I are very open and honest and hide nothing from each other, but we're also strictly monogamous and happy that way, so that sets us apart from what typical relationships are like and leaves neither of us feeling the need to do things like snoop.
11/14/2012
I don't think anything good can come of snooping. Either you find a smoking gun, and he's a jerk. Or you snooped for no reason, and you're the jerk. Lose-lose, I think.
11/14/2012
Don't snoop... Let it go.
11/18/2012
don't snoop - your gut will let you know what to do/think
11/18/2012
Don't snoop.
11/19/2012
Quote:
talk to him instead.
Originally posted by
RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
11/19/2012
If you can't trust someone enough to not have to snoop, then you shouldn't be together.
12/02/2012
Don't snoop. You will regret it, and it will haunt you. Nothing good can come of it --
Possibility 1 -- You don't find anything, but you feel guilty for snooping. And you've just thrown any hint of trust out the window by snooping.
Possibility 2 -- You find something that causes you grief.
I made the mistake of snooping through a past boyfriends stuff. I hate that I did, although I felt justified at the time. Honestly, all my friends will tell you I was justified, too, but... I hate it. It haunted me that I did it for a long time.
Possibility 1 -- You don't find anything, but you feel guilty for snooping. And you've just thrown any hint of trust out the window by snooping.
Possibility 2 -- You find something that causes you grief.
I made the mistake of snooping through a past boyfriends stuff. I hate that I did, although I felt justified at the time. Honestly, all my friends will tell you I was justified, too, but... I hate it. It haunted me that I did it for a long time.
12/02/2012
Quote:
100% agree!!!
Originally posted by
MrWill
If you can't trust someone enough to not have to snoop, then you shouldn't be together.
12/02/2012
I can only understand due to having a cousin and an aunt who are both pathological liars and constantly backtrack to save their hides. So while I wish there was a middle ground to say it depends, if the person has proven time and time again you can't trust them, then do so.
Then kick them to the curb.
Then kick them to the curb.
12/02/2012
Go ahead and snoop
12/02/2012
I wouldn't do it.
12/02/2012
do not snoop
12/02/2012
i'd snoop
12/02/2012
Quote:
I picked snoop. Even though I have often heard that if you snoop you are going to find what you are looking for. But I would rather know the truth then be decived and fooled with alot of lies and bs. So if my snooping will hurt me a little but on the other end I'm letting go of a liar then so be it.Because i look at it like this, if im snooping and I find something surprising, that I wasnt suppose to know about, why are we even together, if you have to keep secrets especially major secrets away from me. Our relationship is not what I thought it was from the beginning.
Originally posted by
RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
12/02/2012
Quote:
Don't snoop.
Originally posted by
RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
12/02/2012
I'd snoop. If I have doubts or a bad feeling about something. I would snoop.
12/04/2012
Don't do it
12/04/2012
If you snoop, remember you cannot unsee whatever it is you find.
12/04/2012
Usually if I get a gut feeling that something isn't right usually I will snoop and so far my gut has been right. Really depends on what you are snooping for? If you aren't together anymore then you just need to let dead dogs lie and move on. If you are together instead of snooping maybe ask in a non accusing way what you are worried about. When I asked in a non accusing way they would get all defensive which then I really knew something was up. All I will say if good luck on this situation
12/04/2012
needing to snoop means that there is something seriously wrong. Whether you find something or not, you are still going to be suspicious.
12/04/2012
Do it!
12/05/2012
I say dont
12/05/2012
Sounds like you already know what kind of person you're dealing with. You don't need to snoop to find out what you already know.
12/07/2012
Quote:
Agreed.
Originally posted by
PropertyOfPotter
Do you have a valid reason for feeling the need to snoop? Perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship. If you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to someone else.
12/07/2012
Don't snoop.
12/29/2012
You know what they say, it's over when you stop checking his Facebook.
12/30/2012
Marriages break up because of it, if you have questions, ask, if you can't trust him, then don't date him.
01/06/2013
if I don't want it done to me, I don't do it.
01/06/2013
No that could cause alot of drama.
01/13/2013
Don't snoop.
01/20/2013
Holy cow, don't do it! It causes nothing but trouble regardless if you find something or not.
I snooped in the beginning of my 8 year so far relationship, and I don't think he's fully forgiven me to this day!
I snooped in the beginning of my 8 year so far relationship, and I don't think he's fully forgiven me to this day!
01/20/2013
Quote:
I agree with this. If you do not have the trust to not snoop I do not think you should be in a relationship with him. Trust is essential and to violate that trust hurts both parties.
Originally posted by
js250
Treat his possessions the way you want yours treated. Would you feel pissed or upset if he snooped?
01/20/2013
No Bueno! Snooping is bad.
01/20/2013
My girlfriend was snooping through my computer once and I was so pissed off.
01/30/2013
Definitely don't. But what are you talking about snooping on, anyway? A computer? A phone? Asking people who know him?
01/30/2013
dont snoop
01/30/2013
I wouldn't snoop
01/30/2013
dont snoop
01/30/2013
Why snoop? Just talk about it with him.
02/01/2013
Quote:
dont snoop- if you feel the need to, get out
Originally posted by
RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
02/01/2013
don't snoop. that means you are looking for trouble. if you feel like u cant trust him and you need to snoop to feel secure. its time to leave.
02/15/2013
Quote:
I feel betrayed and offended when others snoop on me. The temptation is great sometimes, but in my opinion it's never right.
Originally posted by
RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
02/15/2013
Depends.
I might not go through their phone or something, but I might fb stalk them, ha. Or if they're checking their email and we're both online at the same time I might glance over to see what they're looking at, but not like actively move the mouse around if they get up to use the bathroom or something
I think I'd like lightly snoop, in a curious and possibly obsessive way, but not like, "I WILL find you guilty of something!!!!!!" kind way
I might not go through their phone or something, but I might fb stalk them, ha. Or if they're checking their email and we're both online at the same time I might glance over to see what they're looking at, but not like actively move the mouse around if they get up to use the bathroom or something
I think I'd like lightly snoop, in a curious and possibly obsessive way, but not like, "I WILL find you guilty of something!!!!!!" kind way
02/18/2013
You wouldn't want someone to do it to you!
02/18/2013
Nope. I don't want obsessive thoughts.
02/18/2013
Nope, not at all.
03/04/2013
If your relationship is lacking in trust, that's an issue in itself. For my part, I wouldn't tolerate a partner who snooped (and I have never cheated on anyone, nor would I).
If you snoop and find something, you'll break up with him (I hope!) and not waste time. If you snoop and there's nothing to find, you have just given him a fantastic reason to break up with you. It's an action that portends the end of a relationship regardless of what you find.
If you snoop and find something, you'll break up with him (I hope!) and not waste time. If you snoop and there's nothing to find, you have just given him a fantastic reason to break up with you. It's an action that portends the end of a relationship regardless of what you find.
03/04/2013
Quote:
don't. :/ it's creepy.
Originally posted by
RememberMe
Snooping confirms how much of an asshole he is, and it helps to remove false hope. But when I snoop, he remains in my head.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
Private poll. Your names will be anonymous. Thanks.
03/04/2013
Total posts: 68
Unique posters: 68