The New Intimacy

Adding a 'gender' and 'used with' option to reviews?

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Contributor: Elaira Elaira
I think it would make a lot of sense to add a section on the review for whether the reviewer used this on another person and their gender and what their gender is.

I understand we don't try to classify but a lot of reviews say "my lover" or "my partner" and it is hard to determine gender.

What if a woman was looking for a review someone wrote where they had used the product with another woman?

I think it may be somewhat useful for some. I just want to see if anyone else would find this as useful as I would.
05/23/2011
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Contributor: Dusk Dusk
Maybe rather than gender we could use sex terms;
Women with Women
Men with Men
Women with Men
Men with Women

This would remove the issue of gender and just take things back to sex and what sex partner you were using the toy with.
05/23/2011
Contributor: cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
There is the opportunity to include that information in the review. The extended template and standard template have sort of guided information of what to include in a review. Ultimately it's up to the reviewer whether they want to include that info or not.

If someone is looking for a particular piece of info like that, they could

a)comment on a review with that question,
b)message the reviewer, or
c)start a thread like this one!

05/23/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
Maybe rather than gender we could use sex terms;
Women with Women
Men with Men
Women with Men
Men with Women

This would remove the issue of gender and just take things back to sex and what sex partner you were using the toy with.
but even terms like "men" and "women" would disclude other scenarios... there are lots of people who don't identify as male or female at all (i.e., not trans and not cis...)

Most reviews are very, very detailed about who used it and with whom. In cases of uncertainty, you can always ask (as Cherry said down below); but I've never read or written a review where who used it and their gender weren't clearly identified.
05/23/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
but even terms like "men" and "women" would disclude other scenarios... there are lots of people who don't identify as male or female at all (i.e., not trans and not cis...)

Most reviews are very, very detailed about ... more
Ah, well....I still believe Male and Female refer to gender, whereas Men and Women refer to the sex people have that they are assigned upon birth based on presence or absence of physical genitalia. It's why in my sexual health classes we refer to Men having sex with Men and so forth because it does not assume gender or sexual orientation.
05/23/2011
Contributor: Elaira Elaira
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
Ah, well....I still believe Male and Female refer to gender, whereas Men and Women refer to the sex people have that they are assigned upon birth based on presence or absence of physical genitalia. It's why in my sexual health classes we refer to ... more
Regardless of your gender identity we still have male or female parts which means a lot in the realm of sex toys. In terms of lubes, different ones could be better for male-male anal sex as opposed to female-male toy play. What made me think of this is that I wanted to find reviews by men and women on anal toys but sometimes it is hard to determine the gender of the reviewer.

And I mean . . . we have an option to put our sexuality in our profile.
05/23/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
Ah, well....I still believe Male and Female refer to gender, whereas Men and Women refer to the sex people have that they are assigned upon birth based on presence or absence of physical genitalia. It's why in my sexual health classes we refer to ... more
I see what you're saying. I was more referring to the scenarios where they don't identify as Man *or* Woman. Granted, there's no way to guarantee that *someone* won't be offended. Just the world we're in.

I still think it's not really needed in the reviews to have a specification. If someone doesn't *want* to specify, they won't. Whether there's an option to or not.
05/23/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
Regardless of your gender identity we still have male or female parts which means a lot in the realm of sex toys. In terms of lubes, different ones could be better for male-male anal sex as opposed to female-male toy play. What made me think of this ... more
Usually, in a male review of an anal toy, the prostate will be mentioned. Usually, in a female review of the same toy, the prostate won't be mentioned. But in almost all cases, if you check out the profile of the reviewer, their sex is listed and their orientation is too. I think it's fine to leave inclusion of sexes in the review at the reviewer's discretion, and if you're not sure, just leave a question in a comment.
05/23/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
Regardless of your gender identity we still have male or female parts which means a lot in the realm of sex toys. In terms of lubes, different ones could be better for male-male anal sex as opposed to female-male toy play. What made me think of this ... more
There's an option for gender too.

I understand that it might be easier to search, but if you just hover over the reviewer's name, all the information regarding sex and sexual orientation is going to pop up. That could be one way to streamline which reviews to read.
05/23/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Elaira
I think it would make a lot of sense to add a section on the review for whether the reviewer used this on another person and their gender and what their gender is.

I understand we don't try to classify but a lot of reviews say "my ... more
The thing is no one here has any problem with a politely worded question about the product use. You can simply ask if the person has a male or female partner...or both.
05/23/2011
Contributor: Sir Sir
Quote:
Originally posted by Dusk
Ah, well....I still believe Male and Female refer to gender, whereas Men and Women refer to the sex people have that they are assigned upon birth based on presence or absence of physical genitalia. It's why in my sexual health classes we refer to ... more
Other way around, actually. Male and female is sex, men and women is gender.

There is a reason they never did this. It was because it was not inclusive. That's why they say "g-spot," "anal," and other uses. I do not understand why that's not good enough?

Let me add on to that. I do not see why a person needs to write anything more than "my lover" or "my partner." Some people just prefer those terms as opposed to husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend. And like Airen said, just ask if you really need to know. No one will get upset if you ask what the body parts are of the partner so that you can know how it works for you.
05/23/2011
Contributor: K101 K101
I've never read a review where I just couldn't figure out their sex. I don't think it's that big of a deal really. I mean I'm only trying to learn how the toy worked. It doesn't matter to me whether or not it was a male or female. I don't find that it makes a huge difference in the toys I read reviews on. I usually can easily know whether the person's male or female since they always say "when I put this inside my vagina..." I mean I wouldn't want to add more to their reviewing job just because I didn't want to read the full review to figure it out. Most times if you read it thoroughly, you'll catch on. Or if it's that big of a deal why not look at their profile? You can hover your mouse over their little name and pic box and it clearly states male or female.
06/19/2011